


Travel

by Whedonite1113



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Angst and Humor, Explicit Language, F/F, Idiots in Love, Inspired by Music, K-pop References, Mentioned Other K-pop Artist(s), Reality Bending, Slow Burn, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:02:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 67,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28210593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whedonite1113/pseuds/Whedonite1113
Summary: The life and times of Mamamoo through a Moonsun lens aka "What If The Only Place You Could Hide Was In Plain Sight?" Kim Yongsun and Moon Byul-yi learn, through the years, they want more out of life than their music, even if living the life of an Idol has to come first . . . for now.
Relationships: Kim Yongsun | Solar/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Comments: 52
Kudos: 111





	1. Love Lane

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome, first things first, I am American who will do their best with the Korean references so please be kind! Second, even though there will be instances of real events in this story (although said events won't always be in chronological order to the real world's timeline) it's important to remember at the end of the day this is fanfiction and I mean no disrespect to any of the real people, this is meant to be enjoyed not judged. Finally, if you like what you read, smack the Kudos button like Solar smacks Byul every time she's greasy! Also, if you enjoy happy writers giving you happy content, please leave any comments below.
> 
> This ENTIRE fic has been outlined so if you start, know there will be a finish! Also, this is a super slow burn story so if that's not your speed best look elsewhere.
> 
> Also, happy early birthday to our dear dear dear beloved Moon Byul-yi! There aren't words to describe how grateful I feel that you are in this world, I hope I do your image proud with this fic. You are my hero!

"I like the bangs, unnie," Kim Yongsun observed aloud, glancing up from where she sat on the practice room floor, knees tucked against her chest as she buckled her shoes. Her new group member had made a rather noisy entrance before bee-lining to the mirror and was now fussing with her hair. "Don't you?"

"It's so different," Moon Byul-yi commented, tugging at the aforementioned bangs and swiping away stray hairs, "So windy today. But at least I don't have mask lines on my cheeks. No need for a mask with the particle count down." She paused momentarily as her eyes caught sight of Yongsun's reflection staring at her. "Is there something on my face?" she asked, her tone halfway between confrontational and playful. Yongsun returned her attention to the buckle and snapped it closed. Sighing, Byul turned and slowly crossed to her group's new leader. She didn't like how small Yongsun seemed on the floor so she decided to join her. "Are you nervous about oppa coming in to observe today?" Yongsun sighed and nodded. 

"Aren't you? The title track isn't ready yet, and Hyejin still keeps messing up the choreography." Byul bit her bottom lip and nodded. 

"You'd think with all the time she and Wheein spend together they could spend some time practicing together. Wheein picks it up fast." Yongsun smiled, pulling her knees up to her chest.

"You noticed how close they are too, huh?" Byul giggled.

"Since we were trainees. I once teased them they were going to get growths on their hips from how attached they always were." Byul laughed a little harder at her joke as Yongsun groaned and rolled her eyes.

"You're so cheesy," she remarked, reaching into her bag and pulling out the sheet music to their future debut track, "Mr. Ambiguous" into her lap. 

"Not as much as that song," Byul noted, a hint of bitterness in her voice as she scooted over and began reading over Yongsun's shoulder. 

"What are you doing?" Yongsun immediately asked, "You can't read my notes, check your own music." Byul shoved her finger onto the page, denting the paper inward. 

"Unnie has funny handwriting," she taunted with a giggle, "why do you write everything in erasable ink? Do you have bad eyesight? You can't read pencil? Do you have a tick growing in your eye?" Byul impishly poked at Yongsun's cheek and was immediately swatted away by an irritated hand. One of them was laughing but the other clearly was not. Yongsun stood and stormed away from her and toward the keyboard at the other end of the room, plopping onto the bench with a disgruntled groan. "Unnie, I am playing. I'm nervous. I tease when I'm nervous," Byul insisted, splaying her arms and legs out like a starfish, or a toddler, begging the other person to accept their apology.

Yongsun placed the music on the music rack and started playing through the melody, turning her head momentarily to smile. "Well, maybe you'll be less nervous if you come over and practice your part." Grumbling, Byul got to her feet and slowly crossed the glossy floor.

"What part? My rap on page six of ten?" Yongsun nodded as Byul slowly approached, waving her hand at Byul's nearby bag. 

"That and these lower harmonies you have in the chorus." Byul reached into her bag and produced a little notebook she had been scraping raps into since her training days. Yongsun continued to play absent-mindedly, watching Byul extract her notes. The younger girl narrowed her eyebrows when she was concentrating. It creased her forehead line just enough that it popped down below the long, uniform bangs she was now donning. Yongsun couldn't fathom why the stylist made that call. It wasn't like they were ancient. Sure, Hyejin and Wheein were eighteen but twenty-two wasn't anything to sneer at. It couldn't be. But she'd meant it. She liked the bangs anyway. "You really don't like the song?" Byul shrugged as she migrated closer as she flipped the thin, tiny pages. 

"I don't **dislike** it. It just feels strange mixing rap with jazz music. Did you hear how much brass was added during the last track recording?" Yongsun sighed and decided to try out this new leadership thing by asking a tougher question. She stopped playing and turned toward Byul.

"Is it about line distribution?" Byul finally looked up from her pad, her lips pressing together, _no doubt to keep from saying anything_ , Yongsun thought. "Don't do that. If there's something you want to complain about, do it." Byul's eyebrows knit together more firmly, and against them, she found her voice.

"There's nothing to complain about. The song is fine," she said with such finality it took Yongsun aback. She stared harder at Byul and for a moment it looked like more would come tumbling out of the younger girl's mouth, but the moment passed, and following it, Byul folded her notebook firmer into her palm and navigated back to her bag. "I found these in a still unpacked box. Sorry, I forgot to get them to you sooner," she announced, producing a pair of three-inch heels that Yongsun immediately recognized. She didn't really appreciate the fact Byul was so quick to change the subject, but she would let it go for now. Mostly because the look on Byul's face as she dangled the strap between her two very long fingers was endearing in a way that a flutter passed through her chest. 

Swallowing down the sensation, she smiled and approached Byul, taking the heels (making sure to run her fingertips against the other set, subconsciously of course) and placing them on a nearby table. "Thank you. I was just glad to have an extra pair." Byul nodded.

"Me too, Unnie. You come prepared. That's what will make you a good leader. CEO-oppa chose right between us." Yongsun smiled. "I tried it out once, back with SM. Too much pressure." Yongsun tilted her head.

"I didn't know that." Byul nodded again, running a finger over her ear to tuck a long black strand out of her face. "And . . . thank you. But I can't even manage to get my members to rehearsal on time." Yongsun pointed at the clock. The two maknaes of the group were already seven minutes late. 

"Are you sure you got the time right? We could be early."

"Two people can't be early." Byul sighed, rubbing her cheek. 

"So we're the only ones here. Is that so bad?" The little whimper in Byul's voice took Yongsun off-guard. There was an emotion there she didn't understand, something soft that made her skin crawl and worse yet made her uncomfortable . . . like she had somehow hurt the girl's feelings. But before Yongsun could settle on any semblance of a reaction, the door burst open, Wheein and Hyejin slipping their practice heels on with a loud clatter.

"We almost missed the bus," Wheein explained right away, and then turning to Hyejin she asked, "Do you think anyone saw us running down the hall?" Byul crossed back to the piano, leaving Yongsun to deal with the situation however she saw fit. "We are sorry we're late, Leader-nim." Yongsun's startled gaze shot between the pair as Hyejin gulped down a large swig of water.

"You don't have to speak formally to her," Hyejin said in a tone as blase as asking for paper or plastic at the convenience store. Yongsun's eyes landed on Hyejin who stared right back. "We're friends now," she clarified, "CEO oppa said we should act more like family. How can we do that if we have to speak formally to each other?" Yongsun's eyes narrowed. 

"It is different being here and being at home, unnie," Yongsun stated, "it's about habits and how we want everyone to treat us. Did you hear the same comments as I did at our evaluation?"

"I thought they were decently positive," Wheein said, rolling her pant legs up to give herself a bit more circulation. It was only May and already it was blazing in downtown Seoul. 

"Pretty voices, not so pretty faces," was Yongsun's somewhat venomous retaliation. 

"They didn't say that," Byul countered from across the room, "that's too harsh."

"It's not though," Yongsun insisted, "not their exact words, ok, but it's what they're saying behind our backs. And our faces are what sells. If we want to be taken seriously by them it matters what faces we present, and arriving late, running down halls -- " her eyes flitted to Hyejin and back, " -- speaking to our elders informally? This isn't going to make them take us seriously. We are this company's very first girl group. It's up to us to set a **new** standard." This seemed to strike a chord with the entire group. Hyejin, looking properly admonished, nodded along with Wheein. Yongsun didn't even bother to turn to look at Byul, she could see her in the mirror, furiously writing into her notepad once again. _You're all beautiful -- but it's not the only thing that matters_ , Yongsun thought as she shook her head. "But look let's -- let's not start there today, ok?" She put on her best possible smile. "Wheein, will you run us through warm-ups while we wait? Maybe they got caught up. We have to respect the fact they have a lot of stress on their plate." 

Yongsun went up to Hyejin and wrapped her arm around her, leading them both over to the keyboard. Hyejin didn't return the embrace but likewise kept in step with her new leader. A few minutes later the new RBW group "Mamamoo" could be heard down the halls warming up in scaled harmonies as CEO Kim Jim-Woo and his visiting friend, producer Baek Z Young, entered the room. 

CEO Jim-Woo so far seemed to be the more approachable of the paired RBW runners. He was more invested in the details than the big picture, which was offset by the juxtaposition of Ms. Ji-Young's presence in a tightly tailored power suit with an expression on her face that was a polar opposite to her soft features. She struck a closed-off stance as she sized up the women who were now lined up side by side in a formation that seemed rehearsed yet somehow innate, starting with Moonbyul on the right next to Yongsun beside Wheein and Hyejin capping off the line on the other end. They bowed in unison in each person's direction in greeting. They received little head nods in return. "Good morning, girls," Jim-Woo said with a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, "you are sounding warmed up. That's good." Yongsun visibly exhaled at the compliment, feeling a small pat on her back from her right. "Ms. Ji-Young is here to listen to the song and give you feedback. Remember what we spoke about in evaluations. The vocals and performance are key. So, there's perfect, and then there is where Mamamoo has to be: far past that. Understood?" The girls' nods were tiny and in sync. "Good. Is the track loaded into the docking tray?"

"Oppa, do you want to see the choreography -- " Yongsun tried to wrangle Hyejin and Wheein gently by the arms as Byul fiddled with the computer program. Popping open her jacket, Baek Z Yong, or Ms. Ji-Young, opened up a folding chair and placed it with her back to the mirror. 

"Just the song," was her curt reply as she sat and crossed her legs. Seconds later the intro began. The group sang through the song, Hyejin already off-book and not even needing to look over at the lyrics, an action that seemed to impress no one but her members. The pair of eyes watched and listened, their expressions mostly unchanging until the end when Ji-Young politely smiled and stood. "You all sound very good together, even at this early stage. Show me your introduction?" 

Yongsun stared at the woman that held nearly six inches on them and snapped her fingers. "1-2 -- " and the group sang in four-part harmony, "I say MaMa-MaMa-Moo!" They bowed, and when they said hello, stuck their fingers up across their lips like mustaches. Ji-Young's nose curled and she turned back to Jim-Woo pointing at Wheein's face. Jim-Woo shifted in his seat.

"The girls are going to wear finger mustaches during their opening choreography. It will make them stick out if people remember the song every time they are introduced." Ji-Young didn't look the least bit amused as she turned back and offered up a quaint smile. Yongsun's eyes flitted down the line to Wheein and Hyejin who had mostly disinterested expressions on their faces, and by a quick glance in the mirror, Yongsun could see her neck muscles tense. Once again there was small pressure at her back and while one part of her wanted to swat Byul's hand away, she gave in to the side that took comfort in the touch. It was there and gone again. 

"CEO oppa has always had a fun way of trying to market people. And you girls will need it. You have the song, mostly, but you're going to have to do a lot more to put distinction in the harmonies in the middle, and you really have to listen to each other on entrances. Some of you -- " her eyes snapped down to Hyejin who looked surprised to be under such sharp attention, especially since her members knew she had sung the song the best, " -- shouldn't put the music away before it's ready. Mistakes are too easy to make, even when you're certain you have it." Her gaze returned to Yongsun. "It's your responsibility to make sure they're refined. Girl groups fall through the cracks at twice the rate of boys. Always keep that in mind." A sharp inhale through her teeth accompanied a swift placement of her hands on her hips before leaving the practice room. 

"Harsh but fair, wouldn't you agree?" CEO Jim-Woo said, "Now, let's get down to some gritty work. Start from the beginning. I have the remote. You sing, I will stop and start to offer notes and we will tweak what I point out. Ready?" This time, Hyejin leaned closer to Wheein to share her music. "Begin." 

********

_Harsh but fair, harsh but fair . . ._ was all that ran through Yongsun's mind as they ran through the choreography from the bridge to the end for the tenth time. Each girl had sweat stains on the backs of their shirts, their temples shone, and Byul was constantly using the front of her shirt to wipe her upper lip. A fact alone, not something Yongsun noticed each time. They hit their final turn, striking the ending pose, held it for ten seconds, and then finally collapsed like a set of paired dominos. "The moves aren't hard, but the crosses are huge!" Hyein groaned as she cradled her head against her knees, "Did the choreographer measure our legs?"

"The heels are going to arrive in our spots before we do," Byul teased, patting Hyejin's shoulder before crossing to the table for her water. "They said four and a half inches." Hyejin moaned and fell back on her ass. 

"You always wear heels," Wheein said, giving Hyejin's foot a little shove, "dancing in them is no different, even if they're huge." 

"10,000 won says I fall in the first two bars of music," Hyejin said as Wheein helped her up and toward the table for their water. 

Yongsun turned to the mirror, pulling the hair tie from around her wrist down and lacing her hair off her neck in a loose bun. She stared in the mirror, seeing how tired her group was, but also looking at the clock. They had the studio open to them for another two hours. "Again," Yongsun insisted. None of them moved, still catching their breath. "We still aren't together on the ending." The retreat back to the mirror was a slow one, made with three very pouty faces, but no one objected. 

"Unnie, will you buy us dinner if we get it?" Byul challenged, hopping over to her and giving her shoulder a closed fist tap. Yongsun turned out and away from the playfulness, forcing herself not to notice how good Byul smelled with a little workout sweat lingering on her skin. At first, a scowl settled on her face, but with a roll of her eyes she agreed,

"If the ramyeon shop is still open," which earned her a small cheer and claps from the maknae line as a push of a button started the song over. 

*****

The elevator was broken so after rehearsal, the girls had to take the stairs down from the studio floor RBW had rented. "My thighs feel like they're going to give birth to thighs," Wheein griped as she pushed the door that opened up to the street, the others following behind her. 

"Your thighs are fine," Byul insisted, a small blush washing over her cheeks as the wind hit their skin and the foursome approached the crosswalk. Wheein hadn't heard her, already asking Hyejin what she planned on getting added into her ramyeon, but Yongsun noticed and as a result was suddenly very interested in checking her online bank statement to count up how much this little reward was going to cost her. As they approached the little nook that wafted of noodle fumes, Byul nudged Yongsun and said, "You're a good sport for following through with this. I can help you pay if you want. My family was able to send me a little extra money this week." 

"I don't need your help," Yongsun quickly responded, increasing the girth of her steps to side-step how close she and Byul had been seconds ago, before twirling back around with a wide-set grin and adding, "But, I was planning on having some SoJu if you wanted to pick that up!" Byul's somewhat shocked expression mixed into one of amusement as they stepped into the little alcove to place their orders. 

A few minutes later they were seated at a small picnic table, slurping down the boiling hot soup and noodles with a hunger that felt inhuman from all the calories they burned. Byul and Yongsun were dissecting a part of the choreography back and forth when Hyejin insisted for the third time they not talk about work. "The song will be fine, the choreography will be fine, let's be different, let's not be like a big three group that can only share with each other what their day consisted of!"

"Fair enough," Yongsun admitted, chewing and swallowing a fish cake, "but -- "

"No buts, unnie," Hyejin insisted, "unless you want to talk about guys' butts. **Then** we have a topic worth our time." The group giggled, but Byul shook her head, her chopsticks mashing deeper into the styrofoam cup. 

"Whose butt did you have in mind?" Wheein asked. Hyejin shrugged.

"There hasn't been one recently to take much interest in. And I'm sick of staring at all of yours," Hyejin said which almost made Wheein spit out the soda she was drinking before countering,

"You like my butt." Hyejin nodded.

"I do, I do. What about you, Yongsun, unnie?" Yongsun's chopsticks stopped midway to her mouth. "Tell us about a nice apple butt that's caught your attention recently." Yongsun's whole body seemed to be frozen on the fritz, and in the time it took the other two to notice, Byul piped up,

"Unnie doesn't like asses. She doesn't like what she doesn't have." Hyejin and Wheein howled while a light whack landed on Byul's shoulder followed by Yongsun's scolding tone,

"Byul-ah! Respect your elders!" Byul reached across the table and pretended to flick away a booger from Yongsun's nose.

"I will respectfully clean my elders' noses!" Byul continued, at which point Wheein nearly fell over, laughing so hard she was literally holding her side. "Unnie's boogers are huge!" Hyejin put her chopsticks down to cover her mouth so partially chewed food didn't projectile over the table. "There's so much! Quick maknaes, fetch me a shovel!"

"Stop it, stop it!" Wheein pleaded, grabbing Yongsun's hand before it could seek vengeance, "you both will destroy the table and I really want my noodles." Hyejin and Wheein wiped their eyes as Byul and Yongsun shared a smile that was equal parts warm and a warning, both of them looking for an opening to continue their fake war-play, but Hyejin quickly pulled the subject back to where it was:

"You can tell us, Byul. Did you leave anyone behind before succumbing to the trenches?" Byul's attention was practically yanked away from Yongsun's and back to her noodle cup. She shrugged casually.

"There was someone. Once. I put everything into them and, uh, they had no interest in doing the same." The mood at the table suddenly sobered as the other three wondered how to respond to Byul's confession. "I was so lucky I had Minji, she helped me so much. Honestly, I miss her more than the other person -- than him. I talked to her on the phone the other day. She was with my sisters, asking if we knew when we were going to debut and I told her CEO oppa said sometime in June. That's so soon." Hyejin and Wheein nodded.

"And yet not soon enough," Wheein added, "the anticipation is killing me. The suspense is almost as bad as when we were trainees, still so much 'almost.'"

"I understand," agreed Yongsun, whose eyes hadn't left Byul's since her small confession, but now idly stirred the bottom of her cup. 

"What about you, Wheein?" Byul asked briskly as if something in her tone anticipated the answer, "is there anyone in your life other than Hyejin?" Yongsun gave the younger girl a tiny shove but Wheein just slurped down another mouthful of noodle and shook her head.

"Never has been, never will be." Hyejin made an "aww" face before retorting,

"That's gross. Just like boys." The table chuckled, but Hyejin continued. "Neither of us had a lot of time for dating with riding into Seoul every weekend. Not unless it was a special occasion like a party. Plenty of boys to kiss there." Wheein pretended to be lost in a memory that Hyejin soon shared with the same silly, matching expressions on their faces. Seconds later they broke down into giggles as Byul's attention sobered onto Yongsun. She hated it when Byul looked at her that way, it made her feel entirely exposed. 

"What about you, Yong, unnie? Any late-night texts from a secret, illegal paramour?" Byul's weirdly flirtatious tone asked.

Yongsun swiped across the table at Byul's shoulder. "Awah! No, Byul-ah! Ok, there was one boy in high school but not since. Relationships are so much work."

"And you're a hard worker," Hyejin countered, a final large bite of noodles going into her mouth. Meanwhile, Byul hadn't stopped staring at her and smiled wide at her as something twinkled in Yongsun's eyes that burned all the way up to the back of the leader's ears. 

"Stop it," she said in a quiet whisper, hoping only Byul would hear her but Wheein answered instead.

"I'm not doing anything, ok now I'm doing something." Wheein's hand clapped down on the table hard making Yongsun shriek. "Got it!" Wheein cheered, using a napkin to wipe off her hand and the table from the bug's remains. Byul covered her hand, laughing so hard she started to lean back, kicking the top of Yongsun's shin.

"Don't laugh at me!" Yongsun chided through a laugh of her own, picking up her own napkin and after wadding it up, tossing it at Byul who only laughed harder. 

"Such flirts," Hyejin observed aloud with a shake of her head, shoving another large bite of ramyeon into her mouth. 

*****

"Unnie," Byul whispered close into Yongsun's ear as they stood in the metaphorical wings ready to step out into their first debut stage, "remember -- the views for the music video were good. They're ready to see us." Yongsun's hand slinked down the fabric of Byul's neon yellow dress and clutched the hand it found there. "My sisters came. Wheein's friend too. We're ready." Yongsun nodded, closing her eyes and taking a breath. After she did so, she let go of Byul's hand and turned to reach for the maknaes behind them. 

"Circle," she commanded, pulling Byul into her right side and Hyejin into her left. The group did as they were asked, for change, and wrapped their arms around one another. Dipping their heads forward to be heard over the currently performing group and the crowd, Yongsun said, "No matter what happens, smile. Let's make them remember us." Three separate smiles met Yongsun's eyes as she nodded and felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Mamamoo, stand by for the next light shift," the stage manager informed them and pointed to a spot just off-camera where they immediately went to line up. Seconds later the lights changed and flickered and Mamamoo hurried on to the sounds of polite applause as they navigated to their opening positions.

Immediately there was a strong start, their hard work producing instantaneously pleasing vocals working in their favor. Gratefully there was also a succinct balance with the microphones and track. At first, their performance began with a lukewarm reception in spite of the fact they were performing better than they had in any one rehearsal. The inevitable nerves that were tremoring throughout each member faded away when their eyes met individual audience members, landing on several continuous looks of surprise. For every glassy-eyed guy, there was some younger girl moving from side to side to the beat. It tempered the anxiety prevalent but unnoticeable in the opening lines of the song so that by the time they got to MoonByul's rap, the smiles on each of their faces were genuine. Unlit lightsticks started to bounce, signs were swaying in tempo, and smiles trickled out through the audience in a wave until the final pose was struck, and what had once been polite claps of acknowledgment were now loud cheers of applause. 

Mamamoo had debuted. 

\--------------------

Climbing into the van, the air whipped at their backs as the group shifted into their seats and the large mechanical door closed behind them. "It was so hard to hear," Wheein commented as she shook the blanket from her shoulders and wrapped it around her legs, "that wind never slowed down. Do you think we sounded all right?" Mamamoo had just finished performing in a large parking lot to a crowd of just a little over one hundred with nothing more than two speakers on either side of them to ensure the audience heard the music, but Wheein had a point, it had been difficult to hear each other. 

"Either way, I'm sure someone will find something wrong with it," Hyejin said rather matter of factly from her front passenger seat, "it felt like we did all the songs right. Yongsun-ssi, is your neck any better?" From her middle bucket seat adjacent to Wheein, Yongsun rubbed the back of her neck as the van's engine turned over. 

"It's fine," Yongsun lied. 

"Here," Byul said from behind her, having nearly the entire backseat to herself, "lean your head forward a bit." Yongsun did as she was told, Byul's hands massaging thoroughly against the tender area. "You've been spending too much time hunched over your laptop reading articles. Bad news is bad for the soul." Byul chuckled a little but the joke didn't land well for anyone so her laughter died quickly. "We worked hard. We did well. I'm sure CEO oppa will see agree, he looked pleased enough." Her tone was meant to be encouraging so she was somewhat surprised when Yongsun turned around and coldly countered,

"It's my responsibility to know what they think so we know where to work."

"We can't change our faces, unnie," Hyejin interjected. Yongsun kept her eyes locked on Byul, however, who thereby was forced to nod and shrug in agreement. "Byul is only saying -- "

"I know!" Yongsun countered, turning her focus to the front seat as the van made a turn and she was forced against the backing.

"Don't fight," Wheein begged, her tone mildly irritated and tired, "there's nothing to fight about. Let's focus on how much everyone enjoyed today. So many smiles. Crystal clear." Byul's face broke into a grin. 

"That was nice," she agreed, Hyejin humming her own confirmation. Yongsun sighed, crossing her arms, but she also nodded.

"They were singing along. Only a few songs and already -- they're singing along." Yongsun's hand reached back for Byul and for a moment, Byul stared at it, unsure what to do, but her hand took Yongsun's before her brain was able to give an opposing. The group rode back to the studio to retrieve their things in better spirits, chatting back and forth, Byul's thumb lightly rubbing across Yongsun's knuckles the whole way. 

*****

Shows in parks soon followed up the parking lot showcases, and while it was nice to perform in broadcasts, Mamamoo found deeper, more meaningful enjoyment from the opportunity to see their fans' faces and get the expressive feedback from people their music was already beginning to influence. For Byul, it was an indescribable high, a place where the news or their producers' criticisms and critiques could disappear, and all that existed was a love language bred anew between her members, herself, and the people in front of or below them. It made the work real. But there was something else occurring during those times as well, something strange and wonderful. 

Her eyes wandered occasionally, especially when it was her turn to do the rap section, and every once in a while, she would catch Yongsun's gaze in her own, the big browns of her leader's irises sparkling in the glisten of the stage lights or the beams of the sun, and suddenly her adrenaline kicked harder than before. The little grunt she would do at the end of her section would become a congratulatory noise over the idea her leader was in awe and approval of her performance. It made Byul so excited to get backstage and revel in another great performance, to touch Yongsun's arms, to lean heavily against her shoulder, or to smooth down the frame of her hair on her face, to pour back what she had been given. And to her private delight, Yongsun seemed to revel in the attention. 

Once she had offered up the same affection to Wheein, whose smile also occasionally made her beam or giggle, and caught Yongsun staring, and finding the previous brightness of their performance dulled as Byul grabbed onto Wheein and hung on a little too long after the polite distribution time for a hug. An instinct was immediately developed then, and Byul knew to cross to Yongsun immediately and tease her in some way, a way that was definitively different from her preceding behavior. After a few playful pokes and verbal jabs, Yongsun was smiling again. And as long as Yongsun was smiling, Byul was good. 

If only their music lane was as easy to navigate and elevate.

Promotions for "Mr. Ambiguous" seemed to zoom by before they were already beginning to try out new songs for their second single release. Keeping with the jazz theme established in "Hello," the name of the next song would be "Piano Man," and once again, the style didn't easily lend itself to an injection of free-flowing fast-paced lyrics, yet the pressure to succeed was prevalent every time Byul turned around. Which was why today she was in a studio room on the company's rented floor after hours, recoding and replaying section after section when Yongsun left a meeting with CEO oppa and found her. "Byul-ah?" came Yongsun's surprised voice after she opened the door, "it's late why are you still here?" Byul slumped back into the cushion of the spinning chair and held up her small notebook. 

"Same reason I'm always here," she answered with a touch of defeat, "I can't compose the rap for the new song until the melody is sharpened and perfected. But for some reason, I'm still trying anyway." She tossed the notebook onto the table. "Definition of insanity."

Yongsun came in and shut the door behind her. "Then maybe that's enough work for today." Byul's eyebrow went so far up into her forehead it disappeared behind her bangs. 

"Who are you and what have you done with Kim Yongsun?" she asked, turning the chair to look at Yongsun who plopped herself down in a nearby rolling chair. "I have to keep going until it's perfect."

"It can't be perfect if there aren't enough footholds to climb. Like you said. Insanity." The corners of Yongsun's eyebrows married. "You usually know that." Byul sighed.

"Oh what do you know about what I know," she grumbled, picking the notebook back up and flipping through some pages. She re-read a few lines and pulled a face before shaking her head, sensing the tense energy rolling off Yongsun in waves. "It's just not working, unnie," she admitted in defeat, an explanation for her barbed tone. 

"All right. Let's do something else, then," Yongsun suggested, "maybe we can step out for a few hours? Restaurants and clothing malls are still open. We can spend that huge paycheck they gave us." Byul chuckled, knowing both their bank accounts had barely grown in the last six months. That was another internal gripe. So much work. So little payback. Except for the face of the crowd. But that doesn't put food on the table nor words on the page. "Unnie, come on, talk, don't just shut down." Byul placed the pad back on the table and nodded.

"Have you decided what cover you want to work on for the next show?" Yongsun's cheeks flushed and suddenly she seemed hell-bent on not meeting Byul's eyes for a solid five seconds before their gazes re-settled. 

"There was a song I liked. Probably not for the show, but it's been stuck in my head lately. Do you know BoA sunbaenim's 'Moon and Sunrise?'" Byul's head did a strange little loop before it stilled and in its relaxation, exhumed a flustered giggle from the back of Byul's tight throat.

"It's a good song," Byul agreed, turning to the laptop and searching youtube until she found a track and pulled it up. 

"What are you doing?"

"Sing it," Byul insisted as the music began. 

"No," Yongsun countered although she stood and began looking for a disconnected microphone on the table. "Besides it's not -- " but Yongsun didn't get the chance to finish before the introduction shifted into the first verse. Byul watched as Yongsun's eyes shut and she began to lightly sway side to side with the feel of the music. The notes were a little higher than was usually comfortable for her range, but Yongsun's prowess was nothing to scoff at. When the chorus began to climb, Yongsun's head voice tricked right up to each pitch, hitting them perfectly. 

"The high sky, like your heart, only gets farther away.  
My falling tears are protecting my heart.  
I can’t forget that love of yours.  
That white cloud, too, is changing little by little,  
like you at this moment.  
Joy, warmth, and even this love will probably  
begin to change very slowly."

By the end of the first chorus, Yongsun opened her eyes from the spell of the song and stamped her foot at Byul who had a big shit-eating grin on her face. "Oh-wah, what? Don't just sit there smiling at me like that." 

Chuckling, Byul grabbed another disconnected microphone and began the next verse. It was very close to being out of her range and her head voice didn't sound as confident as Yongsun's had, but she sang confidently anyway. 

"How many memories must  
I hold onto as I live . . .  
But I know, that since I’ve met you  
I’ve been happy."

When the chorus circled around this time, Yongsun took the high part of the melody while Byul harmonized beneath her. The rich tone of Byul's fuller, lower vocal richness resonated gorgeously beneath the breathy runs of Yongsun's higher notes and when Yongsun closed her eyes and turned her head the tiniest bit as if her mouth was both chasing after as well as unleashing the power in the swell of the music, Byul's volume increased to support the musical branch they landed on. 

"The wind comes blowing.  
Even today the path becomes covered with fallen leaves.  
Your voice only slowly gets farther and farther away.  
There’s a moon that shines on me  
and there’s a shining sun.  
Like that, after time passes, I’ll probably be able to forget you.  
Even if its a fake, for each other we must smile.  
My falling tears fall your appearance.  
So that I can laugh when we meet again."

As the song died away, the pair were left with nothing more to do than to stare at each other, smiling. "Wow," Yongsun whispered, and for a moment, against the rhythmic hammering in her chest, Byul thought Yongsun was going to say something remarkable. And she did. Sort of. "We would make a great subunit, don't you think?" Clearing her throat, Byul nodded, wanting to say something clever or sweet, but unable to help herself, landed on,

"Presumptuous, unnie! Just because we sound amazing together you think I want to do a subunit?" Yongsun made a "psh," noise, shoving Byul's shoulder and the younger girl fell back into her chair dramatically.

"Stop being weird," Yongsun insisted, leaning over Byul to scroll through the computer's selection of other tracks. Her torso was very close, so close in fact that neither of them found it strange when Byul's hand reached up and gently stroked the outside of Yongsun's ribs. "Byul-ah," Yongsun laughed, "don't I'm ticklish." Byul giggled and did it again, with a lot more mischievous precision so Yongsun had to curl away from her. "I said stop!" Yongsun demanded, her own hands reaching out to dig into Byul's ribs.

"No good," she said, placing her hands on her head, exposing the entirety of her sides and underarms to her attacker. "I'm not ticklish." Yongsun ran her hands up and down Byul's clothed skin and practically dug her fists into the seated woman's pits, but the laughter coming from Byul's lips was from the frustrated look on Yongsun's face only. 

"Ai-shh," Yongsun chided, finally caving but giving Byul a swift kick at the ankle before picking up Byul's notebook and immediately putting a distance between them as she flipped a few pages. 

"No," Byul contended, up like a flash and snatching the notebook from her, "it's -- I don't care if you read it it's just filled with half ideas." Yongsun shrugged.

"Why would I not want to see that? Maybe I can help." Byul laughed, for real this time and Yongsun's cheeks flushed. "What? I can rap too you know, I've been taking lessons!" Byul shook her head and resumed the recline of her seat.

"I know, unnie, I know. It's just -- it's the pressure."

"All idols are under a lot of pressure," Yongsun reminded, her tone sounding a little disregarding in Byul's mind so she decided to clarify.

"This is a different kind of pressure. The kind that -- " Byul sighed, " -- I confess. You -- you're not the only one reading what they're writing about us." Yongsun's expression softened as she sat back in the opposite chair. "I saw Hyejin in the bathroom a few days ago. She had been crying before and was trying to pull herself together before coming into rehearsal. She'd read a comment on an article that was making fun of how dark her skin was, another one saying how Wheein is too short to be an idol, and -- " Byul bit her top lip and shook her head, " -- and so I read what she was talking about. And people they're -- let's just say I can see why CEO oppas said what they did." Yongsun crossed her arms and studied Byul's face for a moment before she reached out and took Byul's hand.

"We're at the table because we deserve to be here," she insisted but Byul shook her head.

"I'm a rapper in a vocal performance group. Why?" It was the first time Yongsun was hearing of this so her eyebrows creased together with a thickness that loosened Byul's lips even further. "I want to be in Mamamoo. But to keep my slot I have to be perfect. Write perfect. And I feel like I'm failing." Yongsun's hand squeezed Byul's as she leaned forward, her voice dropping to a soothing pitch Byul had never heard her use before.

"This is just the beginning. You're right. You're in Mamamoo because you're supposed to be here. You're doing wonderful, we all see that. You have to see it too, Byul-ah. Wait for the song to be finished. You'll see. You'll come up with the exact right thing to make our sound complete." Byul was taken aback so far that she nearly fell out of her chair. Yongsun wasn't one to shovel out compliments, even when it had to be mixed with criticism, but the words she used now? It cut right to Byul's core. She shook her head to stave off potential tears but didn't stop herself from following the instinct to stand and pull Yongsun into a tight hug. "All right, all right, enough," Yongsun requested, after a few seconds. When they parted, neither could hide their matching smiles. "Don't act like I never say anything nice," Yongsun added, a twinge of a blush creeping into her cheeks.

"Your words are as beautiful as your smile," Byul muttered, meaning it in all seriousness but was repaid with a puckish shove at her shoulder.

"Ew, don't," Yongsun chided although her smile matched a forthcoming giggle, "don't ever do that again, that sounds so greasy." Byul's eyebrow ticked up into her bangs. 

"If you say so," she skillfully answered, already lying in wait for when she could do it again. 

\-----------

Mamamoo was always in their element when they were allowed to feed off each other. Their lessons and training prepared them what to say in interviews, even if their inherent introverted personalities sometimes made them stutter, but put them in a game situation? It was camera gold. Their manager tried to book as many of these options as possible, and this time they were playing a game surrounded by sticky notes filled with questions they had to answer. While simple in execution, the girls were having a riot, joking with each other and making up half-truth answers that made them sound witty or clever -- or in some cases were outright embarrassing. Those usually came from Hyejin who reveled in seeing her sisters' faces squish in flustered humor. "All right," the male interviewer said just off-camera, catching the girls' attention, "this time reach for a quote or idea that you want to embrace in the future." All four members' attention flitted around the room, quickly reading as many sticky notes as possible. Hyejin stuck a piece of paper to Wheein's forehead who seemed utterly unbothered by the maneuver as they both bent down to make their selections.

Yongsun watched as Byul on the other hand, reached up as far as she could and when her fingers brushed against the paper, the leader stepped up beside her, using the paper in her own hand as a fulcrum against the immovable piece until she swiped it down for her member. "Thank you, unnie," Byul said, reading it over again and then blushing a bit, "ah, this may be too much." Immediately, Yongsun's attention peaked as she craned her head over Byul's shoulder to read what was written, "it's so cliche." Wheein at that moment snuck up behind Byul and read what was written aloud,

"You want to be more free?" Byul brought her hands down to her side and nodded, facing the camera, while Yongsun stared on at her with a soft and somewhat sympathetic smile before commenting,

"But girls can act freely too." Byul visibly swallowed, attention remaining in the direction of the camera as she nodded and held up the card to the tiny screen.

"Guess I'm caught," she confessed, her smile growing broader, hearing but not hearing Yongsun's words that were meant to be encouraging but somehow only made her feel more flustered. 

Mixed in with the answers were also questions that they handed off between themselves to read, and in an effort to detract from the weird sensations Byul was feeling she read the slip of paper Yongsun handed to her. "Pushing ahead -- who would you like to do a subunit with?" Byul's eyes flickered up to Yongsun for a brief moment who presented her with such a grin that the only thing Byul could think to do in response was to strike a cheesy pose with an even cheesier smile as Yongsun saddled up right next to her. 

"We are Moon and Sun," Yongsun said into the camera, "I'm the sun so my name is Solar." Instantaneously embarrassed, Yongsun hid her face against the slips of paper in her hand and left Byul to conclude her answer,

"I would like to do a subunit with Solar unnie." The dopey spread of their grins reached back to their other members when Byul added, "Moon and -- "

"Sunrise!" Yongsun added. Hyejin shook her head and laughed.

"Ok, ok, move along."

"Next, next," Wheein teasingly insisted, rubbing her hands up Yongsun's arms to quell her flustered stance, both she and Hyejin pretending they didn't notice the fact Byul and Yongsun's goofy expressions had yet to submerge even a fraction. That was going to change in less than a second, though, as the interviewer said,

"Actually that will conclude this section. Before we hear your new song, 'Piano Man,' we have a question from fans on Twitter, this one is for Moonbyul," Byul's face twitched a bit at being singled out, but Hyejin merely patted the girl's shoulder as the interviewer continued, "it says, 'Byul-unnie has a charm that anyone can love, men or women. Does she know she's becoming the next big Girl Crush?'" Byul heard a set of heels behind her take a few steps back and when she glanced over her shoulder, Yongsun gave her a half-smile before it fluttered away completely. Struck by the question, Byul was left with little else to do other than laugh and shrug.

"I leave myself in our fans' care," Byul said with a wink and a tiny salute. Immediately, Wheein screeched and Hyejin laughed while Yongsun audibly groaned. The tension from moments ago was broken as even the interviewer laughed. The girls made their way back to their assigned stools to slip their headphones on and begin the live presentation of their new song. 

The compliment had sent Byul's mind whirling, and strangely, it made her more clingy for Yongsun's attention. But apart from acknowledgment, Yongsun didn't seem interested in returning any of the skinship indicators Byul had tried giving off. As the group waited with their manager and crew by the door for their van to pull up, the group immediately going down the road for their performance on "The Show" later that evening, Byul tried taking Yongsun's hand. The older woman twitched as if electrocuted before she turned her head and through the pursing of her lips, took Byul's hand. "You startled me," Yongsun scolded, lightly squeezing Byul's hand before dropping it to pull her bag higher up her shoulder, even though there was no possibility of falling. 

"Why are you mad at me?" Byul asked, feeling vulnerable from the whiplash of the interview, first from Yongsun's prideful announcement of wanting to musically pair them together, to this weird semi-consistent state of annoyance at Byul's standard reactions with her. She wanted to get to the bottom of things before her temper made her say something she'd regret. "Did I do something?"

"No, Byul-ah," Yongsun said, "you didn't do anything. I'm not mad at you." 

"Well then why did you -- " Byul yanked her hand back, swinging it over her head in exaggeration. Yongsun's eyebrows popped up then down as she turned to Byul. Behind them, Wheein and Hyejin took a solid step back. 

"Don't be dramatic," Yongsun reprimanded, "I've got a lot on my mind. It doesn't have anything to do with you." 

"Well you're taking it out on me," Byul insisted. Wheein patted her shoulder.

"Unnies, unnies, don't, it's all right, we're all nervous about the performance." Yongsun turned around, her tone even more ferociously berating,

"I'm not nervous!"

"Woah," Hyejin interjected, sticking her finger up to Yongsun who immediately turned her ire on their maknae,

"Don't put your finger in my face!"

"Don't yell at Wheein!" Hyejin countered, "Work it out, Yong-ssi, but not on us!" Byul's face in the meantime began to soften even amidst the rise of her temper because this was and was not a typical thing to see from Yongsun in the last month. They were all stressed, but it still took a lot for Yongsun to blow her top, especially at Wheein of all people. 

The van pulled up outside as the girls' took a breath and quickly filed into the vehicle. Once they were all shuttled in there was a temporary icy climate within the cabin before Hyejin broke the silence. "The interviewer was right," Hyejin said, handing her phone back to Byul in the back seat, "apparently our Byul-ah is shaping up to be a real Girl Crush. Women especially can't seem to get enough of you."

"Really?" Byul asked, taking Hyejin's phone, her voice rising a bit at the end to indicate she found this particularly interesting as she scrolled through and read the article. "You guys, apparently there are a lot of women who connect with us. Especially, well, especially gay women. Of all kinds." Byul's gaze shifted between her other three members. The foursome looked between themselves as they absorbed this information. After several seconds, it was Wheein who said,

"That's really cool," with a huge smile on her face. "Don't you think so, Yongsun-ssi?" Yongsun glanced back at Byul's hopeful expression, the pair of them reading something inexplicable between them before Yongsun's hand extended to Wheein and with a warmth absent from her earlier tone agreed,

"That's **amazing**. If we can reach anyone who feels different -- well, I think that speaks to what Mamamoo is about." Hyejin nodded with a smile of her own as Byul handed Hyejin her phone and then reached out to take Yongsun's other hand once it was passed off. 

"You going to be all right with sharing me with thousands of other women, Yongsun-ssi?" she teased, and immediately Yongsun pulled her hand free and began wailing it in Byul's direction. Byul brought her hands up to lightly guard against the assault as Wheein laughed at the small spat and Hyejin went back to scrolling through her phone. 

"That interview got to you. You're carrying over your greasiness," Yongsun scolded as she brandished an over the top frown and Wheein added,

"Moon-Greasy is what we should call you." Yongsun's face widened in a large "O" as Hyejin cackled. Byul had the good grace to look only mildly offended. 

"They like it. My fans like me just as I am," Yongsun's fist swung in Byul's general direction yet again.

"Then save it for them, and leave me out of it," Yongsun insisted, reaching into her bag to pull out her own phone. Byul leaned forward, wrapping a piece of Yongsun's hair behind her ear,

"Is that why you were being weird earlier? You were jealous?" Without acknowledgment or response, Yongsun slapped Byul's hand away, hard, and turned forward in her seat. "Ow," Byul muttered, though her hand barely stung. "Unnie." There was a twinge of hurt in her voice, but Yongsun didn't respond. Byul's gaze shifted to Wheein who could nothing other than shrug and sigh before turning her own attention out the window. Byul slumped against her seat as she registered the fact she had struck a chord with their leader. _Jealous? Why? I was playing . . . it's always just playing . . ._ Byul's own brow knit as she felt her temper start to bubble. Reaching into her bag she whipped out her phone and pretended to be interested in her game as they finished the rest of the drive in moderate silence, telling herself she didn't care every time she looked over to Yongsun and still had yet to see her turn once in her direction. She didn't care. Really.

\-------

"This was a bad idea," Yongsun muttered under her breath as she and Byul hauled a large clothing bag between them. The elevator was broken in their apartment building and they were forced to trudge up the stairs with their arms filled with shopping bags from their clothing and grocery excursion. Each arm was loaded and between them was a bag that probably weighed twenty pounds filled with boxes and cans. The only way they could think to get it up the stairs was to share the load. Byul leaned against the wall, nearly knocking her arm as she agreed,

"Of course it was a bad idea but what else were we going to do?" Yongsun groaned as they trudged up the final steps to their apartment. "Sometimes all we're left with are bad ideas." They lifted together one last time, plopping the bag down at the top of the steps. Yongsun took a large step forward, skipping one of the steps as Byul accidentally nudged her.

"Don't do that!" she snapped, turning over her shoulder, "Why are you always there? Always on my right side! It's like I can't get away from you!" She turned back and climbed the rest of the way as Byul's lips thinned and pressed together between her teeth. Yongsun reached into her pocket for the apartment key as Byul's hands wrapped around the handle for the bag and she started to drag it across the concrete floor. "It'll split, what are you thinking?!" Yongsun berated, the door swinging open in front of them. 

"I don't know, Yongsun, apparently I don't ever think!" Byul hefted the bag with a large grunt and stormed into the kitchen, not stopping until the bags in her arms were splayed across the kitchen table. The pair of them shared the space with Hyejin and today Wheein was also over rehearsing some new rifts for their next appearance on "Immortal Songs." Both Byul and Yongsun could hear them behind the shut door of the single bedroom they all had to share that included one upright sofa chair and one bed they all took turns sleeping in. Byul's foot kicked the carcass of yet another dead roach on the floor as she began sorting through her bags to the sounds of Hyejin and Wheein's harmonizing voices. Yongsun slammed the front door and approached.

"That's not what I said," Yongsun snapped, setting her own bags down and trying to make eye contact with Byul to no avail. "You're purposefully misunderstanding!" Yongsun let out a long sigh when Byul didn't stop unpacking the assortment of clothes and groceries. She was stacking the canned kimchi to put in their small corner hutch when Yongsun reached over and grabbed Byul's wrist, Byul yanked her hand free and turned on her heel.

"Don't! Back off, Yong, you've put me in a really bad mood!" Reaching deep into one of the bags, Yongsun pulled out a box of frosted flakes and slammed it onto the table. 

" **I've** put **you** in a bad mood?! You've barely said anything kind to me since we left this morning!"

"That's because if I wasn't getting the cold shoulder from you then you were snipping at me for some way I was annoying you! I was just trying to be fun, playful, engage with you! We spend all of our time together now for fuck's sakes, I'm just trying to make the best out of the situation!"

"Best out of the situation?" Yongsun sounded genuinely hurt as she repeated what Byul said.

"Oh, unnie, that's not what I meant, why do you focus on words that much!"

"So what **did** you mean?" Byul's hands threw themselves into the air. Their voices were now louder than the music in the other room, which was now adjusting its volume to overhear what was going on. 

"I don't know, unnie! Ok? You're right, I don't know what I mean most of the time!" Byul gathered the kimchi cans into her arms as she crossed behind Yongsun and the table to unload them into their small cabinet hutch, an antique gift her brother had given her so she would feel like she had a place to put a few of her things. She'd decided instead to share the storage space with her sisters. Not that anyone had said thank you. 

"Why do you do that?" Yongsun asked, her voice frigid but several decibels lower than it had been moments ago. 

"Do what?" Byul asked, not even bothering to turn around. "What is it you're **actually** angry with me about Yongsun? Tell me so we can get it out of the way." Yongsun crossed over to Byul, grabbing the dip of her elbow and spinning her around to face her. Luckily the younger woman had cleared her hands of any food. Yongsun slammed the cabinet door, a large cracking sound echoing next to Byul's ear. "Ah, shit, unnie!" Byul shouted, shoulder checking Yongsun as she side-stepped her, sticking her finger in her ear to clear it. Yongsun stayed in her spot, but now there were the beginnings of frustrated tears in her eyes as she turned and exclaimed,

"Why do you have to be like this?!" The bedroom door opened quietly as Hyejin and Wheein's heads appeared, checking in officially. Byul turned around and there was an extended pause as the pair stared at each other, possibly temporarily trying to read the other's mind. It worked sometimes. Yongsun crossed her arms and with a snap of watery defiance added, "You should change. You shouldn't be this way." Byul's hand lowered from where it had been resting against her neck as her spine elongated. There was something in Yongsun's tone, an indicator that was thickly tangible, something akin to a snaring plant that clutched around Byul's heart and throat. Yongsun shifted, looking away for only a moment as her lips puckered in against her teeth and then back out. Byul's fist's clutched at her side, fingernails embedding deep in the skin of her palm as it began to tremble. 

"Byul-ssi," Wheein cautioned, she and Hyejin crossing closer to them sensing what was about to happen, but Byul's vision was starting to fray at the edges. 

"I am what I am," Byul answered, her voice defiant, firm, but only for a second before her tone cracked, "Is that suddenly a problem for you? What **exactly** is so damaged about me that you think needs to be changed?" 

"Byul-ssi, she didn't say damaged, don't put words in her mouth," Hyejin countered but Yongsun took a few steps closer to Byul.

"I don't need you to defend me, Hyejin-ah," Yongsun insisted, "she -- she knows how confusing she can be!" Yongsun and Byul were now only a few inches from each other, eyes locked as their minds vied for the subtext beneath what was and wasn't being said. It was a language Byul heard very clearly in her head for the first time and the first barb from Yongsun's lips from moments before, on the steps where Yongsun asked why she "always had to be on her right side" cut through to her now like a Ginsu. They were always together. Yongsun's hand always extending to her right where she knew Byul always was. Byul had thought it was what Yongsun wanted, she was constantly clinging whether there were cameras or not, never performative, always sincere. What about that was confusing? Byul thought she had been crystal clear. Yongsun on the other hand?

"And you aren't?" Byul asked, barely above a biting whisper. A challenge. One that Yongsun answered by opening up the cereal box and tossing the entire top of the cereal contents into Byul's face. 

"Woah!" Wheein yelled, but Byul yanked the box from Yongsun's grasp and did the exact same to her. Yongsun, anticipating Byul's reaction, closed her eyes and turned her head giving Byul the opportunity to encroach on her space, pressing her forehead against Yongsun's. Both women were breathing hard, the pressure against the other's forehead the only physical indication the fight had now switched from verbal to physical. Hyejin grabbed the box out of Byul's hands and before either of them could grab the other, Hyejin's arms were around Byul and Wheein's were around Yongsun. In pulling them apart, Byul grunted loudly in Yongsun's direction as Yongsun's leg lifted, kicking in Byul's direction. 

"That's it," Hyejin said, half-pulling, half-dragging Byul across the room as the pair snorted and panted in protest, "Wheein and I have work to do. You two need to work it out." Hyejin shoved Byul into the bedroom, Wheein following suit with Yongsun. Both of them crumpled onto the small twin mattress, fuming, as Wheein added,

"We're turning our track up, and by the time we're done practicing we want our friends back to normal. Got it?" Wheein closed the door, and seconds later loud instrumentation was playing from the living room. 

Byul was the first to stand, crossing away from the bed, grumbling to the door, "Who do they think they are? We're older than them! They shouldn't treat us that way." 

"They're just trying to help," Yongsun whispered. Byul turned and saw Yongsun sitting on the edge of the bed, legs and arms crossed, eyes set on the floor. "It's not their fault we don't know how to talk to each other without fighting." Byul's tongue clicked as her gaze bounced off the various angles of the bedroom's bare walls.

"We're too alike," Byul muttered. And perhaps she was right, but Yongsun didn't like the implication any which way and it was enough to re-light the spark from earlier.

"Why do you always say stuff like that?" she asked, getting to her feet, and against Byul's oncoming expression shifted her own to one of perplexed defense.

"Like what? You don't think it's true?" 

"There's a big difference between us and it drives me up the wall! You never say what you mean, you always bottle shit up until we're here, and it's not just me. It's with anyone! With teachers, with CEO, with the maknaes, you just -- you worry me. I'm worried you're going to keep so much inside until one day you're going to explode and then where does that leave me? What pieces do you leave for me to clean up if something happens to you? Don't you care what that would do to me? Don't you care that -- " 

Yongsun never got to finish her sentence because it had been stopped in her tracks by Byul's lips on hers. It was just a press, quick but full, moreover, it was an entire beat before Yongsun backed away. Her eyes had been open the whole time so she watched as Byul's slowly re-opened. _What have you done?_ Yongsun thought beneath the swirling confusion clouding up in her mind. 

Time had frozen Yongsun into a state of shock and Byul into a state of panic. And what happened when Byul got nervous? "One less thing to keep inside?" she joked. Byul took a step back, on the verge of crying as Yongsun's unchanged expression began to make her system race, and it reflected in her fidgeting expression. "Unnie, say something," she begged a smile teetering on her lips but quickly evaporating as Yongun's eyes darted and landed at certain points in the room as if she were searching for something specific. Byul's hands shoved into her back pockets as she stared up at the ceiling. "Shit," she muttered, "shit shit shit, why did I do that?" Her eyes closed as she licked her lips, immediately regretting saying that out loud. She shook her head and lowered it, preparing the inevitable apology to take back what just happened, "Unnie, I -- " but this time she was also cut off by a pair of lips against her own. 

Only this time they lingered, massaged against the paired pressure. Byul's hand reached out and cupped Yongsun's cheek. They were both trembling. It was that quiet quaking that pulled them apart as they stared into one another's eyes looking for the right words, hoping they could find them in the other person. When they couldn't, Yongsun said the only thing that sounded acceptable in the moment: "We shouldn't have done that," in a regretful whisper that sounded unconvinced of the sentiment. 

"No?" Byul asked, her gaze flicking down to Yongsun's lips and back up to her large brown eyes. Yongsun's eye-line however remained firmly planted on Byul's lips, her breath hitching in her chest so high that she inhaled a gasp that morphed into a crack of tears. Yongsun's hands immediately covered her eyes, as she was prone to do when her emotions felt truly and uncontrollably vulnerable. Immediately Byul wrapped her arms around Yongsun's shoulders and squeezed. "It's all right, unnie. It's all right. We're all right. It -- it doesn't have to mean anything if you don't want it to. You're safe. I promise I'll always make sure you're safe. Please . . . please don't cry." But she held Yongsun anyway until the tears passed, swallowing her own down until she was certain Yongsun would only be met with a dry smile. 

"It can't mean anything," Yongsun insisted mournfully, and unlike her first verbal reaction to their kiss, Byul had a feeling this was far more serious. And necessary. Byul shook her head.

"Then it doesn't." The color drained out of Yongsun's cheeks as she nodded, stepping out of Byul's arms and wrapping her arms around her shoulders in a crude replacement of Byul's embrace. Byul mirrored her. 

"All right," Yongsun confirmed, nodding this decision into existence. "We're all right?" Yongsun's head raised, but her eye-line skipped to and from Byul's line of sight. Byul's finger traced down Yongsun's cheek. 

"We're always all right," she reassured, "I'm going to go for a walk. I -- I think I need to clear my head." Yongsun looked somewhat wounded at the suggestion but only for a moment. 

"Whatever you need to do." Byul didn't bother offering up another platitude to ease the ice-pick prick pain between them. Instead, she crossed to the door and opened it, leaving it wide for Yongsun to decide whatever she needed to do next. Seconds later the front door opened and shut.

Hyejin and Wheein poked their heads in and upon seeing Yongsun standing there with tears streaming down her face, they decided to step back out of the room only for Wheein to call out to her,

"I'm making kimchi fried rice for dinner. Let me know when you're hungry."

*********

A few days later it seemed like everything had gotten back to normal. The promotions for "Piano Man" ended and CEO-oppas were excited about a collaboration for their next album. Mamamoo continued to play for any audience that would have them, finding more and more fans along the way even in the sea of critics who didn't know what to make of them in a largely unified visual world. Mamamoo was different, and the members knew that in more ways than one. Different was all right with Yongsun to a degree, but what she and Byul had unearthed? That -- that could be deadly. What did it matter that every time Byul made a greasy joke and she laughed harder than she had all day if they weren't allowed to see their dreams to fruition? What sort of life could they even have if there was more to the kiss they shared than just a moment's appeasement of curiosity? It was too much. 

And Byul seemed to agree, not bringing the moment up again apart from the following day where she had checked in with Yongsun after spending the night at her brother's house. It had been Byul's words after all that had cemented their decision: "There are bigger things than us when it comes to who we want to be in this life," Byul had said, "and no matter what we feel, if there's anything to feel, it doesn't have to be bigger than Mamamoo." Yongsun had been shocked at Byul's response and thought about trying to tease her to ease the tension but Byul's followed solemn confession had taken the desire right out of her sails: "I will try to work on saying what I mean when I mean it. It's not bad for people to change."

It was all so confusing, this thing with Byul, whatever it was. What wasn't confusing was how much they loved performing, how much they loved their work even when it was hard, and even when there were stern words or tears. That was where they were a unit. Yongsun was proud of them for admitting that. Even if she missed Byul sleeping beside her at night, opting to take the large chair from now on to keep things from being even more confusing. Even if they caught each other staring and didn't look away, even in public. Even if they knew that lies could only shape a future for so long. 

Even if . . .


	2. Um Oh Ah Yeh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yes I will approach you, my taste is ace  
> I'll follow my instincts, won't hide me  
> Today is different, approach first  
> The steps are provocative, the tone is charming  
> Your eyes looking at me  
> Help me do you have some time, please help me  
> Because of that, my five senses are arbitrary."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! A few things: this will likely be my last "Notes" before the chapter mostly because I want to address a few things before going forward. First, thank you all so SO much for reading the first chapter, I'm so jazzed you guys are liking this story, it means the world to me to hear that you are. Second, I estimate this chapter's length to be the standard, somewhere between 10-40,000 words going forward, so that's another reason it will be somewhere between 2-6 weeks between updates. Third, from this chapter onward this story will earn it's "M" rating so just be aware! Finally, it will be my wife and I's 10 year anniversary on the 13th of this month (F/F -- no "Y" chromosome here), so I want to plug HER fanfic: It Started With A Spider by ItFeelSoWrite, it's not a Mamamoo fic but if you enjoy Dreamcatcher (which if you're a MooMoo you absolutely should love Dreamcatcher) and writers better than myself please head over to her page and check it out; it's shaping up to be incredible and I'm honestly a huge fan of the work. All right, remember to smack that Kudos button like Solar smacks MoonByul when she's greasy if you haven't already! Enjoy!

"If you and tteokbokki were drowning in a lake, I would save the tteokbokki," Yongsun declared with a contented groan as she stuck another piece of the sauce covered rice cake into her mouth. A retort of "ha, ha" echoed across the bare living room followed by the loud rip of Byul tearing open the contents of yet another cardboard box. 

"You would save tteokbokki over your firstborn child," Byul commented as she stared down at yet another stack of kitchen utensils. _That's why it was so heavy_. With an audible grunt, she lifted the box and carried it into the small kitchen nook of Yongsun's new apartment. They had been at it all morning, Yongsun moving into her apartment with Byul's help while Hyejin did the same with Wheein a few miles away. Byul's apartment was just a few buildings over from Yongsun's, the pair never stating aloud but managing to communicate they didn't want to live too far from one another. 

At the moment, Yongsun was taking her lunch break, insisting tteokbokki was best when eaten piping hot. Byul reminded her that was never a problem with canned kimchi. "I'm not even sure if I want to have children," Yongsun disclosed off-hand. A weighted pause landed in the air from Byul setting the box down on the counter and then abruptly nothing. "What about you? Do you ever picture yourself having children?" The clanking of metal on the counter emerged.

"I like kids a lot," Byul confirmed. Another pause before Byul added quietly, "I'm hoping to be married by the time I'm twenty-seven." Yongsun squished her chopsticks into the cardboard box, turning around from where she was propped on one of the barstools to watch Byul unpack the utensils. She was putting everything in the wrong place, it would take Yongsun ages to resort everything, but her irritation over the fact was stilled by Byul's confession, better exhumed with her back to the woman she hadn't even tried to kiss since the first time. "Or -- something like it." Byul peered over her shoulder, and Yongsun, suddenly restless at the look in the younger woman's eyes, left her rice cakes to get cold and after taking the whisk from Byul's hands, opened the drawer beside her.

"Baking utensils in the drawer," Yongsun informed as she reached into the box and removed what was left. "Here, put that in that cabinet up there," she commanded, Byul nodding and doing as she was told. "You're in an obedient mood today." Byul smiled.

"My mind's been running a mile a minute since CEO oppa told me I could help with the title track. That's going to be a bigger pay stamp for sure." Byul stood on tip-toes, placing something on top of the cabinets.

"Aww-AH!" Yongsun whined, stamping her foot, "Why would you put that up there? You know I won't be able to reach it!" Byul's torso relaxed as she tossed Yongsun a smile.

"Now I have a reason to always come over." Byul clipped her index finger across the bottom part of Yongsun's chin. The younger girl had moments before Yongsun's hand came flying, and she grabbed the box, shielding her head for protection. "Go back to your tteokbokki before the cheese curdles!" Byul cried as she charged back into the living room. 

A few hours later the furniture had arrived and Yongsun and Byul were taking a break, reclined across the sofa from parallel positions. It had taken Byul over an hour to get Yongsun's television hooked up and all they could get were local channels. There was an old American movie on which was only being given a modicum of their attention, the large portions of the rest spent trying to touch without cuddling. Eventually, they were settled with Byul's legs splayed out in one direction, and Yongsun's crossing over Byul's in the other. One pair of feet was far enough away to look harmless, but the other hidden by their thighs were rubbing and massaging against each other. That's the way time and shared space had played out for days on end now -- almosts in the dark. Now it happened so frequently, this seemingly meaningless physical affection, that it was starting to become inherent and natural. Neither of them was sure if that were a good or bad thing, and they were in equal parts standstill on whether to discuss it at all. The movie's heroine had fallen in love but to be around him had to dress like a man, earning the unwanted affection of his sister. Watching the scene play out, Byul's head tilted to the side. "Huh," she muttered.

"What?" Yongsun asked, looking up from her phone screen and seeing Byul's hand paused mid-pencil stroke in the newly purchased notebook her sister had given her for her birthday. Byul untangled her legs from Yongsun's and crossing into the leader's bedroom where she had set up her singer's keyboard. Byul turned the tiny instrument on and started to peter through clusters of notes. Yongsun's peaked interest brought her into the bedroom. "Oh?" She glanced back at the television and then at her friend -- her best friend -- finger's twisting and moving across the plastic keys first with vigor and then her head and hand bobbing back up in a pause of thought. "What's that?"

"I'm not sure yet," Byul muttered, "I just -- I thought -- hm." Her mind was chasing something in the ether that had tickled her attention, pricking the hairs on the back of her neck. This was always the exciting and frustrating part of the creative process for her, mostly because her patience was about as long as a hamster's tail, but maybe with Yongsun she could -- "What if we did a comedy number for our next title track?" Yongsun's brows furrowed but a smile peaked out of the corners of her lips. 

"Go on," she encouraged, grabbing a nearby chair and settling beside Byul on the piano bench. 

"Well, what if the story was -- a girl falls in love. But it's not with a guy. I mean she thinks it is but -- it's a girl, she just dresses differently, acts differently, so this other girl gets confused. No, more than confused, she outright -- hmm." Byul's focus returned to the piano as she pressed more notes, closing her eyes and trying to match words to what her fingers were running over. "It's getting hot without seeing -- I fall for you and you're not behaving?" Peering out of the corner of her re-opened eye she saw Yongun's nose turn up as Byul giggled. "Not very good is it." Yongsun smiled softly as her gaze shifted to the floor and her top teeth raked the outer dip of her bottom lip.

"It's not that. It's just -- " Yongsun cleared her throat, " -- do you think we could get everyone to go for a song like this?" Byul nodded, sensing what Yongsun was eluding to but rather than meet the indication, her eyes grew and she clapped her hands together.

"I'm going to call Hyejin, get her in on this!" Byul shot up from her seat to grab her phone from her back pocket as Yongsun groaned and shifted onto the piano bench. She played a few keys while Byul got Hyejin on the phone and caught her up. "Hm," she muttered, "Uh -- Um . . . " Byul hushed all of a sudden and migrated back to the piano.

"Unnie, play that again." Yongsun stuttered, making a face as she tried to remember the sense in the cacophony of notes she had just played. When her fingers trailed further now the scale, Byul shook her head and corrected, "No, higher," she put her phone on speaker so Hyejin could hear. "Bah-dah," Byul sang back in a breathy head voice, and immediately Yongsun matched Byul's sung pitch. 

"Oh yes," Hyejin's voice said through the phone's speaker. Yongsun put those words to pitch and sang:

"Oh yes," and Byul nodded and added,

"What about three notes in a row, all the same, like the girl is trying to figure out what to say." 

"Four," Hyejin amended, "makes the counts clearer." Yongsun played the first two notes again.

"Oh yes," then followed it up with a repeat of their second pitch four more times. "I - uh - well - yes?" Byul shook her head.

"What about um-oh-ah-yeh, that way it circles back to the first part of the sentence." Yongsun's smile grew and she laughed as she played the full phrase.

"It's a small start, unnies," Hyejin said, "my chili crab is here. I must leave you," and the line went dead. Byul's smile was huge, and Yongsun internally admitted she loved how bright it made the younger woman's face look. And now that the bangs were gone, her face highlighted with a soft brassy blonde dye job, there was more of her to admire. 

"Unnie?" Byul asked, noticing that Yongsun was staring. In the midst of her flustered state, Yongsun stood from the piano and crossed away back into the living room, and resumed her position on the couch. 

"I don't know," she muttered before picking up the remote and turning the channel, landing on the local news for lack of anything else. Byul stepped into the apex where the hallway met the brim of the living room, head tilted in such a charming way that Yongsun's eyes were almost drawn back to her, but she willfully kept her gaze forward. There was a quiet relief when Byul's hand touched the outside of her thigh from where she had returned beside her.

"What don't you know?" she asked. "About the song?" Nothing. "You started it you know," she teased, but Yongsun's eyes only turned to Byul's after a pregnant beat, "You came up with the first little tune, snatching it out of the universe." Yongsun continued to stare so Byul continued to talk. "I mean so was I, that's how it happens, just ideas." Then a thought struck her and her hand pulled away from Yongsun's leg. Both women immediately, quietly felt the absence of the touch. "Is that it? The concept bothers you?" Yongun's gaze returned to the television as she muttered,

"It doesn't bother me. At all," she said very matter-of-factly, "it's just -- is it **wise**?" Byul couldn't derail Yongsun's allusions a second time and wanted to jump the gun in defense but some little cork stopped an immediate reaction from tumbling out of her mouth, and as a result? Yongsun followed up her worrying question with, "But if we start putting a block on inspiration now then we'll only be hurting ourselves in the long run." Yongsun's hand extended to and gently took Byul's. "I don't want to ever be the reason you feel restrained." Byul's eyebrows puckered together briefly as she smiled and when there was no shift in any direction -- any other one apart from the impending possibility of something bigger, something further -- Yongsun's hand came up and swatted at Byul's shoulder. "Besides it beats the hell out of doing more swing and jazz. It's 2015 for fuck's sake. I like being able to show off my pipe power as much as the next singer, but do we have to resurrect every era before we get to something written in this century?" Byul's smile and chuckle were quiet but warm. Yongsun could feel the blood pooling in her cheeks so she swatted Byul again. "Good luck selling the idea to CEO oppa by the way. And if this thing goes to music video? I refuse to be the one wearing the suit and tie." 

Byul's hand came up and brushed away imaginary bangs. "I bet I won't look half bad with whiskers." Yongsun's nose crinkled and they both laughed. 

*************

There wasn't so much as hard sell as there was an exchange. Byul and Hyejin had brought the idea to their songwriters and both CEOs decided that if they wanted the newly completed and penned "Um Oh Ah Yeh" to be their new title track, there was going to be one last retro collaboration. The girls went into record their verses on the new track "Aah! Oop!" to be featured on their next album, "Pink Funky," and within a week it was composited and compiled: long 50s wigs, mini skirts, bright colors, and all. Yongsun caught Byul staring at the bright eyeliner and lipstick colors more than once, but the rapper was quick to pass each disjointed look with a wink whenever she was caught and commenting, "At least I'm not the one in the wig," whenever Hyejin passed in her ultra-long, thick golden ponytail.

"Not yet," Hyejin reminded her and the pair would return to sculpting their future alter-ego characters. 

Privately, Byul batted ideas to Yongsun who would ask why it was important to get her feedback. "It's gotta be love at first sight for you," Byul would tease, her tone greasy, "so it's important to know what look will get you all hot." It was harder to run away from Yongsun's swinging fists in those heels. _Dress shoes for the next video, definitely. Flat dress shoes. I'm gonna have miles to run before I rest_. Byul thought. 

CEOs Do-hoon and Jim-Woo informed the girls they were going to have to **promo** the song as well so the company could get it's money's worth, and even though it was apparent the girls were chomping at the bit to do something different, they presented big public smiles and grateful faces and just reminded themselves this move was a transaction: in the industry, everyone paid their dues. 

  
\--------------------

The three members traipsed down the hallway of the studio as Yongsun texted Hyejin asking where she was. Just before the trio stepped through the make-up room door, Yongsun stopped in her tracks and groaned. "Why is she like this?" Yongsun turned the phone out so the other two could see the picture Hyejin had sent: her feet in the bathroom stall. Wheein shrugged.

"At least she's in the building?" Wheein reassured as they walked into the room. Yongsun slumped into the makeup chair since she was first in the rotation today. Wheein beside her, meanwhile, was immediately attacked by two hairdressers brushing her hair back into a hairnet while Byul splayed herself out on the couch, phone in hand and notebook in her lap, scribbling every few minutes and keeping to herself for a rare change until Hyejin stepped into the room. 

The maknae expected to be scolded but Yongsun had already finished her turn in the chair and Hyejin was her immediate replacement. "Do you want me to go down with you to Wardrobe?" Byul asked as Yongsun passed her, but the make-up artist quickly scolded her not to move, Wheein would be done in ten minutes. Byul gave Yongsun a pitiable shrug as Yongsun exited into the hallway and turned a few corners, passing several people she didn't know, but bowing to and greeting each. She was very excited for this fitting, finally getting a small opportunity to in this video to show off what she had learned in flight training. 

Once her attendant uniform was pinned and whisked away for its final alterations, the costumer handed Yongsun her first outfit for the shoot, a simple black dress, and followed the other costume out of the room to begin. As Yongsun stepped behind the nearby partition, two male voices she didn't recognize accompanied CEO Do-hoon's. "I still say this concept is a mistake. It's too off-brand, you don't take such severe risks when a girl group, especially, is in its rookie stage," the unfamiliar voice griped. _He sounds fat_ , Yongsun thought to herself. In spite of the fact she knew she should probably make herself known, some instinct that felt very similar to her Leader compulsion kept her quiet. The collar of the dress crinkled between her fingers as another man concurred,

"It's too weird. Too suggestive. People won't respond well and then where will you be? You'll be looking for a new girl group before the numbers hit the billboard, and I don't like associating with bad investments." Yongsun kept waiting for CEO oppa to defend them but was both surprised and hurt when she heard,

"If the video doesn't come out, we'll bury it. Better to postpone a comeback than to produce something that makes us look bad. Jim-Woo agrees with me. So, what do you think of the new camera components?" Yongsun clutched the dress to her chest, willing her tears to stay down or at the very least silent until the bellyachers collected what they came for and left. Once she heard the door shut she flung the costume over the partition and stepped out to find a tissue box. 

"Unnie?" came a knock at the door. Yongsun's eyes met Wheein's in the mirror, the only thing letting her know it was in fact Wheein. Their Ace's face was now encased in a prosthetic that covered nearly the entirety of her face. Yongsun's flabbergasted expression bled into amusement, her hands covering her mouth and she spun around with a smile in her eyes. "Unnie, you're crying," Wheein said, but with lips thicker than her own and Yongsun released a peal of high-pitched laughter. Wheein smiled through her concern. "What happened? Why are you standing in the middle of the room in your underwear? You need to get dressed."

"You look like a mushroom," Yongsun asserted as Wheein escorted her behind the partition. Once Yongsun returned to the spot where she had overheard such baleful comments, her smile wavered then disappeared as she stared at the tight black dress. "They went to start sewing up the attendant's gown. They told me Director oppa wanted to film the hallway scene first." Yongsun's expression neutralized as she continued to absorb the unfair criticism that had barbed its way into her ears. 

Wheein picked up the dress, unzipped it, and then held it open on the floor. "Here, unnie, step in for me." Yongsun smiled down at Wheein's gentle expression, tapering her fingers against Wheein's shoulders. Once the dress was up, Wheein began connecting the buttons and tried once again, "You were crying when I came in."

"It's not anything to worry about," Yongsun insisted as she fixed the lace around the lining of her chest more firmly against her skin.

"I'm not worried about what it is, just you," Wheein insisted, closing the final button before zipping up the small internal zipper at the hem of the bodice. 

Yongsun deliberated on Wheein's kind suggestion, hearing the predilection in the younger woman's voice, but coated above the insinuation to expel was Yongsun's pride. She was embarrassed she had been seen crying, seeing as how she felt it was her responsibility to shoulder the group's troubles. What good would it do to tell Wheein what she had overheard when she herself wasn't even supposed to know of the safe hanging above their heads? That wasn't a maknae's job, not in Yongsun's book. So, Yongsun turned and patted Wheein on the shoulder asking, "So, does all that make-up itch?" Wheein's eyes grew.

"It didn't until you said something!" she cried, her voice rising as she fanned her cheeks. Yongsun giggled, taking Wheein's arm at the crook and said,

"A gentleman accompanies a lady wherever she goes." Wheein and Yongsun stepped back out into the dressing room, Yongsun collecting her things on the make-up counter before rejoining Wheein in the hallway.

"If you know any ladies I will be happy to escort them to set," Wheein commented, sticking her arm out for Yongsun none the less as the leader turned the light off and shut the door behind them.

"This bitch," Yongsun needled as she hooked her hand into Wheein's arm and the pair walked the hallway, getting a few eyefuls from the people they passed. It made Yongsun uneasy, the mixed reactions of attention, but all of that faded away when they stepped onto the set and saw a tall young gentleman from the back with short bobbed hair, a lithe build in a snuggly tailored suit, their hand extended upward, pointing to something. She stopped dead in her tracks. She knew that hand. "Byul-ah?!" she exclaimed, dropping Wheein's arm and closing the distance between herself and Byul. The last few steps, the toe of her heel kicked a chord that nearly sent her toppling. 

Luckily she was already close enough that Byul was able to easily reach out and catch her in a dip. "Unnie, are you all right?" Byul asked. The hair of the wig clung demurely around her angled jawline, her make-up was minimalized in such a way that her soft feminine features appeared more masculine, especially in the studio's half-light. Yongsun's arms wrapped around Byul's shoulders as the pair subconsciously held the strangely comfortable pose, they remained unmoved until the director turned around and burst out laughing.

"That's good girls, teach Ricky here how to do that!" Yongsun shook her head, her wide eyes previously remaining on Byul's face until she asked,

"Who the hell is Ricky?" Byul lifted Yongsun to her feet and took a good step back, and before Yongsun could voice her thoughts on Byul's new look, Hyejin stepped into view, easily more recognizable than Wheein even in with the chin prosthetic, but walking with a swagger that was reminiscent of Elvis himself. The leather jacket, pants, and black swarthy wig only helped sell the illusion further.

"That's me, baby," Hyejin boasted, slipping on a pair of dark aviators, "the man of your dreams."

"More like nightmares," Byul corrected, making the foursome laugh. 

" **This** bitch," Hyejin whispered, knowing they weren't supposed to swear around other people, but knowing it would get the biggest reaction out of the group. And she succeeded as Yongsun's hands flew to Hyejin's mouth and the group laughed harder. "Don't unnie," Hyejin insisted, pushing Yongsun away, "you'll smoosh my chin." Wheein was barely holding it together.

"You'll make my make-up crack. Smoosh her again," Wheein urged. Yongsun didn't have a chance to follow through with Wheein's request as the director finally called,

"Mamamoo on set! Stand by for shot!" The four-person pack crossed the small distance from the dark background of the staging area into the lit part of the erected hallway set. Yongsun noticed how much taller Byul walked, but quickly figured it was just something she was trying out for the character. Byul caught her staring, however, and leaned over to ask,

"Are you nervous about having to make heart eyes at me?" There was a friskiness in her tone, but also an air of confidence that deflated any possible teasing from Yongsun's response as she swiped a prop and knocked it against Byul's shoulder,

"Don't project, oppa," Yongsun said in a register that made Byul halt in her tracks. The rapper cleared her throat, ticking her head briefly to the side, as she strolled to the prop table and collected the newspaper she would be using in the scene. Yongsun's front right canine grazed her bottom lip in victory. Wheein and Hyejin behind them groaned.

"This is what this shoot is gonna be like, huh?" Hyejin commented, stepping off to the side as Wheein saddled up onto the slightly stocked luggage cart, "Yong-ssi and Byul-ssi trying to top each other?" Wheein bit into her prop sandwich to keep from laughing, Hyejin's voice only carrying to her. Byul and Yongsun's attention shifted to them for a moment before the director approached to break down the scene.

A few minutes later playback was rolling and the scene was underway. Wheein dug into her sandwich while "Yul" turned the corner, Yongsun advancing from the opposite direction. "Freeze!" the director called and Byul and Yongsun did just that. While the crew re-arranged the cameras, Yongsun pulled a face one right after the other until Byul was forced to break character. "I said hold it!" the director barked, immediately Yongsun tried to re-focus only to have Byul start making faces as well. Wheein in the not too far off distance was chuckling as the camera near Yongsun's head started to roll. "And action!" the director commanded and in one take, Yongsun and Byul passed each other, eyes locked in hard observation with every step. When "Yul's" attention lured "Solar" into a one-eighty spin, the secondary camera started rolling to capture her expression, one that Yongsun purposefully presented as over the top while "Yul" disappeared from frame. "Cut! Good, next!" the director announced.

Yongsun swallowed, hard. Her pulse was suddenly brisk, and when Byul wrapped her arm around her shoulder to drag her off to the next part of the set, muttering in her ear, "Tomorrow, I think you should try dragging me onto the bed," a spray of hot electricity raced up her spine. She shoved Byul away, her following laughter high-pitched and a little too loud. 

Yongsun changed into her flight attendant's uniform while the others waited on set. When she ran back, knowing she was holding them up, she very nearly tripped once again at seeing Byul lounging in her assigned "airline seat" beside Wheein, her body language so open and cool that for a moment Yongsun forgot who Byul was pretending to be, and it was like she was in high school again, walking into class and seeing Choi Hyojong just casually reclining in his seat at his desk with his jacket open and tie loosened, a lot like Byul looked now. The dichotomy was enticing, and it took a great shock, like Hyejin grabbing her from behind and pretending to dip her that through her off-guard enough to fling her back into reality. "I can't get a good enough hold on you, unnie, it's the heels!" Hyejin complained. Byul hopped to her feet.

"No, no it's not that, look," Byul's arm immediately enveloped Yongsun's waist as Yongsun's arm settled instinctively across Byul's shoulders. A popping shift in Byul's hips dipped Yongsun's torso back a few inches and the pair held the pose as Byul's opposite arm extended, and their eyes locked. Byul beamed.

"Do that!" the director instructed to Hyejin.

Seconds later, Byul was dodging Yongsun's loose fists against her chest, shoving her away to the sounds of filtered laughter so she could practice with "Ricky." Not one to be outdone, Hyejin leaned into Yongsun's ear and said, "What if we pushed this further, unnie, what do you say? Do you trust me?" Yongsun chuckled nervously.

"Should I?" before the director urged everyone to get into place, "Worst case scenario it doesn't make the video. Do your damndest." Yongsun's heels clicked quickly as she trotted to the back of the set, grabbing the tray of drinks she was to enter with, careful to remember her balancing practice as the cameras began to roll. 

As the shot unfolded, Yongsun and Hyejin turned the rambunctious scene up to eleven. When Yongsun felt the beat change in the music, she grabbed onto Hyejin's jacket, taking the maknae to the ground with her, "Ricky" pretending to kiss her all the way to the floor and even for a few minutes after. "Cut, cut, cut!" the director cried with laughter in his voice, "Good, great, next shot!" Hyejin helped Yongsun to her feet, Byul peering up at them with wide eyes and an impressed smile.

"Someone is having fun," she complimented, long fingers reaching out and poking Yongsun in the ribs. Yongsun swatted her away, only to grab onto Byul's hand and hold it, turning it over and over again as neither one moved. 

The moment elongated between them even though surrounding movement clocked it as only a few seconds, but it was enough for Yongsun. It sparked a flame that traversed along every nerve in her body in the span of a blink, something Big calling her to act against every logical component in her otherwise self-composed form. And for just a few minutes, couldn't she succumb to it? Especially with someone she trusted so well to keep her from concaving? When the director said that they had to re-set some of the lights and it would be twenty minutes, Yongsun yanked Byul to her feet, and leaning in close asked, "Come with me?" Byul could do little more than nod and do her best not to run after Yongsun as they attempted to casually exit the studio room. As soon as the dressing room door was shut behind them, Yongsun took a look around and upon seeing the space empty, locked them in.

"Yong, what are you -- " Byul didn't have the opportunity to say much else because a few seconds later, Yongsun was dragging her into the cramped space of the wardrobe closet that was separated from the main room by a small sliding door, difficult to open and close. In her haste, Yongsun nearly broke the door once the pair were inside and then Byul caught on. "Oh," she muttered, an exhale of a revelation that brought a huge smile to her face. She stripped off her blazer and laid it over the top of one of the nearby dressing bars so by the time Yongsun turned around, her arms were open and ready for the woman to fill them. As soon as Byul's fingertips touched the fabric of Yongsun's dress their lips pressed together hungrily. 

Unlike their first kiss, there was an immediate desire to explore, their heads turning slowly as the muscles of their locked lips massaged first the top then the bottom lip of the other to see which way they fit together and what sort of pressure each personally preferred, Byul pressing Yongsun impossibly close against her and still it wasn't close enough. Yongsun's arms framed Byul's shoulders as a shift in weight had Byul turning Yongsun until the leader's back was against the far wall, Yongsun moaning into Byul's mouth, the sound burning Byul's ears a bright red. "You're going to have to redo your lipstick," Byul joked, only for Yongsun to answer with nothing more than an "mhm," before drawing Byul into a kiss and shoving her tongue into her mouth. That was sure to stop her from saying anything more. Like stupid obvious statements about make-up. 

Yongsun was amazed at how good it all felt, how easily their bodies fit together, and how willing and continuous Byul's kisses were as if she had just been waiting for this gunshot of a move from Yongsun in order to do this, **all** of this. There was a small shelf nearby that had a few swatches of fabric lining it. Out of the corner of her eye, Yongsun decided she was small enough to fit on the little ledge and a swipe of her hand brought the pieces to the ground. Grabbing Byul by the open collar of her shirt, which Yongsun had managed to unbutton to no protestations, she dragged them back until she was close enough to hop up on the small ledge. They both giggled as Yongsun's ass plopped down with a thud, but that quickly faded away when Yongsun's legs ensnared Byul's waist. Byul shivered, her hands running up and down Yongsun's waist before migrating down to grab her from behind as their kissing continued. The heat was intense, and their thirst great, but when Byul's lips traveled from the euphoric workout of Yongsun's own across the leader's soft jawline and the top part of her throat, Yongsun's hands tapped hard on Byul's shoulders.

"Wait, wait, wait," she uttered breathlessly, "Byul-ah, we -- we should stop now." Byul pulled back a little, checking in non-verbally and seeing that Yongsun had meant what she said. Byul practically trembled as she unlocked herself from Yongsun and helped the leader to her feet. She didn't let her gloating smile linger when it took Yongsun a minute to find her footing again. "I, uh, I do actually. Have to redo my lipstick. Probably um, brush my hair?" Byul's smile was soft while she nodded.

"You didn't grab the wig did you?" Byul asked, pulling her blazer from the dressing rack as they stepped out into the empty dressing room. Yongsun chuckled and lightly shook her head. Byul smoothed down the back just in case but even one glance in the mirror revealed she looked the least disheveled between them. Which was hilarious to her because inside she was a mess. "Guess I'm gonna have to wipe some off," she added as Yongsun crossed the room to her make-up bag and Byul plucked up some make-up wipes at the corner of the make-up counter. The pair repaired their visages in silence before turning to one another, both realizing it would probably be best if they exited separately, Byul going first giving Yongsun a moment to not only catch her breath but briefly relive the best kiss she'd ever gotten.

***********

The shoot continued for another four hours, the maknaes interchanging their complaints about the thickness of the prosthetics and how frequently it had to be retouched against calling out Byul and Yongsun every few seconds for locking eyes then immediately looking away with cheesy grins on their faces. "Did you two fuck in the dressing room or something?" Hyejin whispered to Byul at one point after checking to make sure there were no microphones anywhere. Byul had shoved Hyejin so hard into Wheein that the pair nearly toppled to the floor, but Byul's reflexes were still sharp and she had grabbed them both just in time. Gratefully Hyejin just laughed, yelling, "oh, oh, I see, ok," loud enough to pull Yongsun's attention. When Hyejin and Byul refused to let their leader in on their little escapade, Yongsun muttered,

"I swear the three of you act like such losers when you're herded together." Byul thought she heard a twinge of hurt in Yongsun's voice but it was short-lived as Wheein jumped to her feet and proudly proclaimed,

"Losers! We're The Loser Crew!" and flung her arms around Hyejin and Byul just as the director yelled at them to be quiet and they all devolved into hysterical laughter.

Since there was a few days time between shooting due to Park Bo-ram's inclusion for the end of the video, it meant the girls could chomp down on dinner without regret. When the crew closed things down at around seven-thirty, the girls were practically tearing their makeup off. It wasn't a wonder that the maknaes wanted to go somewhere to drink. "Guess we'll have to supervise," Byul had muttered to Yongsun as they changed out of their costumes and placed them on hangers to hand off to their dressers. 

"Is that your way of asking me out on a date, oppa?" Yongsun asked and from across the room Wheein yelled,

"No more oppa shit! That was weird six hours ago and it's weird now!"

"Byul-ssi farts enough to be an oppa," Hyejin amended, making Wheein cackle. Byul in turn made a gassy sound out of the corner of her mouth, and as a result, Yongsun's risen leg shooed the younger woman away. 

"If I don't go with you you'll end up buying them so much SoJu they won't come to work tomorrow," Yongsun chided as she crossed to the large wall mirror and started removing her make-up. A hard look revealed a slight smear at the bottom corner of her lip, something she must've missed in her post-make-out haze, and immediately the sensations of being in Byul's arms, feeling her lips against hers, her chest pressing against the rise of her own flooded back to her and she had to close her eyes and grip the counter. 

"Yongsun-ssi, are you all right?" Wheein asked. Yongsun shook her head, opened her eyes, and nodded with a smile.

"Guess I'm hungrier than I thought," she commented and sauntered over to her pile of street clothes. "This time Byul is buying!" she added to the sounds of a loud groan from the rapper but louder cheers from the maknaes.

As the foursome left the lot, they were surprised to see that just beyond the gate were a few cameras. Bursts of bright light flashed as the girls waved. "That's different," Wheein observed aloud as they piled into their van to head off to dinner. "Wonder what site they're from."

"As long as they stay on that side of the fence," Yongsun noted as the engine turned over and each of them buckled their seatbelts. Breaking with usual seating, Yongsun had slipped into the back with Byul their hidden hands interlocked the entire way to the restaurant, only separating when they had to step out again. 

Dinner was simple, and they did their best to continue on with the tradition of using dinnertime to focus on things outside work. Only this time there were so many funny moments and stories to pass along that none of them seemed to mind when the conversation reversed right back to how much fun their gender-bending day had been. "Admit it Yongsun-ssi, you're jealous you didn't get to wear pants and regular shoes today," Wheein teased as she shoveled another large piece of crab into her mouth. Yongsun chewed and swallowed her chicken before replying,

"Are you serious? I got to be taller than every last one of you! I was in peak power!"

"You looked very pretty too," Byul casually commented, plucking up a large piece of cabbage with her chopsticks, not even sparing Yongsun a glance as she spoke. As a result, the food never made it to her mouth, falling onto her plate when Yongsun gave her a small shove. Byul didn't even have to look at her to know the woman was smiling though, she could hear it in the tiny little whine she made whenever she was both flattered and embarrassed. "Almost as pretty as Wheein looked in those suspenders," she added to the echo of Yongsun's groan and Hyejin and Wheein's cackling. 

Once everyone had eaten their fill, Yongsun went to the counter to pay, having swiped Byul's card before the other women went to use the restroom. Alone at the table, Hyejin lounged back in her seat, taking a few sips of the last bit of SoJu in her bottle before she kicked Wheein lightly, bringing her gaze up from her phone. "Are those two acting weirder than usual to you?" Wheein licked her lips and nodded.

"Yeah. Weirder today." The pair watched as Byul returned and lounged against the counter while Yongsun waited to sign the receipt. There was barely any space for air between them. It wasn't the first time the maknaes had seen the pair stand like that, but that was it, wasn't it? It wasn't uncommon and hadn't been for nearly two years now. "Do -- " Wheein began, pointing at them and then turning back to Hyejin to whisper, " -- do you think -- ?"

"They're like us?" Hyejin asked gleefully, "Something a little **more** than friends?" Wheein chuckled but nodded. "I don't think they even know yet," she capped off before Byul and Yongsun meandered back to the table and to the smug looks on Wheein and Hyejin's faces.

"What?" Yongsun asked. The maknaes shrugged in unison as they stepped away from the table and to the door.

"What?!" Byul echoed as they exited into the night.

**********

The last day of shooting was a whirlwind for Mamamoo, first filming the dance breaks while they awaited the end of the day to step into the prosthetics, and then shooting the very end before going back and having "Yul" and Solar do their little thing on the bed. The pair was given very little direction except when the camera would film at a distance and in close-up. When Solar sat up on her knees and pushed "Yul" back against the bed the entire crew made a rumble of noise, but all Byul saw was the smoldering look in Yongsun's -- no, **Solar's** \-- eyes. When the director called cut, Yongsun leaned forward, her arms and elbows keeping Byul pinned to the bed, a sweat-inducing fact Byul couldn't ignore nor escape, and whispered as quiet as she could manage, "Did you really think you could slam me against a wall and not get payback?" The smile that emerged on Yongsun's face as she sat up and threw her leg over Byul's waist to haul herself away kept Byul frozen and prostrate against the mattress until she could sit up without showcasing any reaction. She didn't know **what** had possessed Yongsun the last few days, but the woman was not only bold but **daring** to embrace what they had agreed they would repress rather than excavate. It left Byul reeling in mostly gratifying ways, but every few beats or so, she found it hard to think -- lost in swarms of thoughts she couldn't name. She didn't want to dig at something dangerous, but at the same time, she couldn't help inadvertently contemplating an attempt to line it all out, otherwise, she would be carrying this confusion with her for who knew how long -- the schedule they had been given for the next few months was already daunting, what possible time was there to sit down and suss out any of the mass mania in her mind? _Who needs **that**?_

The final hours of the shoot waned into dinner time and when the crew collected in a corner to gorge on the catering, Byul grabbed Yongsun's hand and asked, "Do you maybe want to go for a walk? You know, a little ways away from all -- " she waved her hand at the mass of people already piling pizza and noodles onto paper plates and bowls. They wouldn't be able to eat until later if at all so Yongsun nodded and told Byul to wait there while she grabbed her coat and informed their manager they were stepping off-set for a little while. 

As the pair stepped into the parking deck, there was a clanging echo from somewhere far away. "Did you hear that?" Yongsun asked as they made their way to the company van. Byul opened the front passenger door and looked around, but seeing nothing and hearing nothing further urged Yongsun into the seat before slipping around to the driver's side.

"I know we're not supposed to eat anything but it's so hot in that studio, I thought we could grab some fat-free frozen yogurt. We'll be nearby." 

"Feeling rebellious?" Yongsun asked as the car turned over and they drove onto the street. Byul smiled and shook her head, noticing a small red car pulling in just behind them. It passed onto the other side of the street but for some reason, she was on attentive alert and only grunted at Yongsun in response. "We could've walked there you know," Yongsun noted as Byul turned the corner, drove forward the remaining few feet, and parked the van in front of the shop. 

"So we'll leave the van here and get a nice evening stroll after we finish up tonight." Truth be told, Byul wasn't altogether sure **why** she had thought it necessary to drive to the yogurt shop except that it would definitely be an enclosed space where she and Yongsun could have some privacy, but it had acted as nothing more than transportation as they now stepped out of the vehicle and traipsed up to the shop. 

Leaving the shop with a singular small cone and back out in the night air, Byul breathed in the easiness she often felt in Yongsun's company. The leader was animatedly telling Byul about a text her sister sent her about something sweet Jjing Jjing, their family dog, had done and when Byul draped her arm around Yongsun's shoulders, she was pleasantly surprised to feel Yongsun's arm encircle her waist while she licked the yogurt in her opposite hand. "You have to help me eat this, you promised. I can't take in the sugar substitute as well as you can." Byul leaned over and lapped a large part of the yogurt into her mouth. They froze mid-step, Yongsun staring at Byul the whole time, watching Byul's tongue inhale the soft serve where her own set of lips had just been. "Don't eat all of it though," she breathlessly scolded.

Byul giggled, wiping the corner of her lips with her now disengaged hands. "If I get anything on this costume I'll be fired for sure. Kicked right out of the group, no questions," Byul teased and Yongsun plopped down on a nearby bench.

"I wish you wouldn't joke about that," she insisted, "it's not funny." Byul shrugged and rubbed her hands as she sat down beside Yongsun. "I don't see why you think it would ever happen either. Do you think I'd ever allow it?" Her voice had raised a few decibels as she turned to Byul who was so close beside her there wasn't room for a hair between them. 

The rapper reclined her arm back against the bench as she turned even tighter into Yongsun's space and before she could think of better phrasing or a more graceful segue, the combobulated factors of a week's worth of spun and twisted thoughts tumbled right out: "Do you like me better like this? Dressed like a man, does -- does it make anything easier for you?" 

Yongsun stared at Byul for several blinks before she stood and tossed the rest of the yogurt into the nearby trash bin. She sat plaintively beside Byul once again, staring forward as her folded hands rested in her lap. "All right," she began evenly, in spite of the fact Byul could tell there was an undercurrent of an edge in her tone, ready to bare itself at any moment if Byul dared to interrupt, "Let's assume for a minute I know what you're hinting at . . . it's not the wig and the blazer and slacks -- " her gaze pivoted and landed in Byul's her tone softened and lowered, "it's who you are **in** them." Byul's eyebrows knit together. "The Byul I get to see in private has been out and about on set for the last few days. It made me feel -- **possessive** \-- like . . . others were peering in on something that's usually just mine." Byul's gaze and head started to turn away from Yongsun but the leader's hand reached out and gently grabbed Byul by the chin, a snap of her fingers bringing Byul's attention rapidly back. "But I was also so overwhelmingly happy and proud, too. It's what made this shoot so much fun, so easy. Yul is pretend but . . . they let Byul know it's ok be herself. That's why I wanted to. Want to." 

Delightfully, willingly indulging Yongsun, finding no conflicted reason -- no one knew who they were, no one knew **where** they were -- Byul leaned forward and did just that. The press of Byul's kiss was met with equal fervor but only for a few moments before Yongsun's hand at Byul's shoulder once again tapped them out. "I know, I know," Byul said, "make-up. It's just -- you made me really happy," Byul said with a sincerity that nullified any potential teasing right out of Yongsun's sails. "This -- this isn't **nothing** . . . is it." It wasn't a question. Yongsun stood and shook her head, extending her hand down to Byul as she did so.

"I don't know, Byul-ah," and when Byul was beside her again, Yongsun laced their fingers together and returned Byul's arm around her shoulder, pairing her arm around the slightly taller woman's waist. They walked in companionable silence the entire way back to the set. 

************

Mamamoo lounged in the practice room, taking a break after a strenuous rehearsal when Byul checked her phone and gasped, standing from where she had been sat on the floor. "Unnie -- " she muttered, indicating Yongsun but Hyejin came to her side and read over her shoulder.

"Holy shit," she muttered into Byul's ear, looking across the room where Yongsun stood beside Wheein.

"Unnie . . . " Byul tried again, her hand raising in preparation for the continued reaction to unfold once Yongsun saw what she and Hyejin just had. Wheein jumped over to pluck the phone from Byul's hands and her mouth dropped.

"When?" Wheein asked, looking between Yongsun and Byul now, growing ever more worried at the frigid expression on Yongsun's face. The pair were staring at one another, somehow communicating in a way that rang all too familiar to Wheein and Hyejin -- a connection that was severed when Yongsun took the phone with a shaking hand from Wheein's hand and stared at the Dispatch website. 

Yongsun scrolled through the photos with stern eyes, very nearly dropping the phone in shock and fury when she landed on the one of Byul kissing her. _Those vultures. That was private. It was **f** **ucking. private**!_ She crossed to Byul and practically shoved the phone back into her hands, her jaw locked against Byul's tearful expression that begged forgiveness. "This isn't your fault," Yongsun muttered to the younger member and Byul's head bobbed back in shock.

"Not -- not my fault? But -- "

"It's mine," Yongsun's cold, suddenly raw voice replied, "I should've told you no when you asked to leave set. This is what happens when you're reckless."

"Unnie, this is **their** fault," Wheein piped in, usually the peacemaker but seeing what was devolving in front of her urged to speak up, "Dispatch is well-known as a ruthless tabloid! How were you and Byul supposed to know you were being followed?"

"We saw them outside a few days ago. They weren't far when we arrived yesterday. I should've known better," Yongsun insisted, her face softening for a moment at seeing Byul's distress growing but she averted her eyes and in doing so spied their side by side reflections in the mirror. Even in profile Byul's face ghosted pale. 

"There's two people in those photos, unnie," Hyejin said in a quiet tone, free of judgment. "CEOs will catch wind of this soon. When was it posted?"

Byul shook the stupor from her mind and wiped at the lone tear on her cheek as she read the time stamp on the article. "This morning. Early." The headline was scandalizing, blaming "Mamamoo's Solar" for having an illicit affair with some random guy. But everyone in the company would recognize the outfit -- it was definitely Byul, even though all of the photographer's shots captured them from behind or at a slight angle. Byul's face was blurry or obscured every time, the cloak of night doing a lot to distort the low-grade capture of the camera's lens. Meanwhile, it was unmistakably Kim Yongsun in every single photo.

Wheein saddled up beside Hyejin, both sets of arms crossing. "So what's the story?" the second-youngest asked, "Not the real one, obviously the -- the real one is in black and white. Color. But the one we are going to give them?" Yongsun's eyes darted from the abyss to seeing her group members in real frame, real-time. A quiet, unspoken pact passed between them, something that had been innate for a while now but was being solidified by a test. There was something about two of their members that needed to stay buried, and the two outside of this revelation were taking a stand to protect it. _It's not your secret to keep_ , Yongsun thought, but Wheein continued, "The director gave us a lot of range on improvising with the skit portions right? So you two were just rehearsing. Trying to come up with some new stuff and you didn't know you were being followed."

"That doesn't explain why we were away from the set," Byul interjected but Hyejin had an answer for that too,

"Food was on set. I know I had to go into the dressing room so I wasn't tempted to eat. The set was also hot from all the lights you guys needed the fresh air. You moved the van so we could get a walk in before we piled away for the night." 

"That's solid!" Wheein agreed, giving the group's maknae a high-five with a big smile.

"But it's not true!" Yongsun interjected, "And who says I'm going to let you tell the CEO this story anyway?"

"What's the alternative, unnie?" Hyejin asked a touch of genuine fear in her voice now. "We aren't Mamamoo without all **four** of us."

"They wouldn't fire us," Yongsun asserted, but even as she spoke she doubted it.

"Wouldn't they?" Byul asked. Yongsun's eyes softened as Byul's words from a year ago came flooding back to her. _"Whatever we feel . . . if there is anything to feel . . . it doesn't have to be bigger than Mamamoo . . ."_

"We should go talk to the CEOs before they come and find us," Yongsun decided, but as if she had spoken the wheel's turn into existence, there was a knock on the door from their manager.

"CEOs want to talk to you two," she said, pointing at Yongsun and Byul.

"We're coming too," Hyejin insisted, taking Yongsun's hand, shoving Byul's phone into a nearby purse, and walking Yongsun forward as Wheein did the same with Byul.

"You don't have to do this," Byul whispered to Wheein.

"You're a terrible liar and you stutter under pressure," Wheein finalized as the foursome stepped into the hallway and Wheein gave Byul's hand a hard squeeze.

Following a knock at the conference room door and a curt, "Come in," Mamamoo followed their manager into the room. CEOs Kim Jin-Woo, Kim Do-hoon, and even VP CFO Kim Khyung-ho were all seated behind three chairs behind the berth of a large rectangular table, all three with very stern looks on their faces that reflected against the mirrored glass of the tabletop. The members bowed respectfully, side by side, Wheein holding more firmly onto Byul's arm to prevent the girl from crumbling into full prostrate on the ground, hoping Byul would get the message that it would just make them look all the more guilty. "I am guessing by the solemn looks on your faces you four might have an idea why we asked you in here." Mamamoo lowered their eyes respectfully as Do-hoon continued, "Kim Yongsun this is a serious accusation. We don't impose a dating ban but to purposefully and recklessly make the decision to take a date out onto the town in the middle of a shooting schedule -- "

"It's me," Byul interrupted, raising her head, "the camera caught us practicing. Yongsun-ssi didn't break any rules, it's all a misunder -- "

"Quiet!" Yongsun barked, raising her head and pulling Byul's attention immediately, "How dare you interrupt him! How **dare** you dishonor me and your members by showing the CEO such disrespect!" Byul's bottom lip trembled but she turned her gaze away from Yongsun and returned it forward.

"Is this true, Kim Yongsun? Are you innocent of breaking contract rules?" CFO Khyung-ho asked.

"She is," Hyejin answered for her, dropping Yongsun's hand, "the director wanted us to come up with playful scenarios for the shoot and when dinner came, Byul and Yong were -- "

"I am disappointed," Jim-Woo broke in, "twice now your juniors, your members have both spoken for you and interrupted us. I wasn't aware that such behavior was being tolerated. Why don't you listen to your leader? Is it because she's **that** bad at her job?" Wheein, Hyejin, and Byul wore matching balking expressions, stunned into a standstill. Jim-Wood stood and sighed. "Kim Yongsun we are fining you one-third of your next payment for breach of contract as it co-ordinates with behavioral clause 5.3 that you signed in agreeance with Rainbow Bridge World entertainment in 2014. Is there anything you would like to say?" Yongsun's lips thinned as she shook her head once. "Very good. Now. If these photos really are of you and MoonByul then we have an option open to us. All four of you are scheduled to go on some broadcasts tomorrow. You will break down, to a degree, what you told us and ensure that it is understood this news outlet made a mistake." 

"As for **this** photo -- " Kim Do-hoon held up a tablet portrait of the kiss. Byul tried very hard not to visibly react but the lump in her throat had shifted into her stomach, forcing her to watch as a beautiful, important moment in her life was treated with such -- disdain. Shame flooded her so thickly she had to grip Wheein's hand harder to keep upright and stone-faced. " -- we will figure out how to address it better at a later date. For now, understand a lack of acknowledgment is the best rebuttal. Since the music video came out beautifully, according to the director and editors, and it would cost a fortune to postpone your comeback to go with another concept, we will continue on with all of that as well. In fact, play it up **more** on your stages so they know we have absolutely nothing to hide. And we don't." There was a long pause and then he placed the tablet back on the table. "You all may go."

As soon as they flooded the hallway, Byul side-stepped Hyejin and their manager, and gripped Yongsun's wrist from behind. The leader yanked her arm free as they continued to march forward. "Please don't do that," Byul begged, "Yong, please give me the chance to -- "

Yongsun stopped, Byul nearly colliding behind her. Wheein and Hyejin continued on with their manager, all three sensing some distance right now was necessary. Yongsun whipped around to Byul, wet eyes the only warmth against her hardened expression. "From now on, when we are in this building you will address me as Yongsun-ssi. Do you understand? I am your leader, your elder, you will show me the respect that is due to me. No, you know what? Better yet, call me **Solar** -ssi."

"They -- they can't really fine you for something that wasn't just **your** fault, why did you let them?" Byul asked, by-passing the deep cuts of every indicator in the reprimand she had just received, wanting to keep some part of her footing on the ledge they were balancing on. 

"These are the choices," Yongsun said, lowering her voice, "these are the consequences when you make **stupid** decisions." Byul took a step back as if she had just been slapped. Immediately, Yongsun looked aghast with herself but the damage had been done. "Byul-ah, I -- " Byul's hand came up as she took another step back and offered a bow in Yongsun's direction.

"My deepest and most regretful apologies for being such a disappointment today, Leader-nim. It won't happen again . . . Solar-ssi," she said, side-stepping Yongsun and darting off to the bathroom before the remnants of Yongsun's words could cut any deeper. Slow steps and mutters of swears were the only things that accompanied Yongsun back to the practice room. 

Byul slumped down on her bed a few hours later, phone in hand, staring at the screen, wondering what to do. Finding a GIF of two puppies roughhousing and tugging on each other's ears she sent the captured moment to Yongsun's phone and then turned the screen face down. She knew she could get up and wash her face, take care of herself, but it was harder to push motivation to their expected conclusions this evening. A few minutes later her phone vibrated and the returned message from Yongsun read, "You are never a disappointment." Bubbles. "Not to me." More bubbles that lingered for far too long then disappeared without an additional word. Byul's hand rubbed down her face but she smiled quietly and sent Yongsun another picture she had in her phone, snapped a few days ago at the park. Yongsun was holding Jjing Jjing in her lap and rubbing her nose against his. The photo had been pulled from Byul's "Favorites" folder. She then got up and crossed into the bathroom to get washed up for bed. When she returned there was a photo she hadn't seen before of Byul with Jjing Jjing, clearly taken from the same day as the first.

***********

When Yongsun piled into the van on the way to the radio station the next morning, Byul was seated in the back with an iced americano waiting for her, handing it off as soon as the leader situated herself in the cab. The foursome gossiped and giggled as if nothing had happened yesterday, creating a warm atmosphere they could continue to maintain once they were chatting with the interviewer.

He was nice enough if not a bit dodgy, and of course one of the first things he brought up directly after playing their new song was the ridiculous notion that in order to be truly famous a group needed to be involved with a scandal. Mamamoo took the baton and bait and addressed the Dispatch photos that were recently released, teasing one another about how the shoot for the music video had unfolded and how they hoped fans would look forward to their new, fun concept. The interviewer then asked "Solar" which of the three men, if any, in the video would be her type, and Byul's face turned red when "Solar" answered that of the three, obviously Yul was much more her type. Not catching the hints permeated from the polite laughter, the interviewer then decided to tease Byul about dating, saying he read in a recent interview that the other members were worried because she didn't date much, saying maybe she would enjoy dating someone she looked more like BTOB's Minhyuk. Byul artfully addressed the question by saying Minhyuk-oppa was more like a brother and definitely not someone she would date, explaining that whenever she does, she throws her whole self into a person, and the last time she had dated someone, likely because of her devout feelings and actions, it hadn't ended well.

Yongsun's attentions remained on Byul for the entirety of her answer, and very nearly the entire rest of the interview, Byul sometimes returning her attentions with a soft smile. If all they could do was look, then they would have to learn to live with that being enough.

\-----------------

Mamamoo were camped out in the Inkigayo backstage area, waiting for their turn to slip into the second part of their performance, having filmed the video edits earlier in the day. The crowds had been warm and receptive and there was the affirmation from their manager that more than a few people in the crowd were there to see Mamamoo, a stark difference from their last two comebacks. For Yongsun it did little to quell her nerves as her foot tapped lightly against the floor. Their team had arranged to do a full staging, meaning they would get camera cuts to piece together a truly memorable performance and they were currently waiting for Byul to jot back quickly from Wardrobe. When "Yul" approached Yongsun at a run, they took "Solar's" hand and leaned in as the group entered the stage, "You can just lean into me like usual if it would be easier. You don't have to do this in character." 

Yongsun nodded, aware of what Byul was insinuating, knowing the pair had kept their distance in practice, especially when there were swarms of cameras around ever since their post-Dispatch interviews, both of them unsure whether or not they had done enough to appease their CEOs warnings. But Yongsun was a professional above everything, ( _what use is the personal sacrifice if it breeds no professional success_ , she had thought more than once over the last several days), and once the track resumed and the line "when our eyes met," left her lips, "Solar's" hand clasped the back of "Yul's" neck tugging them close. The turn out in the next beat of choreography followed by a look into the camera broke whatever spark of tension passed through them but thereafter "Yul" kept more of a distance from "Solar" throughout the first part of the song. Luckily another short break occurred, Hyejin slipping into "Ricky" so Byul could dress the performed aloofness as a mode of professionalism and not avoidance -- a necessity considering even that brief bang of a moment at the top of the number was enough to engulf whatever part of her brain wasn't focused on lyrics and dance moves with jarring flashbacks of their tryst in the dressing room months ago. 

Not one kiss had happened since. And they had caught each other on several occasions staring at the other's lips.

Mamamoo continued to perform through more "Um Oh Ah Yeh" stages to great success, budding fans and netizens with passing interest alike enjoying their performances. Of course, not everyone was celebrating Mamamo's rise to fame. Plenty of critics and anti-fans had to always put their two cents in, and while there were definitely days the criticisms overwhelmed them, and even occasionally bled into their rehearsals via moments of flared tempers and sleepless nights, the group still sought out moments to recoup together. When a performance in Busan popped up on their schedules, Hyejin insisted they couldn't by-pass the chance to go to the beach. On the van ride over, the girls sipped on SoJu and started to sort through the boxes of sparklers that had bought by their team to encourage them to have a good time and be safe. Once their feet hit the sand, the loud shouts and shrieks of the well-trained quad-set of vocal cords echoed out over the ocean. Turning a camera on, Mamamoo decided they wanted to share moments of the night with their new fans. Sparklers were quickly lit and against the backdrop of parking lot lights and the echoing "sssshhhh-UH-ssssh" of the waves, each member made hearts for the camera and sweet wishes to always stay together, to win their award shows, and hopes for love.

After the first round of sparklers died out, the girls popped open a few more beers, Yongsun, of course, being very careful not to drink too much, always the lightweight. The more they drank, the more physically affectionate they all became. The avoirdupois of their worldly woes was a little lighter in the moonlight against the sounds of the ocean rushing against the sand, and Byul for Yongsun, in particular, managed to become the perfect pole to lean against as she took the lifting sensations in stride. The pair strolled the shoreline, just outside the currents' touches as the maknaes ran against the flux of the waves themselves, chasing the water's momentum. Byul and Yongsun giggled and watched their antics with a resting conviviality they both had missed, but would never admit was the case to themselves let alone the other person.

Still, Byul marveled at how easily affectionate Yongsun was being at present, especially considering on most recent days she couldn't even hope to climb the walls Yongsun had erected between them. As a result, Byul had convinced herself that arm's length was the new normal because that's what Yongsun wanted, and since Byul herself was lost on what **she** wanted -- there was only one rudder to steer from at present. But everything about the here and now suggested to Byul that the rigidity and care they had to live in on a daily basis not only temporary but perhaps there was a future where those walls would eventually crumble altogether. "You're a lot of fun when you're like this," Byul observed as Yongsun nuzzled closer against her.

"Like what?" Yongsun asked, wrapping her arms around Byul's waist now to keep from tripping in the dips and rises of the tiny sand dunes. 

"When you get to be Yongsun and not Solar. Although I'm growing fond of you both."

"Was that greasy? I can't tell if you're being greasy." Yongsun's leg came out and swung lightly at Byul's feet, causing the other woman to hop back and forth as the duo giggled.

"Any time I'm being sincere you think I'm being greasy. I can't pay you a compliment that's not based on your looks?" Yongsun's hands tangled in the fabric of Byul's shirt as she pulled her back into a walking embrace. With a resigned sigh, Byul's arm was back around Yongsun's shoulders, and she wasn't sure what made her say it but -- "Sometimes I wonder if you actively work to convince people there's something going on here." 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Yongsun asserted, taking another large swig of her beer and immediately making a disgusted face. "Why would you say something like that anyway? After everything?" They paused, Yongsun's visage flushing now from serene to agitated. Byul shrugged and immediately she could hear Yongsun's response before it was uttered: "Don't shut down." So as casually as she could manage with her own flaring agitation she landed on,

"Maybe to try and make it smaller. Between us," Byul took the bottle from Yongsun's hand and inhaled a large swallow. They took another few steps forward in gelling silence before Yongsun leaned back into Byul's embrace, only this time opting to take the hand swinging in opposite time to her own as she whispered,

"And maybe I like the way I look when I'm bathed in moonlight." Byul's head ticked to the side as she giggled and then took a larger swallow of the beer, groaning and emitting a small cough at how roughly it went down making Yongsun laugh.

Once Wheein and Hyejin ran back up the beach, their manager brought them back toward the parking lot area of the shoreline and asked them to hug together closely so they could leave a message for one another. 

Weak from the alcohol, from Yongsun's almost consistent touch, and possibly wanting some semblance of vengeance for Yongsun's little play on words that still synged the tiny hairs of her neck, Byul clutched Yongsun from behind, pressing Yongsun's waist firmly against her stomach before leaning in against Yongsun's ear, and in a startlingly husky tone, said, "I love you, Solar." Yongsun's face immediately opened into a wide "O" shape, the camera in front of the foursome dipping and shaking as the leader's body twitched and flinched.

Wheein was not about to let that be presented as a slip-up of any kind."What did you say?" the younger woman asked. Byul's head cradled down against Yongsun's chest, quietly begging her to calm down, to not push her away even as she sensed Yongsun's body was gearing up to do just that. 

"Wait a minute," Hyejin tried to stall, but the cat was out of the bag now, Byul's tone had been unmistakable. 

She had thought it a thousand times in the last few months. She thought it when she caught sight of Yongsun's hair cascading down her worked and overworked features during dance rehearsals. She thought it when they talked in the studio late at night when it was just the four of them and Hyejin had said something particularly dirty making Yongsun laugh -- she had these two little dimples that cupped the bottom cusp of her cheeks against the curve of her chin. She thought it when she fantasized about putting a kiss between those dimples just because they were so inexplicably adorable, hell, she'd even thought it when they were in the middle of a high-end row because they were starving, exhausted, and mostly unable to see some of the simplest things eye to eye -- when somehow the big things, things like strolls in the moonlight or kisses in a dressing room or that the thing they wanted most in the whole world was to be free to be musicians in every sense of the word, not just Idols, but people whose presence and music lasted through time . . . those were the times she had almost said it. Had nearly whispered it once or twice and dammit had even very nearly screamed it. Now it had been said. So she would say it again. 

Byul leaned back into Yongsun's neck and muttered in the same affirming pitch, "I love you." 

Yongsun was speechless, stepping out of frame while the maknaes filled and messed with the camera, to turn back to Byul who was now covering the grin on her face. There were no words in her head, Byul had taken her by complete and utter surprise. A fidget of the camera brought Wheein and Hyejin squealing back into their space, the former asking, "Do you wanna die?", a question so ridiculous and out of character that the tension's spell was immediately broken and all four of them erupted in peels of laughter.

The rest of the night was spent in great moments of freedom and happiness that had felt unavailable to them for days on end. The brief exchange between Byul and Yongsun was played off but not entirely forgotten as a few hours later, riled from the cold ocean water and giddy from the alcohol, Yongsun leaned over to where Byul was seated in the back of the van and asked, "Do you want to stay at my place tonight?" Byul's only response was a broad grin before she sent her sister a text telling her not to wait up, she would be staying the night with Yongsun. Once they were both safely inside Yongsun's apartment, Byul dragged herself to the couch, still giggling about nothing as Yongsun asked, "Do you want food? There's leftover kimchi rice." Byul answered with another burst of loud laughter.

"You should probably check to see if you still have sand in your pants. Those waves smacked your ass like you were a newborn."

"Aww-AH! I dried off fine in the car, you don't worry about me," Yongsun countered, sticking a large serving of the rice into the microwave. "You're going to need water," she added as she crossed into her bedroom to change. Whether by semi-drunk accident or some subconscious want, Yongsun left the bedroom door wide open, giving Byul a perfect view as Yongsun stepped up to her closet and pulled out a longsleeved shirt and shorts. Slowly, Byul's torso rose up far enough that she could watch, head leaning against her hand with a shit-eating grin on her face as she admired the way the soft bedroom light hugged Yongsun's feminine curves, edges, and etches once she stripped out of her previous clothes, tossing them into a nearby hamper. Byul's breathing was entirely shallow by the time Yongsun turned around and acknowledged she was being watched. "Pervert," she grumbled, picking up a sweatshirt and tossing it at Byul as she passed her on her way back to the kitchen. 

Byul made a big show about inhaling the lingering smell of Yongsun's flower-scented body wash, only exaggerating a little bit in all honesty, and then released an even louder, "Aaaahhh," sound that got her a passive, "This bitch," in mild retort as Yongsun removed the rice from the microwave. She divided the serving in half and carried the bowls into the living room, placing one in front of Byul and sitting on the floor with hers only inches from Byul's easy reach. Byul placed the sweatshirt under her head as Yongsun turned on the television, selecting the first thing to appear in her watchlist. 

"You should eat while it's hot," Yongsun pressed, Byul replying not by picking up the bowl, but by slowly running her fingers through Yongsun's hair as the woman on the floor ate. Eventually, Byul's fingers petered and stopped. Ten minutes into the program, Yongsun turned and found Byul fast asleep, her crooked arm holding Yongsun's sweatshirt against her cheek. Staring at the way the screen's light shifted against Byul's face, still streaked with make-up even after their romp near the ocean, Yongsun heard Byul's confession all over again not just once -- but twice. It had been a rough hit to her system initially, but now in replay, was coated in a tenderness that brought tears to her eyes.

Turning away from Byul's face, she covered her eyes, a habit so ingrained in her personality that it didn't matter if there was anyone around to hide from or not. She willed the tears back because if she cried -- then that means she accepted what Byul said as the truth and not as just some silly drunken one-off moment. _That's not fair. When has she **ever** been that way with me? Even when we fight -- especially then. When has she ever said **anything** she doesn't mean?_ A deep inhale and exhale brought Yongsun's eyes into the clear once again and she turned to Byul, reaching up and smoothing a few strands of hair away from her face. The sleeping woman on the couch stirred enough to swat the hand away, but as if her subconscious recognized the feel and touch of the shape against her skin, seconds later she was clutching onto Yongsun's hand and brought it against the pucker of her lips, and then Byul's breathing immediately slowed back into slumber. 

Gingerly Yongsun removed her hand and stood, reaching down to the far end of the couch and draping Byul with a blanket that barely covered her from shoulder to ankle. She attempted to replace the sweatshirt with a pillow, but Byul's grip tightened when she tried, forcing Yongsun to allow that to be enough for Byul to rest her head on. Another amorous wave hit Yongsun as she looked down at the younger member, peacefully asleep in her home, and she kissed the top of Byul's head, whispering, "Good night, Byul-ah."

"Ack! Fuck!" was the alarm that went off for Yongsun the next morning followed by the sounds of running water. Sitting up out of bed and rubbing her eyes, Byul appeared in the hallway a few minutes later asking, "Why did you let me fall asleep in my make-up? That shit was thick as your thighs!" 

Yongsun groaned as she stepped out of bed, seeing how clearly back to normal everything had become in the light of day. Byul didn't sound angry but she certainly knew how to cut to the quick on occasion. "No thank you for trying to feed you? For letting you sleep on the couch in case you got sick during the night?" 

Byul stopped halfway back to the couch and turned back to Yongsun who had now appeared in her oversized shirt and pajama bottoms. _Even **that** works for her_, Byul's mind forced upon her before she responded, "I'm sorry, unnie. I hope I didn't ruin it." She picked up Yongsun's sweatshirt and held it out to her, a long line of base and eye-liner spread across one side. Yongsun took the garment and shook her head.

"I have a strong stain remover manager-unnie gave us," she said, crossing back into her room temporarily to toss the sweatshirt into the hamper. She re-entered to the sounds of the television and Byul's fork hitting the bottom of her bowl as she started to inhale the kimchi rice that had sat out overnight. "Do you want me to warm that for you?" Yongsun asked with an extended hand, but Byul shook her head and shoveled in another large mouthful as some old Naruto cartoon played on the screen in front of her.

Yongsun crossed into the kitchen and pulled down her vitamins and supplements, taking one at a time with water as she watched Byul from a few feet away. She wanted to bring it up. She needed to know if Byul even remembered saying it, especially if Mamamoo TV ended up including it in one of their little broadcasts they started doing, she didn't want Byul to be freaked out if she didn't remember. There were already too many days where shit was weird between them, and while Yongsun admitted that partially was on her as of late, she still cared about Byul's feelings and safety. It was her job after all. As leader. 

Once she had finished capping off her supplements, she walked back into the living room and sat a few feet away from Byul, pulling her phone out of her pocket to scroll through her schedule but before she could ask, Byul's bowl plopped down on the little coffee table and she leaned back against the sofa asking, "Why did you invite me to stay last night?" A beat passed as Yongsun absorbed what Byul had asked, and then she turned to Byul, the rapper's long blonde hair draped across her neck, her eyes much softer absent the thick margins of eye makeup, making her look even younger than her years suggested. Or perhaps that was the lingering question still manifesting itself in her eyes. It broke Yongsun's heart.

"We haven't spent a lot of time together lately," she decided to reply honestly, "I missed you. I was surprised you said yes." Byul seemed to absorb this for a minute before Yongsun tossed the next ball between them, "Do you remember much?" Byul licked her lips and nodded.

"That I said I loved you?" The same rush that had flooded Yongsun's system the day she had practically accosted Byul in the dressing room returned in a larger upsurge than before. It stilled her, her eyes growing wide and before shrinking back down again, she could physically feel it. "Are you afraid I didn't mean it?" Yongsun visibly swallowed. "I do, Yong. Of course I love you." Yongsun gaped at her as Byul offered a small smile and then stood, taking her bowl into the kitchen. 

********

The weather was decent for being the middle of summer, and in spite of the heat, fans turned out in large numbers to watch Mamamoo perform on the risen portable stage in Olympic Park after a few hours of meet and greets and album signings. Loud cheers echoed throughout the greenery after Mamamoo announced their fanbase would be heretofore forever known as "MooMoos." The name settled on the crowd as Hyejin added, "Thank you, **MooMoos** for always cheering for all of us the same. Even if you have biases, we all feel your love equally. We just wanted you all to know we notice and we are grateful and that really matters to us." In answer to the roar of approval, Mamamoo concluded the show with "Mr. Ambiguous," before waving and navigating toward their exit. 

Suddenly, to the echoing chants of "encore! encore! encore!," there was a large crash and Wheein's body flung forward then hit the ground. Immediately, Yongsun and Hyejin encased their member in their arms as they lay there groaning in pain, the top of her leg splayed across the floor speaker she had accidentally knocked over. A hush fell over the crowd as the girls helped Wheein to their feet and their manager and other crew members came over to help. Hobbling down, Mamamoo disappeared for a few minutes, and when they returned it was without Wheein. "She will be all right, she has hurt her foot," Yongsun announced, she was answered with audible waves of worry, "but I know it would mean a lot to Wheein if you could sing her part for the encore. Want to give it a try? **MooMoos**?" The crowd cheered in the affirmative as Yongsun, Byul, and Hyejin all lined up for the start of their latest hit, "Um Oh Ah Yeh," and the crowd offered up strains of boisterous singing and applause, a sound which reached new decibels of volume when Wheein hopped back out in her Nike sneakers. Byul turned and clutched Wheein into her arms. The relief the group felt at the momentary reunion was immense and since Wheein could not be out on stage in her dancing heels, the three uninjured members bent over and slipped their own off in solidarity as they sang through the song sans choreography. Sounds of awe over the demonstration of incredible character by their Idols rippled throughout the crowd, never letting up until Mamamoo in the midst of their final exit, took the slippers their crew members had handed off to them and lugged them at the speaker that Wheein had tripped over, broadcasting officially that if anyone or anything messed with one of them they would always face the wrath with the other three. 

\-------------------

"Hello! We are Yongkong -- 

"Byulkong! Byulkong -- 

"Yongkong!"

"Moon aaaand -- "

"SUNRISE!" Yongsun and Byul proclaimed in unison. "We are so happy to see our MOOMOOS! Do you guys like your new names?" Yongsun asked with a bright smile, the soft autumn sweater she was wearing prickling against the fabric of Byul's long-sleeved black shirt. The swivel chairs that occupied in the small alcove of Yongsun's apartment swayed a little from side to side as they read the popping up comments. "Yeeees, Radish-Radish," Yongsun acknowledged with a giggle.

"Yongsun-ssi just wanted to hop onto v live to thank everyone for your support for our latest comeback and not to worry that we didn't win any shows. We are already coming up with new ideas for next time. There's always new ideas for next time," Byul added as her eyes shifted over to Yongsun who was staring suspiciously at her. "She's being weird today, she's been like this all day."

Yongsun balked at her junior member giving her a playful shove. "What? Woah, woah, woah, here that's too much, what do you mean 'like this?'" Byul's attention shifted away from the recording lens of the computer's camera.

"Ever since dinner, unnie, you've been off in your own little world. What are you thinking about?" Yongsun paused just long enough for Byul to ask, "MooMoos? MooMoo love?" which earned her yet another loose-fisted fling of Yongsun's fist, both of them chuckling as their attention reverted to the screen. "What did we eat? Gopchang. It was very good."

"We hadn't had a lot of opportunities to go to restaurants during promotions. We try to eat well," Yongsun paused, swallowing a bit as she briefly remembered how Byul had barely touched her dinner . . . or lunch . . . she hadn't been there for breakfast but something told her . . . "but sometimes it's just hard." Byul nodded her head in agreement. "My sweater? It's angora wool. It's actually really hot in here and this is just making me itch!" As Yongsun scratched at her arm, Byul started to rub her tummy. Immediately Yongsun tried to push her away but Byul would not relent before a few good pats had been bestowed. 

"Still hot, unnie?" Byul asked as Yongsun groaned impatiently, her large doe eyes fluxing in the fluorescent light. Byul read more scrolling comments as Yongsun lounged back in her chair. "Tell us something nice unnie has done for you." Byul brushed the under part of her nose once then twice before she smiled and revealed, "Well this one time she cooked, Solar unnie was dieting. When we were living together at the rooftop house, she would wake me up in the morning. As she woke me up she asked me, 'Do you want to eat?' So I told her I would eat, then all of a sudden, she started cooking. She gave me the food to eat." Beside her, Yongsun's smile kindled at the memory. "Since it was the morning I was just nibbling the food. All of a sudden she said, 'Here give it to me.' She took it from me, put a side of rice beside it, and fed me. She said this made her happy since she was on a diet." Immediately, Yongsun's head bent back in high pitched laughter as she clapped away the embarrassing chills running up and down her spine at Byul's recitation. 

"That sounds really weird!" Yongsun announced, "Something about this is really weird!"

"Let's look at something else. When is Solar pretty?" Yongsun balked but didn't back down as Byul continued to speak, "There are many times when she looks pretty but I find this particularly pretty: when I check through video. When I confirm her beauty through video." Yongsun's head popped to the side as she unleashed a vociferous, flustered howl.

"Oh, uh! This one . . . ah, but, but wow . . . " Yongsun sputtered as one hand rose as a defensive line of sight from seeing the way Byul was cackling while the other gripped onto the fabric of Byul's shirt, pushing her away when clapping accompanied Byul's greasy laughter. With a little tick of her head, one very similar to the bob she administered on the beach with mentions of Yongsun bathed in moonlight, Byul continued with a melodramatic air of adoration,

"When Solar unnie smiles . . . "

Yongsun's hands charged forward like shot-puts, grabbing Byul's wrists. In spite of her words of protestation for Byul to 'stop! that's enough!', the grin she wore against the swelling ebb of her blush thrilled Byul into yet another peal of laughter. The two pushed back and forth for a few moments before they subliminally called a draw and backed down. Yongsun read another comment from the screen. "What were your first impressions of one another? Well, first of all, she -- " Yongsun pointed over to Byul, "must've thought I was younger than her -- "

"Because you have a baby face," Byul interrupted with a suave coolness that had settled into her demeanor now that she knew she had Yongsun properly flustered. Yongsun shoved Byul yet again.

"Why are you being like this? Don't do that!" she insisted with as much venom as a poppy flower. 

"She was very pretty," Byul tagged on as the comments section went stir crazy. This time when Yongsun pushed her it was hard followed by her yanking her sleeves up. Swiping her fingers across her bottom lip, Byul said, "The fur keeps sticking to my face, do I have any here?" and plucked some fuzz from her cheek. Yongsun turned to Byul with a large, wicked grin and countered,

"No, you're pretty." 

"What?!" Byul chided. Leaning forward, Yongsun read another comment aloud,

"Question to Byul, when do you feel the leader is a leader?" Byul's expression sobered as she considered the question thoroughly, Yongsun's eyes remaining firmly on the screen, and after a beat answered,

"When she protects me. I'm not good at speaking. So during interviews and such when I'm flustered, I get cold sweats and stutter." Yongsun gave small attentive nods, drawing Byul's focus to her as she continued, "But she covers me straight away. So you could say, those are times when I am thankful." Yongsun's eyes flitted up and down between Byul's line of sight and her lips, so after a throat-clearing swallow, Byul's attention darted to the side, Yongsun trying hard to restrain the appearance of a smile, "When I stutter like this, she immediately steps in saying, 'This is what you mean.' At those times I feel like she's indeed a leader." Once she was concluded, Byul's eye-line landed in Yongsun's again, a broad grin spreading across her lips at the sight of Yongsun's flattered expression, so of course, Yongsun had to break the tension by looking away and shouting, 

"Ah! Really . . . this is weird," her arm reaching up to rub at the flushed skin of her shoulder, her entire temperature having risen exponentially once again in the last few seconds.

"This is Yong-beating," Byul stated.

"It's weird . . . this is weird . . . there's something weird about this . . . " Yongsun continued, trying to switch her focus back to the screen to search for more questions as Byul reclined naturally in her own chair. 

As the v live continued, Yongsun found her temperature had yet to siphon back to a reasonable level. There was nothing she could do about the warm sweater she'd chosen to wear, but there was something else too. As Byul answered another question posed to her, doing so with a smooth companionability that was contrary to the story of her stuttering she had previously told, Yongsun's gaze operated of its own accord, shifting between Byul's moving lips and her eyes as if the two were connected to a motor that was revving her up from the inside. At one point the curve of Byul's lip did . . . **something** . . . to her system so strongly that she suddenly found it difficult to swallow, to breathe even as her throat bobbed from the hard way it had to contract in order to inhale properly again. The hand that was beneath the table started ran along the hem of Byul's jeans, the pressure of Yongsun's fingers seeming to press idly but when Byul finished her story and turned back to Yongsun there was a small smile and nod, followed by a confused laugh that carried beneath it a modicum of beguilement. 

When it came time for Yongsun to answer yet another question it was much more difficult and her speech stuttered. "Now who's acting weird," Byul teased. Yongsun kicked Byul beneath the desk, but in doing so revealed to Byul there **was** something definitively "weird" happening so every few minutes she would reach over and touch her or say something playful to try and get Yongsun to relax, only it seemed every little thing she did had the reverse effect and in fact, Yongsun was tensing more and more. 

"I think we are going to wrap it up," Yongsun finally announced into the camera after nearly forty-minutes of conversation, "We are so grateful to our MooMoos for always supporting us. We are working hard and hope to bring you something better and new soon. Until then, we are Yongkong -- "

Byul blinked, struck by the sudden shift but a quick glance at the clock indicated Yongsun was probably tired so she filled in her next line, "Byulkong, Byulkong -- "

"Yongkong -- "

"Moon aaaand -- "

"Sunrise!" Their hands popped up in mock jazz hands as they waved and said goodbye. 

They clicked the "End" button and leaning back into her chair, Byul turned herself in a quarter rotation to Yongsun. "Are you all right? You seem to be -- " and then it was happening all over again, in much the same way as the last time. 

Gripping Byul's wrist Yongsun yanked Byul to her feet, the chair's recline not anticipating the harsh pull tipped backward and clattered to the floor. Yongsun's eyes darted around until she spotted a much more stable nearby chair, her hand dragging Byul the few feet until she practically tossed the taller woman into the seat. Byul's mouth gaped but she did nothing to desist Yongsun as her waist was straddled and Yongsun's lips were searing against her own. 

They fervently kissed for several minutes, Byul squeezing Yongsun closer by the waist as Yongsun's hands curled into the collar of Byul's sweater. When Byul pushed her tongue into Yongsun's mouth the singer moaned, her fingers gripping the back of Byul's neck to dip her back far enough that Yongsun's lips could migrate further south. The vibrations in Byul's neck allowed Yongsun to feel the groan escaping Byul's throat which transitioned into a giggle. Sitting up, Yongsun's slightly flushed face, prickling with the beginning points of embarrassment, morphed into one of confusion. "Unnie, your sweater, it tickles!" Byul informed, turning her head to the side and lightly spitting out flecks of fur from the tip of her tongue. 

"Too damned hot too," Yongsun decided, blushing all over at the thought of just ripping the sweater off and continuing to kiss Byul senseless, but the momentary break was splashed her thoughts like cold water as Yongsun stood up and crossed into the other room.

"Unnie, wha -- " Byul got to her feet and a few steps forward told her she probably needed to take the opportunity to step into the bathroom. "Huh," she muttered, relieved that Yongsun had disappeared and hadn't been there to see the look on her face when Byul realized what Yongsun's aggressive move had done to her body. A quick stop into the restroom fixed the matter right up and when she stepped back into the hallway, Yongsun was in the far corner of the living room on hands and knees, a bottle of sanitizer on the floor, and a towel in her hand. She had changed into shorts and an oversized shirt and had also apparently decided this was the exact right time to clean her yoga mat. 

Yongsun looked up as Byul approached, Byul standing beside her at first before plopping down beside her, the only sound between them was the occasional "squirt! squirt!" from the plastic bottle nozzle and the swiping sound of fabrics colliding. Byul let her finish, just keeping her company in silence and when a tiny line of sweat appeared at the corner of her temple, Byul reached up and wiped it away with her thumb. The back of Yongsun's wrist smoothed a few strands back into her thick mane as she thumped the hand towel onto the mat and cradled back on her haunches. Byul took Yongsun by the wrist, guiding her against the floor until their legs were wrapped around the other's waist. They seemed somehow closer than they had been moments before, Byul's fingers tracing up and across Yongsun's jaw into the singer's hairline. Hooded eyelids fluttered as their features chased one another through the open air, skin barely tracing across skin until their lips met in a kiss filled with less heat by far more sensuality. Byul moaned against the press, leaning forward in an effort to bring Yongsun's back to the floor but when both of Yongsun's hands planted behind her, stopping any potential momentum, Byul pulled back. "Do you want to stop?" Byul asked. Yongsun shook her head but didn't make a move to continue either.

"Why do you suppose we do this?" Yongsun asked, the breadth of the question flooring Byul, but gratefully Yongsun continued, "Randomly just -- kissing like we're teenage virgins trying to get into the other's pants." Byul giggled.

"You want to get into my pants? They wouldn't fit you, unnie, your ass is too big." 

"Now twist the knife the other way," Yongsun countered, shoving her palm against Byul but not hard enough to launch her away. In fact, her hands started to fidget with the collar she had grabbed minutes before as she added, "I'm serious, Byul-ah . . . this is twice now this has happened . . . not the kissing just . . . this kind, this -- much . . . " 

"Both times initiated by you," Byul reminded, but before Yongsun could start "blaming" herself, she added, "and both times did you hear me complaining?" Yongsun sighed, rubbing her hands idly up and down Byul's arms. They sat like that for a few moments before Byul said quietly, "Maybe this time happened because I told you I loved you . . . and you know, you didn't say it back." 

"Byul-ah," Yongsun quietly whined, a twinge of hurt in her voice as she stared at Byul dead on, but the rapper didn't look hurt or offended. She'd just stated a fact, and thought Yongsun was irritated at having the subject deliberately broached out in the open, she couldn't be **mad** at the possibility Byul was on to something. "You -- you **have** to know -- "

"It's all right," Byul cut-off. Yongsun swatted her arm.

"Don't interrupt me, and don't assume you know what I'm going to say," she demanded. Sucking in through her teeth Byul nodded and waited for Yongsun to continue. Only several seconds passed and Yongsun said nothing at all, and in that time, Byul's heart began to drop. It was clear from Yongsun's expression that she had drifted off into the vastness of her internal mind palace for something to say, but it was just as clear to Byul that the process itself was causing her to shut down. Which **also** meant she hadn't thought to unpack, confront, and ultimately understand . . . **this**. And that's not how Byul wanted to hear "It," or anything surrounding "It."

"Yongsun-ssi," Byul said, taking Yongsun's hands in hers, "you show me how you feel **all** the time. You don't exactly walk the earth with a detached heart. I -- I don't need to name this. When it happens -- it happens."

"You said this was 'Something' though," Yongsun said, rubbing her thumbs against Byul's knuckles roughly. The urge to cover her face was paramount but Byul was holding that safeguard hostage. 

"Not everything has to have a name," Byul decided aloud. 

Yongsun's eyes glistened with a color of hope. Byul was letting her off the hook via an avenue of pure kindness, a trait of Byul's Yongsun had never been more selfishly grateful of than right now. Yongsun stared at their intertwined hands and asked in a quiet voice, "Are -- are you secretly seeing anyone?" Byul laughed.

"Do you think I am capable of keeping something like that from you?" Yongsun giggled and shook her head. "You?" Yongsun shook her head yet again.

"Same. You'd know." Byul shrugged. 

"Weird, huh?" 

  
***************

Los Angeles wasn't all that different from Seoul, at least in the downtown area, although the traffic was some of the worst the girls had ever seen. The company had managed to book them a trip to meet American MooMoos and they were thrilled to finally be getting some solid international travel under their belt. Though they were only scheduled to be in the States for two days, the girls had practically rushed everywhere they were allowed to go, admiring the crazy differences being in a more liberal part of the world afforded. Hyejin in particular had been very impressed with how many bars there were as they drove up to the concert venue. "Have you been working on your English?" their manager had asked them as their driver searched the parking deck for a space.

"Better than Hyejin," Wheein teased but the maknae nodded.

"When you're right you're right," she confirmed as the van finally came to a stop.

"You'll have a translator, obviously," the manager clarified with a smile, "but just remember they may be more direct than you're used to, it's not because they're rude. I suppose." The girls giggled, already excited and anxious. Excited because it meant they had made a cross-continental impression in their industry, anxious because the number could be big or small, and it was usually best not to get one's hopes up. Yongsun had opted to sit in the back with Byul and just before they stepped out, Byul squeezed their leader's hand, certain that she wouldn't get the opportunity for a while. Yongsun usually stiffened when she was truly tense, her neck taking the brunt of the tight assault on her nerves, and the car ride was proving no exception as she had hyper-focused on reading and re-reading the layout of their schedules the entire time, repeating it aloud both to herself and to her members who graciously indulged her. They tended to be more obedient when they too were nervous.

The concert was scheduled to occur after a brief fan-meeting in one of the smaller atriums of the venue center. When the girls stepped out and walked to the table, they were surprised by the number of fans waiting there to greet them. "All new MooMoos!" Hyejin yelled, her accent thick but her English secure so the crowd understood and applauded. The girls sat in their standard order at the table, noting the age of attendees was anywhere between ten to forty, most of them, like they had seen previously in Korea, and were therefore already somewhat anticipating, women.

What took all four of them by surprise was how many of them seemed to have short hair, how many appeared to be paired off, and how many of them were wearing some form of the LGBTQ+ pride flag somewhere on their attired. Several times, Hyejin was approached with a flattering compliment on her beauty, and to each woman, she nodded and said thank you she thought they were beautiful too. In fact, the maknae seemed to not only get the most compliments but absorbed each with prideful gusto. On one occasion, one woman dropped to her knee and asked Hyejin to marry her to which she cheered and proclaimed, "yes!" making the woman nearly faint dead away on the spot. The next person in line approached Byul, this one much younger and shyer, her tiny pride flag peeking out beneath a large jean jacket, and thanked her for being such a good role model to her. Byul was very touched, extending her hand for a handshake but when Hyejin nodded down to her, Byul stood and gave the girl a shoulder pressed hug. The girl was so appreciative she started to cry, even more so when Byul jostled her hand and told her not to, that she was proud of her too. 

Once they had the opportunity to see everyone in the gathered crowd into the auditorium, the girls stepped back with a wave and marched down the hallway with the crew to the dressing rooms. "How many proposals did you get, Hyejin-ah?" Wheein asked, but the maknae just shrugged.

"Boys, girls, can I help it?" The pair glanced over their shoulder at Byul, side by side with Yongsun, both moderately dragging their feet. "Byul-ssi was more shy than usual," Hyejin whispered, her eyes clicking with Wheein's in a knowing way. Wheein pressed her finger to her lips and nodded. "I know. It's not a performance for her."

"Do you think **she** knows yet?" Wheein asked as they increased their stride to ensure they wouldn't be overhead, the dressing room just around the corner. Hyejin shrugged.

"She'd tell us if she **did**. When she **does**."

**********

"I was really surprised some of them seemed to know the fan chants," Byul admitted from where she was reclining in her bed after the show. She and Yongsun were sharing a room, their early morning schedules demanding they retire rather than go any sightseeing. Besides, most things that weren't clubs and bars were closed at eleven on a Friday night, and Hyejin and Wheein had lost the argument with the manager about going out to one of those. They'd been promised, 'maybe tomorrow,' with about as much assurance as gravity reversing. The concert had been a massive success, Byul still reeling from the high and even Yongsun seemed to come out of the funny stupor she had been in between the fan-sign and the concert to relive some moments with the other members in the van. "They were so loud!" Byul said, remembering the near-deafening cheering they had been met with throughout. 

"It's going to take days for my hearing to return," Yongsun conceded from the bathroom, the running water accompanying the sound of her voice. Byul laughed, scrolling through the photos she had taken backstage.

"You looked amazing out there!" Byul complimented and was appropriately repaid by Yongsun's chiding call for her to shut her mouth. She was still laughing when Yongsun stepped out of the bathroom, turning down her covers as she sheepishly added,

"Thank you." Byul made an affirming noise as she said through a smile,

"I'm still so keyed up, I don't know how I will be able to sleep." Yongsun giggled, picking her phone up from where it had been tossed amongst the covers and placed it on the nearby bedside table. 

"Doesn't mean we shouldn't try," she wheedled as Byul groaned. Yongsun slipped under the covers, "Though I agree with you." Byul's lips puckered out in surprise as Yongsun's thinned into a line. "It happens, don't get cute."

"I am cute though," Byul countered as Yongsun turned off her bedside light. "I'm just going to edit these. If I try to go to sleep before I'm ready I won't at all." At the very least she managed to say all that while slipping under her own duvet. "See? All tucked in." Yongsun shook her head and turned onto her back, closing her eyes.

"Good night, Byul-ah."

"Good night Yongsun-ssi." A few seconds passed before Yongsun added, 

"You did well tonight." Byul smiled but didn't reply as Yongsun's eyes shut and Byul's sharpened against her phone's screen, switching out her own bedside light to give Yongsun's system a fighting chance to sleep. 

An hour past and Byul was still trying to find the right filters to properly capture the photos. All four members had performed at least one solo song and she was currently on a photo taken from the "wings" of Yongsun, arm up in the air as her mouth opened wide against the hand-held microphone. She'd managed to blur the faces of the audience members, making them look like a sea of muted ghosts, but this enhanced the way Yongsun -- or rather Solar, herself shone under the brightness of the lights. It was a good picture, that was why she was working so hard to make it perfect. _Exactly . . . sure . . ._ Byul licked her lips and shook her head slightly against the thought when she heard a rustling sound coming from the other bed, followed by a soft sigh. 

Placing her phone down, Byul's attention turned to Yongsun's bed, silently watching to see if it happened again, and in point of fact, it did. She leaned forward to get a better look, waiting in silence to see if perhaps Yongsun was dreaming and if it was a nightmare if she would need to be woken up. The soft glow of the city lights played against Yongsun's features, illuminating a side profile of her silhouette. Her eyes were closed. Byul's eyes darted down the duvet to see that the rustling was coming from below Yongsun's waist. _Holy shit . . ._ Byul was frozen at the thought of what was happening. She licked her lips and thought about saying something but when Yongsun's head tapped back, deeper into the pillow and her lips parted as the rustling intensified, Byul instead sunk further into her own covers, shifting down the bed so she could see Yongsun more clearly. _She has to know I'm awake, she **has** to . . . _

Yongsun's front teeth bit her bottom lip as a quiet but high pitched moan vibrated against closed lips. Byul's breathing panted against open, wet lips. She was feeling lightheaded, a throbbing between her legs begging to be tended to. Somehow, though, that felt disrespectful. Yongsun could still be unaware Byul was awake, she could be half asleep herself, she could -- all fight left Byul's intentions as Yongsun's head turned and her eyes opened, staring at Byul. The movement in the bed increased in pace as Yongsun's mouth opened in a half-smile, and that unleashed any grappling hold Byul once had on her system's libido. Laying on her side so she could see Yongsun clearly her hand slipped past the fabric of her pants and seconds later she was fighting hard against sensations that would pull her gaze from where it was locked in Yongsun's. She usually did this with her eyes closed, but tonight her fantasy material was playing out right before her eyes and she would be damned if she missed a second of it, if this weren't enough to damn her already.

It didn't take long before both of their paces became as ragged as their breathing, accompanied by low groans and high pitched moans that struggled to remain as quiet as possible, knowing Wheein and Hyejin were on the other side of the wall. Byul was surprised at how quickly she was reaching her peak, losing her staying power the minute Yongsun's head hit the back of the pillow once again, Byul's name ghosting across her lips. Turning her face into the pillow, Byul released a high-pitched moan as she crested over the edge, feeling her face flush at the constant replay of the last two seconds. _She said my name . . . **my** name . . ._ Byul breathed heavily into the pillow, refusing to turn out to look at Yongsun or even the ceiling until she had a better hold of herself, her hand coming out of her pants. 

When she finally mustered the courage to check in with Yongsun she was met with the leader's back to her, the rise and fall of her chest slow and steady. Rolling onto her back, Byul stared up at the ceiling in the darkness, wondering and choosing to only partially accept what had just happened.

\----------------------

"If you two were the opposite gender, would you have dated?" Yongsun read from the comments section of the v live, pondering the question before the intention behind it struck her. "Oh I get it," she said, turning to Byul who was still adjusting her hair in the lens of the camera. The pair had decided to open up a v live after their minds had turned to mush from a full morning of rehearsals and an afternoon turned evening of lyric writing for their first full album release. It was all they could think of most days, usually spending time at the studio or apart since their return trip from Los Angeles . . . because of work. But now a session meant to last a few hours had become several and they desperately needed a distraction. In seeing Byul's lack of attention or fluctuation at Yongsun reading the question aloud, Yongsun's perspective immediately shifted, doubt creeping in that maybe -- "Actually I don't want to answer this question."

With her hair properly laced in a long, blonde ponytail, Byul leaned forward and re-read the question. "What? Finish it up if you started it." Yongsun's grin pried through tense lips as she tried her best to laugh off the implication of the posed situation. 

"Would we have dated if we were the opposite gender? Make an 'O' for yes or an 'x' for never." Byul's focus remained forward, as Yongsun tried to catch her eye. Byul gave her nothing apart from a small bobbing rock of her torso.

"Miss Solar first."

"No, hurry, at the same time," Yongsun urged. Byul seemed to be unamused by the query, a polar opposite to Yongsun's teetering courage at addressing what was being forcefully brought to the surface. "1, 2, 3!" Their attention returned forward to clock the other's answer in the reflection of the camera playback as Yongsun's arms crossed in a big 'x' while at the same time, Byul's palms rose up quickly just at the level of her waist, thumbs touching while her palms splayed in a completely non-committed answer. "Why didn't you do it?"

"See that? This is how she is."

"No! But -- "

"What." The pair pretended to be reading comments while at the same time, Byul leaned in closer as Yongsun's hand reached over to the mouse of the computer and scrolled. A small beat passed before Yongsun continued.

"The reason why I said no -- "

"Yeah." Yongsun's focus turned back to the camera, her words coming out very nearly rehearsed as if possibly, just possibly, this was something she had thought of before.

"It's because, Miss Byul, if you were a guy, you would've been too popular and out of my league." Yongsun did her best to smile as she said each word, Byul sensing the sincerity in her voice. Because of said sincerity, her instinctual counter was to turn with a smile bigger than Yongsun's, laughter teetering beneath her reply,

"I know, so go away." 

"Okay," Yongsun spat, her witty ending to Byul's teasing remark feeling very reminiscent of easier days; the ones that didn't involve hotel beds on the other side of the world. 

Leaning over and resting her head in the crook of Yongsun's neck in the midst of a hug, Byul made an "aww" sound that was followed by, "She's so cute . . . "

Yongsun rolled her eyes but her smile finally rested in relaxed happiness at Byul's affection, something she grew more used to by the day. "So that was our answer. Next?" That was until Byul started to hug her harder and press her head deeper, patting Yongun's arm until the leader was forced to lean back and complain, "Ow, ow, ow you're pulling my hair!"

A few minutes later the pair read the question as to which Idol had caught their attention recently and when Byul observed aloud that f(x) were making their comeback, Yongsun's entire body language changed. She mentally prepared herself for Byul to bring up the fact she was a big fan of Krystal, someone who, in Yongsun's opinion, had a compatible personality with Byul if they were ever given the opportunity to meet. Byul was allowed to have other friends, of course. But it didn't detract from the fact that occasionally, when they were at the studio and Yongsun needed to check the time, and Byul's phone was closest, she would see the first few lines of a personalized, friendly message from some new person they had met during a show performance, or from social media, and think, rational or not, -- is there something there I can't give? Was it fair? No. Was it possessive? Definitely. Could she help it? Also no. "You're jealous, aren't you?" Byul finally said. Yongsun shook her head. "Look at her, just look," Byul teased, Yongsun's face falling further. "She thinks she has something to be jealous of -- Yeba," Yongsun's eyes flitted over to Byul as the rapper's smile widened, her fingers rising up to gently knock under Yongsun's chin, " -- pretty fool," she concluded, clucking her tongue and fingers in tandem in an onslaught of Yongsun's senses. Yongsun's frustrated and mildly violent reaction served as confirmation Byul had been right on the money. 

Later that night Yongsun made a large online purchase online then texted Byul, asking if she wanted to go out to lunch tomorrow since it was their day off. "Still feeling insecure ;) ?" Byul's message bubble asked, but Yongsun replied that all right there **was** something she wanted to run by her, an idea really that would need to be immediately put into motion if they were to get it done on time. Curiosity peaked, Byul suggested they go to their favorite outdoor eatery, but only if Yongsun wore the gift Byul had brought by that morning. Glancing at the sweatshirt that was hanging up for an air-dry, Yongsun groaned but agreed.

Byul was already at the restaurant, having gotten them a table in the rooftop alcove when Yongsun arrived. Yongsun's heart fluttered just the tiniest bit at how casually adorable Byul looked in her backward cap, a color that matched the dark blue sweatshirt with the word "moon" across it. "You wore it!" Byul cheered from the bench seat which was adjacent to the long serving table. Yongsun's arms raised up as she displayed the white "sun" sweatshirt with a modicum of prestige.

"Satisfied?" Yongsun asked. Byul immediately broke out in a cherry red blush. Yongsun inhaled through her teeth, resisting the urge to break the tension by shoving the envelope in her purse in Byul's hand.

"Did you get recognized on the way in?" Yongsun shook her head as she slid in beside her.

"No, no one recognized me."

"I recognize you," Byul teased, and it was then that Yongsun realized she had been set up for a greasy comment, but lucky for her she was quick on the uptake today.

"Did you think that one up while waiting for me?" Byul shrugged as the waiter approached with a large order Byul had placed once Yongsun had texted her she was on her way. "I wanted it to be hot and ready," Byul said as the side dishes surrounded a large boiling pot of stew. "I hope it's all right." Yongsun nodded.

"One less decision I have to make today." Byul couldn't tell if Yongsun was kidding or not so she was relieved when Yongsun broke into a smile. Byul was so focused on Yongsun's lips she immediately spotted a bit of drool on her chin. Reaching up to wipe the wet away with the pad of her thumb, she asked,

"Have you not eaten yet today?" Yongsun giggled and shook her head. 

"Up late, trying out this song cover idea." Byul nodded, dishing up a bowl for herself, seeing Yongsun was wanting to cut to business. That was par for the course, she usually did better and relaxed more once whatever was on her mind was purged so Byul would indulge her. "I know we have toyed around with the idea of a subunit before," Yongsun began, keeping her eyes on her meal as she fixed up her own serving, "and -- I know things between us have been . . . what they have been. But I still think on the professional side of things there's really a lot there. A female rapper and vocalist, our energies on stage are complementary but different. There's an opening on Sugarman next month and I think it would be a lot of hard work really fast, but I talked with CEO about it and well, he wasn't **thrilled** with the idea of it but -- "

"Which CEO?" Byul asked, putting a large portion of stew meat in her mouth via the wood spoon between her lips. Yongsun kept her focus forward.

"Do-hoon." Byul's nose tweaked upward, but she didn't say anything in response, instead she upped the volume of her slurping sounds, hoping it would be enough to push Yongsun to continue. "Jim-Woo likes the idea." Byul's eyebrows raised. "He thinks it's a good follow-up to the title track and he also thinks that with as few groups as the company has, you can't start a subunit too early." Byul nodded while she chewed, digesting both the food and everything Yongsun had just sprung on her. 

"You're right," Byul concluded, "it is a good idea." Yongsun stopped eating long enough to smile. "So what song did you have in mind?" Yongsun's smile grew brighter as she reached into her purse and handed Byul an envelope. "What's this?"

"I could've just emailed them to you but sometimes a symbol means something," Yongsun explained as Byul opened the envelope and very nearly fell out right into her stew.

"VIP f(x) tickets!" She pulled out the pair. "Two, I see. Is this for me to choose someone to go with or -- "

"Oh, I'm going with you," Yongsun said, taking another bite of her stew noodles, the implication being that she wanted to be there when they ultimately went backstage to keep an eye on Byul around someone she admired as greatly as Krystal, "I enjoy f(x) sunbaenim too. I don't have to be a stan to be a fan." Byul nodded and folded the envelope placing it in her back pocket.

"Thank you. But you didn't have to bribe me, unnie," Byul teased, "I've just been waiting for you to decide you wanted to do this." Yongsun's chopsticks paused but then slowly fed the noodles into her mouth as Byul continued, "I'm glad you found a song you thought we could do." Yongsun slurped the noodles down with an affirming sound. "Should we go to the studio and get started once we have full bellies?" 

"I'd like that. You sure you don't mind the extra work?" Byul fed herself another piece of kimchi.

"What else is there but the work?"

**********

As the track began with the rise of the lights came up, Solar's voice sang sweetly, "Trust the warmth inside," seated beneath a raised platform, body turned at an angle that led the line of sight up to MoonByul standing above her as the pair sang in unison, 

"You don't have to say a word just know but if you ever wanna come back to me I'll be here waiting for you." MoonByul's microphone lowered, the soft white and blue lights gently flooding against their opposing costuming: MoonByul in long-sleeves and pants while Solar donned a delicate, knee-length white dress. 

Solar continued into the next verse on a stool that situated her far enough off the ground that her heels barely swept the ground. She kept her eyes closed through the swell of the mournful and yearning musicality of the melody as the lyrics transitioned between English and Korean, telling the story of someone waiting for another, asking them to trust what they feel because they felt so strongly for them. With each line in the opening stanza, Yongsun sang, a tiny harness of pain lanced through her voice, one that cut deeper than her young years suggested. The audience was mostly still, MoonByul lightly swaying to the song's tempo, glances flitting between Solar at her downward diagonal angle and the audience, but eyes never landing upon her. 

Solar stood but instead of focusing out to the audience, she strolled at full profile, cutting the distance between her and MoonByul by yet another degree. As the pining vocals of the song continued, Solar stepped closer to the center of the raised platform then pivoted to the audience as MoonByul began her descent down the steps, and by the end of Solar's next verse, they were planted between each other in a large gap, a handful of dancers appearing to fill out the swells of the stage. When the chorus began again, MoonByul's body swayed to the complementary growth of Solar's voice, attacking the chorus anew with another twinge of insistence in her voice: "Trust the warmth inside. Can you feel my love alive," and as a result, the audience gave her a wave of cheers. During the repeat of the line, "Like yesterday, today will pass as if nothing is wrong," Solar and MoonByul locked eyes before a large stride and spin planted them back to back. The audience's reactions began to die away. When Solar cupped her microphone between both hands, MoonByul mirrored briefly, only instead of raising her microphone to her lips she brought it down to her chest as Solar sang, "And please don't tell me why I turn around to you."

Against the juncture of the lyrics' behest, MoonByul stepped away from Solar to dance, acting as the primary point of contact in her white costume against the dancer's black as Solar continued on with her verse. MoonByul's body moved in tandem with Solar, occasionally stepping into smaller moments of synchronicity back and forth in the center of the stage, matching each other in small bursts rather than elongated strides. As Solar sang the line, "I wasn't good enough for you, so I always wondered when the end would come," MoonByul closed the gap between them, her upstage arm extending forward after a quick flux of a body roll until it was blanketing Solar's waist. Solar, in turn, grabbed MoonByul's arm at the elbow, their bodies both popping in unison for two beats of the music before committing to the full body rolls from shoulders to hips [b]toward[/b] one another. As they stood at literal arm's length, Solar sang, "So you wouldn't feel bad for me and so you wouldn't regret it," then used the momentum of the dance to step into a cross, moving away from each other. Solar took center as MoonByul turned and joined the formation of the dancers at the back. 

Once the song circled back to the chorus, MoonByul and Solar were once on opposite ends of the stage, further away now than they had been. As Solar sang, "the end comes without a word," she and MoonByul crossed to centerstage and returned to their previous back to back poses, only now there was a definitive gap between them. A brief dance break where they performed synced same movements below the waist ended with Solar belting out the high note of the phrase with a turn of her head, eyes closed as was her signature to do so whenever she was imagining the belt of her tone blasting off into the microphone. MoonByul countered the tail end of the release of the note by beginning her rap and crossing centerstage with a rapper's swagger to spit her verse. As the intensity of her own written words circled the metaphors she and Solar circled each other, and as MoonByul's verbiage increased so did the momentum of her body until she and Solar had turned to each other and while they were singing **toward** each other, only MoonByul dared to look at Solar head-on. When Solar regained vocal control amongst the swelling strain of the song, MoonByul's rotated until she and Solar were once again back to back only this time, Solar was facing the audience dead on. 

The song had grown to its denouement as Solar's soaring vocals paired against MoonByul's repeats of the song's lyrics. They strode once again to opposite sides of the stage only to advance back to one another through the heat of the melody's intensity. This time Solar **did** sing directly to MoonByul and as they landed down-center, they hit the turn out to the audience. The dancers behind them moved gracefully and in a proportionate framework as they had done throughout, but Solar was now lost in the push of her power belt, something she had worked the hardest on during the strenuous rehearsals, while again, MoonByul's own vocals complimented and peppered Solar's sailing sound. Against the pressing pulse of the final refrains of the chorus, Solar and MoonByul punched each phrase, the exertion of which occasionally showing in the fatal power contortions of Byul's lips, opposite to the softening delicacies of Solar's own features. When the pair turned back to one another, hands on their hearts, MoonByul's expression softened until they shifted back to back, the rapper's hand lingering momentarily on her chest as Solar gripped her microphone. Glancing briefly to the audience, Byul's own raspy vocals glided through the speakers: "Like yesterday, don't bother pretending, like today, pretend to be okay," while Solar crossed just behind her, head bowed, both of them touching their chests on the last lines of the phrase as they swayed in unison, a tight movement back and forth performed in a blink. The lights behind them brightened. "Again and again like the first time," Byul ended as the duo rotated once around each other, the dancers dispersing to either side of the stage, and Solar and MoonByul struck their final pose centerstage: heads bowed at an angle, their upstage hands inches apart, holding their gazes down as the lights dimmed to a blackout and the song's final echoing chords vanished through the speakers. 

Following the performance of "Like Yesterday," Yongsun and Byul casually stalled in their dressing room, already changed into their street clothes, waiting for their opportunity to leave when there was a knock at the door. Their manager opened it and upon seeing they had a guest asked Byul and Yongsun if they would be interested in speaking with her. At the mention of Amber Liu's name, Byul nodded immediately, excited to reacquaint herself with the friend she had made at the f(x) concert a few weeks ago. Yongsun got to her feet from where she was seated at the make-up chair as Amber walked into the room.

"Hey guys," she said with a bright smile that dimpled into her hard-cut features, "that was quite a performance out there." Byul and Yongsun both bowed to their elder,

"You too, and Luna-ssi," Byul complemented through a flustered smile.

Amber moved in for a brief hug with Byul. "Ah, now thank you but no. We're friends now." 

"Thank you for coming to tell us we did well," Yongsun said, keeping her distance and accepting the handshake that Amber offered. 

"Actually," Amber said, "I was hoping I could talk with you a minute." Her eyes pinged back to the manager by the door. Yongsun and Byul exchanged a quick glance before Yongsun asked their manager if they could have a few minutes of privacy, seeing as how their crew had already left to go home and it was just the three of them in the room anyway.

"I'll go see if the car is pulled around so you have ten minutes."

"All I'll need," Amber reassured as the door closed. 

"Sit," Byul offered, but Amber raised her hand and shook her head. 

"I'm good." She rubbed her thumb and forefinger over her chin as she stared at the floor for a beat, her head bobbing as she said, "I doubt this is my place, but I felt compelled to share something with you two so you know if I'm in the wrong I guess I'll catch it later in the future. Hopefully, you understand what I'm doing is looking out for you both because I really believe, especially after tonight, you're two truly talented ladies." She looked up and between them before through a sigh she said, "You two can't **ever** do that again." 

Yongsun folded her arms across her chest, her brow furrowing and a slight twinge of frustration settled into her voice. "I'm sorry?" Amber raised her hand quickly, and in spite of her own flared anger, Yongsun buttoned her lips.

"I've seen a few Mamamoo performances. When it's the four of you . . . there's enough coverage to distill the chemistry. But you two alone?" Amber's eyes landed on Byul and remained there as she said, "I think you know what I mean when I say it's suggestive of something I don't think you want following you." Byul visibly swallowed, her skin whitening a bit as Amber's intentions really started to gel. Her expression returned to Yongsun. "You both can go all the way here. But -- " her hand waved over her own face as she stated with decades of buried shame, " -- it's harder if you can't hide." Byul and Yongsun stared at each other as Amber bit her bottom lip and chuckled. "Mm. Not everyone's gonna look with my eyes though so . . . who knows." Her head sashayed from side to side, "Hopefully things will change. But you both **have** to be there when it does." 

Yongsun's arms dropped to her side as she nodded and exhaled. "Well you definitely took a risk by coming in and saying all these things Amber-nim, and I know Byul-ah and I greatly appreciate it." She stepped back as if she were about to lower into a prostrated bow, but Amber took her hand before that could happen.

"Don't do that. I hate myself a little for what I just told you. Because it was wonderful. And an amazing performance." Amber dropped the hand that held Yongsun's and extended it to Byul. "Still friends, Byul-ah?" Byul conceded with an affirming nod. Dropping her hand, Amber smoothed out the linings of her blazer, her hand rubbing the back of her neck that was exposed by her short haircut, giving the Mamamoo members an opportunity to let the fact she was likely speaking from experience really sink in. "Thank you for your time, ladies. Once again, you're both amazing on that stage, I can't wait to see what you do in the future."

Yongsun and Byul gave Amber dismissing bows and waves as she went to the door and left them to absorb the rest of the conversation that wasn't. Yongsun was the first to speak. "She's kind. But she's wrong." Byul's gaze snapped so fast to Yongsun she very nearly whipped herself to the ground. Yongsun's arms folded at her waist as her eyes returned to Byul, they were somehow firey and unphased by the words that had been tossed her way. "Maybe we can't do a subunit **right now**. But we were good out there. We were just talking about it. So . . . we'll wait." Yongsun crossed to the nearby couch and picked up Byul's bag and handed it to her. "And she is **very** presumptuous for saying otherwise. No one is condemned to live someone else's life." 

The hand that didn't take the bag offered to her twitched at Byul's side, a desire to reach for Yongsun, perhaps pull her into a kiss . . . one hadn't happened in over a month. There was an unspokenness of denial that prevented them from talking about those moments. That way they remained flash in the pan alternate steps rather than the acknowledgment, the **full** acknowledgment, something evolving between them. It was like living through flashes of another life. Only Amber was telling them that the remnants of those bright flashes had bled through onto the stage, into the camera. But Yongsun was also right. No two people live the same life. And it was out of respect for that possibility that Byul simply offered up her arm to Yongsun as they exited the dressing room. 

\-----------------------

Rapper line donned dark green Mickey sweaters while Angel line matched them with red, Christmas colors for their Christmas-born member. The v live began with all four members singing Happy Birthday to Byul who sat at the far end of the table, on Yongsun's right, with a cat ear headband on. "Hit her! Hit her!" Wheein cried, already insistent on getting to the birthday spankings.

"Let me pray first!" Byul contended as she stood in front of the cake to blow out the candles. Wheein waved the wand in her hand across Byul's arm, appeasing her need as the rapper blew the candles out to applause. 

"What did you wish for?" Wheein asked.

"That we would win first place next year!" Yongsun cried, and Byul clutched her chest in laughter as she fell back to her seat. 

"Here's your present," Wheein said, handing Byul a bag over the leader who immediately chastised,

"Of all the times you could have given it to her, did you have to do it during the broadcast?" As if surprised at her outburst, Yongsun covered her mouth and laughed while Byul rummaged through the bag. "How strategic!" 

Hyejin stood up, her hair already dyed bright orange for their next comeback which they had yet to tell MooMoos would be in a few short months' time, "I thought we were going to all give it to her after the broadcast." The girls giggled as Byul stood and asked Yongsun to move so she could hug Wheein. Yongsun maintained the barrier, provoking Wheein to lung across Yongsun to hug Byul. 

"I'm going to give mine tomorrow," Yongsun informed as soon her juniors quelled the urge to squash her to death between them. 

"And I woke up this morning to pick mine," Hyejin claimed, cracking Wheein and Byul up. 

"I would've gotten her gift today. I even considered borrowing money from Byulie so I could buy it today." Byul shoved Yongsun for her honesty but the leader just shrugged as Wheein interjected,

"Why didn't you borrow money from me?"

"Because then she wouldn't have time to order the imported cheese and have it get here by tonight," Hyejin teased, reminding Yongsun of what she had left in a large shopping bag in the dressing room a few months prior for Hyejin's birthday. 

"And a week later it was still in the refrigerator in the exact same place. MooMoos want you to sing happy birthday to me again. Do it in harmonies this time!" Byul commanded.

"Why are you ordering?" Hyejin asked.

"It's the first time I've ordered. 1-2-" and just like that the Leader and Two Young Girls broke out into perfect harmonies, something that to the outside world no doubt looked like a talented trick, but the four of them knew how many grueling hours it took to learn how their voices blended together, and the sound that appeared instinctual was the product of more mistakes than successes. 

The v live continued with several more word and name games, (all of which Yongsun took very competitively), including the challenge of adding their ages together, saying their "running order" stage names backward, naming in rapid succession menu items of food they enjoyed, and of course, games that showcased how well they could match pitch when given different prompts, usually instigated by Byul seeing as how she was the birthday girl. "Someone asked us if we're drunk," Byul said through a chuckle to which Wheein replied,

"Well it **is** us . . . " something that for sure summed up the entirety of the broadcast as they continued to mess with each other for the amusement of the people watching.

Afterward, all four of them took the party elsewhere aka the more centralized location of Byul's apartment -- her sister was already camped out at their parents' place until New Years -- where they sat around the singer's keyboard, drank, laughed, and most importantly sang. The mood was light and free until Hyejin leaned forward from where she was laying on Byul's bed and with a large swig of her beer asked,

"All right. Enough is enough. Are we ever going to address the moon and sun painted elephant in the room?" Wheein stopped the melody she was plucking out on the piano while Yongsun and Byul uncoupled from where they were reclining on the far edge of the bed. "See? Like that right there. What's with you two?"

"Nothing," Yongsun sputtered, "I have no idea what -- "

"Honestly we were a little hurt you didn't say anything after the pictures came out," Wheein interrupted, the alcohol loosening all their tongues against formalities and pleasantries, "but we figured it was your business. **Guess** it still is." 

"Mmhmm," Byul added, crossing to the phone dock and pulling up a mellow, lyric-less song. 

"You two don't think Wheein and I haven't messed around?" Wheein immediately pounced on Hyejin, spilling a few drops of Hyejin's beer onto Byul's duvet. Yongsun and Byul had mirrored, clamped hands over their mouths. 

"Omo," Yongsun muttered, "really?" Wheein sat up from where she had been actively assaulting Hyejin for revealing their secret, keeping her hands near the maknae's throat.

"It doesn't mean anything," Wheein insisted, "We both still really, **really** love guys." Hyejin shrugged.

"But you know -- days and nights, weeks and months, it's a long time not to have anyone. You're alone, you're tipsy, the other person is really soft," Hyejin ran a finger around Wheein's hair, "there's nothing wrong with it. Morally. If that's what you're worried about." Byul returned her attention to the phone dock, deciding the song wasn't the speed she was looking for, avoiding whatever look Yongsun was potentially giving her. She was and wasn't surprised when she turned around and Yongsun was instead still staring at the maknaes. "Either way, if there something like that, I guess I just want you both to know I love you no matter what, ok?" Yongun's face scrunched up as she kicked Hyejin, nearly toppling the Two Young Girls to the ground.

"You spend too much time with Byul, unnie," Yongsun scolded.

"That record belongs to you, unnie," Wheein clarified as she picked up a nearby stuffed animal and tossed it at Yongsun's face. Byul laughed and while neither she nor Yongsun addressed what Hyejin had broached, for the hours that remained in the evening before both of the maknaes decided it was time to leave, she internally felt like a massive chain had been removed from around her heart.

After she and Yongsun had seen the younger pair to the door, Hyejin lifting an eyebrow in their direction one last time, Byul let the swirling sensations of the alcohol take control to loosen her lips, "I had no idea they noticed." 

Stepping into the small living room, Yongsun splayed across the couch as she bemoaned, "I hate to say it but I don't know if I pay much attention to them outside of the studio. At least not all the time. I feel bad about that. I've got to do better. Hyejin probably doesn't think I like her." Yongsun's face flushed itself into the cushion. "And that couldn't be less true. I wish I could be more like her." Byul slowly strolled up beside her and sat on the opposite side of the couch. 

"Careful now. You'll become as greasy as the rest of us." Yongsun's head emerged for air. 

"I mean it though. And yeah, I had no idea they were watching us that closely. Or at all." Byul nodded as she resisted the urge to smooth Yongsun's hair out of her face. Slowly the older woman sat up, the red in her face deepening from the alcohol-soaked blood swirling in her system. She tugged the sleeves of the sweatshirt up. 

"Are you going to be sick?" Byul asked, "You drank more than your usual." Yongsun's face peppered a smile followed by a ghost of a laugh as her slightly slurred speech muttered,

"How do you know what my limit is?" Yongsun slowly turned herself into an upright sitting position, her head lulling back against the cool cushions as she closed her eyes and worked to keep her breathing under control. Byul shook her head, folding her hands via the fulcrum dip of elbows to her knees. Her gaze remained firmly forward, her mind racing, teetering dangerous words on the tip of her tongue. Words she wasn't going to let loose because it was her birthday and she didn't know where they would lead. Yongsun's soft voice broke the brief silence. "Are you nervous about what is being said about us?" Byul's attention remained distant a handful of beats before she turned to Yongsun fully. "If the maknaes saw . . . the CEOs still haven't said anything since that day . . . but the fans . . . I see their comments. Hear the whispers, see the pointing at fan signs, fingers that pass from you to me. Doesn't -- doesn't it make you nervous sometimes?" Yongsun's hands planted against her eyes in a large slap. "Then there was that horrendous business with fucking Amber Liu last month, Jesus what a -- " Yongsun's hands slumped down with a loud plop against the cushion, her eyes squelched shut. "It feels . . . sometimes it's . . . "

"We're friends," Byul stated cleanly, crisply, "close friends. That's what we've always projected because it's always been the truth. We fight, we makeup, we laugh and do things together like best friends always have and always do. Hell, I'd wager we're soulmates give it enough time." Byul chuckled, hearing the idea aloud for the first time, knowing it didn't need any confirmation to be plausible, "Fans throughout time have misinterpreted skinship and looks and the smallest things. No one can control it. They'll do what they want, we were told this during training. Me, twice over from one big label company to now, it doesn't change, it transcends money distribution." Byul shifted back against the couch, her pinky one little tick away from Yongsun's, **just** out of reach; that same tiny finger twitched. "What is it you want?" 

The question in Byul's eyes was deeper than the one passing her lips and when Yongsun looked at Byul she saw how far that chasm went. So far **in**. They were both drunk. **Really** drunk. And once again Yongsun was staring at the full curving form of Byul's upper lip. "What I **need** is to sleep this off," Yongsun by-passed, reaching over to unplug her phone from the charger, "I should have some money in my account for the taxi. It is past midnight after all." Byul stared at the ceiling while Yongsun ordered the ride that would be there in a frustratingly short amount of time. They waited in silence, occasionally looking at one another, mostly staring up and away, eyes sometimes open, sometimes closed. A few minutes passed then Yongsun looked at her phone. "The taxi will be here in two minutes, I better go get my things." Yongsun stood and slowly, precariously crossed into Byul's bedroom. Her slushy brain observed the minimal decor, noticing the arrangement of pictures clipped to large strands of hangers. In the center of the photographs hung one of her during her solo portion of their LA fan sign, the edits making her look like a shining queen in the midst of an endless, adoring crowd. Yongsun swallowed a large lump in her throat. _How you see me . . ._ She hauled her bag across her shoulder entered the hallway. Byul who met her halfway to the door. She followed at Yongsun's back until they stopped and Yongsun turned and wrapped Byul in a tight hug. "Happy birthday, Byul-ah," Yongsun whispered, feeling how tight Byul was holding her and at first wanting to disengage, but instead defied her own set of expectations and let Byul be the one to let go of the embrace. 

Yongsun smiled softly and went to turn the handle when she felt Byul's front flush against her back. "Wait," Byul whispered, her hands clutching at Yongsun's shoulders as the word whispered through her hair and across the dip of her ear. Yongsun froze, her eyes closed, her shoulder dropped her bag to the floor. Her head was swimming with suggestion, her body turning into limp jelly so that when Byul spun her around and wrapped her back up in her arms she didn't fight the kiss that followed. Byul tasted sweet from the peach flavored soju, and the longer their lips moved together, the more her body remembered how long it had been since they had shared any intimate physical affection.

After a few seconds of kissing, Yongsun ripped the backward hat she had been wearing off her head, her hands at Byul's waist walking them all the way to the couch. At the last moment though, before Yongsun could pile herself onto Byul, the dancer's quick foot clipped against Yongsun's Achilles' heel, and Yongsun's back hit the cushions. Byul's weight atop her was intoxicating, their interlocked legs moving in time with their kisses as Byul's thigh pressed against Yongsun's center, making the older woman break the kiss with a gasp. Byul's leg pressed down again, and Yongsun moaned louder. Yongsun's eyes opened to see Byul looking down at her. "Are you all right?" Yongsun nodded and in further response, drew her hands beneath Byul's sweatshirt and gripped her waist. "Fuck it," Byul whispered, stripping the sweatshirt off and throwing it onto the floor. 

The living room's light was soft, and Byul's lithe form moved with cat-like agility as Yongsun's hands explored up Byul's back, around her waist, across the bra padding at her chest. But the sensation of her hands against Byul's skin wasn't enough, and seconds later she yanked her own sweatshirt over her head and cast it aside to join Byul's green one on the floor. When they rejoined their lips this time, the connection of so many points of skin to skin made them both moan. Byul's leg came up hard between them. This time, Yongsun's hips ground down, the frustration and delight of the tension it was playing against her most sensitive spots stirring her further as Byul did it again and again. Byul's mouth trailed from Yongsun's lips to the crook of her neck where she began to bite and massage with her tongue and teeth, Yongsun's short fingernails gripping and digging tight against Byul's shoulders as their hips began to find a back and forth rhythm against the pressure. Yongsun's teeth sunk into Byul's shoulder seconds later as a feeling of rushed white flooded the back of her eyelids. 

Yongsun's phone went off for the fifth time letting her know she was being charged for a missed ride. She wouldn't see it until the morning.


	3. Words Don't Come Easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I can't express this feeling, grabbing your body between us  
> Catch me, I want you to get anxious  
> Catch me, you are sweet, you dry my throat  
> This night is getting deeper  
> I couldn't even imagine  
> (Private party) We are left behind  
> I'll start, you can pass your thoughts when you hug  
> Your whisper: Words don't come easy  
> Trembling of fingertips: Words don't come easy  
> This feeling now: Words don't come easy  
> Words don't come easy, grabbing your body between us  
> Close your eyes: Words don't come easy  
> Words don't come easy . . "

"You're so indecisive, what I'm saying, tryna catch the beat, make up your heart. Don't know if you're happy or complaining. Don't want for us to end, where do I start? First, you wanna go to the left, then you wanna turn right. Wanna argue all day, making love all -- shit," Yongsun's finger skirted off the guitar string and clipped the edge of her index fingernail, missing the transition of the chord. She brought the digit up to inspect the damage and grumbled, the nail would need to be fixed but the metal hadn't cut anything. Served her right for practicing "plucking" with even a **hint** of a nail. _Easy Sunday my ass._ Setting the guitar against the nightstand, she got up from her bed, nearly taking the duvet with her from the static cling of how long she had been stationed in one spot. She would have been on her feet and out the door if not for the sound of a quiet little "clank!" from the opposite side of the bed, as if something soft but solid had hit the floor. Circling the end of the frame, Yongsun knelt down and picked up a cap, the words "Sell Romantic" embossed across the front. _This is her favorite. I can't believe she hasn't realized it's gone missing._ Walking it into the living room where she had left her phone on the charger, determined to focus sans distractions and interruptions for at least an hour on practice, she picked the phone up and snapped a picture of the front of the hat, adding the text, "Thanks for the present." Smirking, she navigated to a newly sent message. She had a missed call from her manager and a text requesting her to call CEO Jim-Woo asap.

Hot Panic flooded her system as she returned the call wishing this wasn't happening on her day off, mostly because she was better in person than on the phone, but her inner calm told her there was nothing to worry about until given reason. "Kim Yongsun so sorry to bother you on your day off, but I was just calling to tell you some wonderful news. We've booked you on a reality program, one of high profile! We are so pleased they want to work with you!"

"Oh?" Yongsun asked, equal parts nervous and excited at the prospect, "Which one?"

*************

Byul paused from where she stood in the middle of the department store and grinned as she read Yongsun's message, though no one would have seen it with her face hidden behind her mask and glasses. She **had** looked for that cap this morning and was very nearly furious enough to not leave her apartment at the thought of having lost it. It was only when it appeared in the picture she remembered wearing it over there yesterday. They had been writing after rehearsal and she had fallen asleep in Yongsun's bed. **Sleep** was all that happened . . . **unfortunately** . . . for several nights in a row now as the group seemed to do little else but work on flushing out their first full album. It must have slipped off her head soon thereafter and it had been a quick brush out the door because even on their days off, Byul had plenty to do. "I would sooner remove my own arm than give up that hat. But you may wear it to rehearsal tomorrow to return to me." Byul's fingers tapped the side of her phone as her left canine swiped across her bottom lip in contemplation before she added, "You look sweet in backward hats so it would be acceptable to be caught in," and then hit the send button.

It was Byul's brother's birthday soon, and she was finally able to get him a decent gift with the earnings they had harvested after the new year which meant she was definitely looking at some suit blazers. She had brought their manager with her to help pick some things out, her husband close to her brother's size, and neither felt any further escort would be necessary as long as Byul kept her face covered. Mamamoo wasn't in danger of being accosted at the airport . . . just yet . . . but sometimes if fans looked too long some things couldn't be passed off as coincidence and security detail was needed to rescue them to more secure locations. Their manager felt safest with Byul, though, especially for a quick specific trip like this one. They were on their third selection, the one that looked to be the winner in a robust cobalt blue color when Yongsun started blowing up Byul's phone, ringing without dissuasion for three missed attempts. On the fourth Byul picked up and had barely said "hello" or "what's going on?" before Yongsun blurted out, "They've booked me on 'We Got Married.'"

Byul froze, one arm filled with a few clothing items for herself -- a matching pajama set for Yongsun's birthday next month -- her manager a few feet away already chatting up a sales associate about alterations. Her throat was crusted over with gaffing tape, scratching as if it had been placed against sand, but still, she managed to croak out, "Do -- do you want me to come over?" Yongsun's reply was somehow both frantic and terrifyingly level.

"Tell me you know why this is happening. Don't make me tell you out loud." Byul did. She one hundred percent did. _This is repercussions . . . **punishment** . . . for the Dispatch photos. This is ground control repairing what they perceive as damage._

"I hear you," Byul answered, her own voice now settling into an all-new level of even that was unsettled even her. "Do you want me to come over?" _Please don't swallow this poison alone._

"Do what you want," Yongsun flippantly dismissed, "I was going to run some errands but now I -- " Byul reached into her pocket and pulled out a pen.

"What do you need?"

"I -- what?"

"Give me your list. I'll take care of it on the way over." There was a small pause before Yongsun relayed her small grocery list. "All right, well, make sure you aren't in the shower so you can buzz me in," Byul's attempt at lightening the mood landed poorly even to her. She groaned and turned to the manager who was finishing up with the associate and knew she was going to have a bit of a time ditching her considering Byul was supposed to head back to the studio to fill out some paperwork. But she could manage. She **had** to manage. "I'll see you in an hour," Byul promised and hung up the phone.

Two hours later Byul was knocking on Yongsun's door. When there was no immediate answer, she pressed her ear against the wood and listened. There wasn't the sound of footsteps coming toward her so she juggled the keys from her pockets after she re-arranged her bags and used her spare. Once inside, the first thing she noticed was the sound of a running motor and knew exactly where Yongsun was and why she hadn't heard her knock. There was no way to not startle her but Byul would try. Moving around the corner of the hallway, Byul set her bags down and waved at Yongsun who was across the room, running on her treadmill, earphones keeping her tone-deaf to the world. Yongsun's sweaty brow turned in Byul's direction as her arms and legs pumped against her pursuit to nowhere, and instantly she nearly fell forward on her face. "Fuck!" she screamed as she yanked the headphones out of her ears and braced her feet on the sides of the treadmill, turning the machine off. Yongsun gripped the handlebars as Byul tried and failed to stifle a laugh. "I knew it was a dumb idea to give you that key."

"Someone had to have one and Yonghee lives across the city," Byul said, "want me to put the groceries away?"

"No, I'll do it," Yongsun insisted, her skin glistening as she walked through the apartment, retrieved the packages Byul had lifted back into her hands and crossed into the kitchen. Byul didn't even try not to notice how some darker pieces of fabric clung to Yongsun's chest, her waist, the sports bra, the short shorts. Against the soundness of her judgment, she couldn't control the fact her libido was quietly being worked into an imagined frenzy. But only for a second because as quickly as her sex drive examined Yongsun's body, her mind reverted back to why she was here in the first place. And Yongsun's emerging presence reminded her once again.

"So . . . what did CEO oppa say exactly?" Yongsun had uncapped a bottle of water and was drinking it as she and Byul sat on opposite sides of the couch in the living room. Definitive distance apart. Byul was, in times of greater stresses -- or other intensities -- learning how to read Yongsun's body language and attempting to be accommodating. It frustrated her, frequently, that Yongsun didn't seem to make the same concessions.

"After the comeback, **during** promotions, I will be shooting my episodes. We're just a secondary couple so -- nothing too extravagant." Byul bit the inside of her cheek as Yongsun took another swallow of water.

"Anyone we know?" Yongsun shook her head.

"They wouldn't tell me." Byul nodded, unsure what questions she was supposed to ask, and based on Yongsun's body language, she was beginning to wonder if she was even wanted here at all, Yongsun hadn't looked at her directly since she arrived. Surely if she had wanted privacy she would've said so. Or would she? "Let me get your hat so you can get back to your day. How much do I owe you for the groceries?" Byul's heart plummeted into her stomach as Yongsun traipsed into the bedroom and back. "What?" she asked, finally acknowledging Byul with some eye contact as she stood in the crest of the hallway, holding Byul's hat aloft in one hand while the other upturned in a brief pause.

Byul stood and crossed to Yongsun, snatching the hat out of her hand and biting at her, "Don't worry about it," through gritted teeth as she turned to go. Yongsun seized the dip of Byul's elbow, spinning Byul on the spot before she yanked herself free.

"What's your problem?" Yongsun asked, "Let me pay you for the groceries!" A bitter laugh sputtered through Byul's lips before they snapped shut.

 _I was stupid for thinking you would allow me to help you_ , was the last thing Byul thought before she charged for the door yet again and this time, Yongsun wasn't fast enough to stop her. She was halfway down the hall when she heard a loud bellow from the other end, "YAH!" in Yongsun's voice. Byul stopped in her tracks, very nearly to the stairwell door. In her mind's eye, she could almost see her leader framed by the doorway, the lean in her upper body indicating the indecisive physical struggle as to whether she should come after her or not, knowing she can't call Byul by her name. No one knew who lived on this floor. So it would be on Byul to turn. Which she did, and she was right. Yongsun's arms were clutched tight around her chest, her slight stature encapsulated by the doorway's silhouette. Yongsun briefly shifted her feet from side to side before leaning forward and commanding in a stage whisper, "Come back -- " Byul inhaled sharply through her nose and with the exhale took slow steps to close the distance. She kept herself just outside of Yongsun's reach as the pair glanced around to make sure no one was leaving the only two surrounding apartments on the hall. Yongsun's whole body continued to fidget. "Don't leave like that."

Byul could see the penance on Yongsun's face but she wanted words. The silence that followed told her that wish was in vain. Taking a few steps forward she walked Yongsun back into the apartment obscuring them from view unless anyone was standing directly behind them. The door remained open as Byul advanced, smelling sweet salt against Yongsun's cheek as she pecked it briefly. "I'm angry too," she whispered, her tone indicative of much more than the slight spat that had just occurred. Yongsun was still very clearly trying hard to process what had happened -- what could possibly happen with this new addition to her schedule . . . to her life -- what would be expected of her in a way that she had embarrassingly never thought would occur, and Byul could only imagine the tidal waves raging inside her right now. But she had let Yongsun know she wasn't alone, she couldn't always stay and drive the point home, even when part of her would always want to.

Running a hand gently down Yongsun's arm, the skin cool beneath her touch from dried perspiration, Byul gave Yongsun a smile and this time when she turned, the leader did nothing to stop her. She expected Yongsun to at the very least call or text sometime on the drive home, but when she pulled into her complex's underport, her phone was absent any messages.

That night, Byul turned her phone off and scribbled out the words to a song she wanted to have put on the album. Sparse ideas from the last few days brainstorming with Yongsun had given her a smattering of images but now the entirety of the song's tone and the juxtaposition of its fury had gelled into a wanting desire to just -- progress -- was doing its thing and manifesting itself into a medium Byul never second-guessed, even when she stumbled. The fever frenzy of lyrics that came pouring out felt transcendental as if she had tapped on a vein and in doing so all of this immensity was just cascading from her mind through her hand and onto the page. She scratched through a lot of lines but by the end of it, she had something presentable, snapping a picture of the lyrics and sending them to their partner composer, re-reading one section in particular to herself: "I'm already melted in your hands, I'm dancing, like a butterfly playing in the sweet smell of honey. You know even if you don't say what you want."

*******************

Byul leaned closer to the dampener as she closed her eyes and spat out her verse for the song, her tongue fast and her lips hot, "These days I'm holding a sleeping tissue instead of you. The reason why phone playlists are full of sad songs. I think it will comfort my heart like this song but I miss you. Everyone goes through a breakup why am I acting like this? I'm even worse today," before all three other members' voices swelled in behind in distant harmony, only for Yongsun to belt out an extended bending note before the music changed keys after two orchestral pops.

Byul and Yongsun stared at one another from the opposite sides of the studio booth, the final pass over for their big ballad on the new album was easiest to record in the final pass over with all of them at the same time. Wheein and Hyejin stood between them, and as Yongsun's voice echoed beneath Hyejin's for their shared part she made sure her gaze stayed locked with Byul's for the briefest of seconds as if her voice and her eyes could convey if not the exact words, then the intent behind them and how they matched with their current world. It only lasted a moment, and Yongsun was unsure whether the subliminal message had been delivered considering seconds later Byul's repeat of the song's mantra "So much I miss you," demanded she turn back into the shadow of the microphone dampener. As the primary vocalists' runs wrapped around the end of the song, their voices settling down past the ride the roller coaster within, a voice of one of their composers, Hwang Yu Bin came through the studio speaker, "Perfect ladies, take a breather."

"Thank you!" All four members replied in unison, knowing that a breather wasn't a real break, but grateful for the opportunity to pause for some water after the vocal gymnastics the song had required.

"How is it blistering in this room? It's so cold outside it could snow," Hyejin said, wiping her forehead on the hem of her shirt.

"Your beauty is keeping us hot," Byul teased, making Wheein laugh.

"Oh, that's funny?" Hyejin asked, playfully swiping at Wheein's arm.

"Hysterical," Wheein answered, "although isn't Yongsun unnie the sun? I'm surprised you didn't make fun of her." Byul took a large swallow of water as she and Yongsun shared a quick glance before Byul forced a smile and said,

"She's the low hanging fruit." Yongsun's smile was polite but sad as Hyejin quickly interjected,

"Speaking of low hanging fruit, have you heard, **finally** who your new husband is going to be?"

"Yes, tell us, did the matchmaker finally find you a matchless man?" Wheein asked, "At least he won't be a dog, no one goes to broadcast with an ugly mug."

"Unless it's Hyejin when she wakes up," Byul interjected. Hyejin offered Byul an arm slap of her own.

"First I'm beautiful enough to boil a room and now I'm a sleeping monster?" Byul shrugged as the Loser Crew's laughter rose in volume. It was cut to the quick by Yongsun's interruption,

"It's Eric Nam."

The room went deathly quiet until another voice boomed into the studio, their CEO Kim Do-hoon was also a songwriter on this track, "His manager said he's really looking forward to working with you." It startled all four of them and Hyejin and Wheein laughed at the embarrassed looks on the others' faces. Byul on the other hand was very much invested in drinking down the rest of the water in her bottle.

Yongsun nodded in the direction of the see-through glass, the top of their CEO's head obstructed by a computer screen the only part of him in sight. "I'm looking forward to it as well," she said brightly. Byul stood and asked,

"Do we have time for a restroom break?"

"Quickly," was the reply and as she exited the studio. Yongsun waited for a beat before following her out. Mild protestations about where she was going echoed through the room but Yongsun maintained her stride until she was out the door and closing the distance behind Byul.

"Byul-ah!" Yongsun called, pulling the rapper's attention over her shoulder though her stride didn't slow by a step.

"Did you have to go too?" Byul asked as they turned a hall that was mostly vacant except for one small passing group. The pair stopped and bowed saying hello before migrating into the restroom. Yongsun checked to see if they were alone and upon seeing no one, attempted once again to wrangle Byul's attention.

"I just wasn't ready to talk about it that day," Yongsun stated, and Byul stopped mid-way to the toilet. She pointed forward indicating she'd need a minute and though Yongsun rolled her eyes, she nodded and waited for Byul to finish her business. When the younger girl re-emerged, they had company so Byul was sure to take her time washing and drying her hands until they were alone again. Yongsun's shoulders rested against the far wall, arms crossed as Byul advanced, tossing the recyclable paper towel into the nearby bin.

"He's basically a talk show host. What do they think you two will have in common?" Yongsun shrugged.

"I doubt long-term happy marriage is part of their requirements," Yongsun stated, "and it's only a few weeks. They'll pay me, Byul-ah, and not a little." Byul bit the inside of her cheek, feeling it flush. "Don't look at me like that, you know what I mean. Idols do crazy shit like this all the time." Byul's eyes dropped but her whisper was crystal clear as she stated,

"But not every idol gets shipped off to a 'beard' program when they're caught in their bandmates' arms." Yongsun shook her head.

"Beard?" Byul shrugged looking back up at her.

"It means a fake, presentable partner. Usually, one that mimics . . . well, what you're going to be mimicking." Yongsun stared at her for several seconds as the full indicator of what Byul said sunk in. She had suspected, no, she **knew** this decision was directly linked to the Dispatch photos. But to hear the -- **filthy** way Byul was describing it . . . it felt more suffocating and sinister. One would have to comply. One would have to watch.

Shaking her head free of the dark path she was treading toward, Yongsun's finger jabbed into Byul's shoulder. "Don't be melodramatic," she chided, "it's all just pretend. Like playing house in front of a camera." Byul licked her lips and headed toward the door, and they both, unbeknownst to them shared a very similar thought: _A very **particular** form of house._ As they walked back to the studio, Yongsun was struck with an idea,

"What are you doing next Monday?" Byul shrugged.

"It's our day off, probably go see eomma since appa is out of town. Why?"

"Mind if I tag along?" Byul's eyebrows knit together.

"I suppose you could. But why?"

"Make sure it's in the morning. We'll want our afternoon free." Yongsun opened the door for both of them to step into the studio, Hyejin tying her shirt into a knot just below her chest as Wheein ran a few vocal a capella scales.

********************

Stepping into the hustle of Gwangjang Market, Byul tugged her hat a little tighter over her ears as she asked, "What exactly are we doing here?" Byul was surprised they had managed to get out of any last-minute detail duties after the recording for the album finished up. Yongsun had insisted they all get their day off, though, considering their schedule looked more jam-packed than ever and a day off wasn't going to be a luxury, it seemed, until some time in the summer.

"We're here to stock our fridges and to eat well," Yongsun explained through her own matching facemask. "Yours is basically bare," she noted, pointing her finger first to Byul's stomach and then up as her fingers locked around Byul's wrist, tugging her toward a particularly colorful station, "Best to get the non-perishables before we eat."

The market was lively even for a Monday afternoon. It was usually packed with bodies, something that was both good and bad for the coverage the pair would need as they mingled through the outdoor stalls. Reflective shades of bright yellows, oranges, reds, and blues painted across their features as Yongsun sorted through the loose herbs in larger bins, bringing a few to her nose to smell first and then to Byul. "Some things are closer to turning the stronger they smell," Yongsun noted, parroting a bit of information Yonghee told her once when she tried to teach her how to make fresh stock for yukgaejang.

"Unnie should be careful when inhaling," Byul teased, "those big nostrils will have you sneezing all over the vendors' products."

"Aww-AH!" Yongsun retorted, giving Byul a shove but already glad Byul was beginning to embrace the spirit of the venture. Byul's taste was extravagant but not in a bourgeois way, she just liked luxurious things and that wasn't limited to her food. When she ate at all these days anyway, something Yongsun had definitely noticed, hence the uptick in her herbs and spices recommendation. They hand-picked at least five separate bags of necessities, storing their purchases in one of the two backpacks they had brought along with them before roaming on to a section lined with fresh vegetables.

"This place smells incredible. It's been a while since I've been here," Byul happily noted over the loud rise and fall of voices and kitchen instruments being used to cook at various stands around the market. She was keeping her eyes peeled for the inevitable tteokbokki cart she knew Yongsun would want to stop at, and while her nose was definitely peaked at the scentful sensations swirling around her, she wasn't nearly as moved by them as the fact that Yongsun had yet to let go of her hand since they wandered into the throngs of people. Likely so they didn't get separated. But also probably only partially.

"It's only going to get harder to do these sorts of things," Yongsun said as they stopped in front of a vegetable cart and she lifted up a handful of carrots to inspect, "so that's why I thought today would be a good idea."

"Do you really think so? Are our sasaengs just around the corner?" Byul asked, reaching over the vegetables and straight for the fruit, inspecting the way the strawberries brushed lightly against her fingertips.

"I do," Yongsun said, placing the carrots down only to reach up and smack the back of Byul's hand, "don't spoil your appetite," she chided playfully. Byul rubbed the back of her hand and sneered, although the expression was far less threatening when all Yongsun could see was the top of Byul's face. Yongsun started to laugh so Byul dug her finger into the older woman's sides and twisted when she felt herself grab a handful of side-ab.

"You don't have your whip, today, Leader-nim," she teased, hugging Yongsun from behind as the pair moved forward, slowly now that they had to do so as a unit. But Yongsun didn't try to step out of Byul's arms as they both approached a pile of apples. They examined the fruit until they had selected the best ones and placed them in a plastic bag to be purchased. This of course required disengagement, but just before Byul dropped her arms from Yongsun's waist, the leader squeezed Byul's wrist, her thumb running over the inner bone that poked out below the rapper's thumb with a massaging gentleness that pinkened Byul's ears.

Following a few more purchases, Yongsun and Byul settled at a small table adjacent to the tteokbokki vendor they had just recently purchased their lunch from. Yongsun distributed the spicy sauced rice cakes between them, keeping most for herself since Byul had also ordered a few bindaetteok. Yongsun was pleased to see Byul exhibit a bit of an appetite as they ate hungrily while being careful to keep their faces covered if there wasn't food in a direct path to their mouth. After a few bites, Byul nodded and said, "This was a good idea." Yongsun smiled behind her mask.

"I've been known to have a few of those," she replied, reaching over and picking a piece of the pancake from Byul's plate before she could be stopped. Byul giggled and shifted the plate between them.

"You don't have to steal." Yongsun's eyes widened.

"Tell that to the scar on my middle finger from where you stabbed me with your chopsticks the day you brought over some of your eomma's kimchi." Byul's eyes narrowed.

"That's different. That's kimchi," she retorted, sticking another rice cake past her lips.

"It was on **my** plate!" Byul nodded.

"Statement stands," she insisted. Yongsun rolled her eyes but a smile followed. Byul returned it. A few more seconds of silence passed between them before Yongsun's tone turned serious.

"I know you don't think it's fair," Yongsun began, her chopsticks idly shifting pieces of her remaining tteokbokki and fish cakes to opposite sides of the bowl, "but I think we both know between the two of us, there's only one plausible person for them to select for the show." Byul's collar burned at Yongsun's directness, but she kept her mouth shut. "We both have to stop looking at it as if it's some sort of punishment." Byul chewed harder, she hated it when Yongsun lectured her and she didn't understand why she was doing it now. Her tongue ran across her bottom teeth. "Weirdly, I don't think it has anything to do with us at all." Yongsun lowered her mask to take a swallow from her water bottle before her eyes landed on Byul, their attention locked. _At least she's not shutting down._ "All of it is just pretend. I need you to know that."

Byul slouched back in her chair, tossing the chopsticks onto the plate, suddenly not the least bit hungry any longer. "Will you have to kiss him?"

"You've seen the show. I -- I don't know what all I will be forced to -- " A heavy sigh passed through Yongsun's lips as her thumb and forefinger bent in against the bridge of her nose. Byul stared on at Yongsun for a beat, suddenly feeling guilty, though justified -- there was no one else to share her disdain with -- in her line of questioning, and as her hand reached for Yongsun's, the leader's own turned upward until their fingers were interlaced. Byul swallowed. Hard. Yongsun lowered her mask, but before she could have the chance to find some sort of reply, a cluster of five young people were approaching them trepidatiously.

"Excuse me," the youngest and smallest in the group asked, "are -- are you Mamamoo?" Yongsun turned to the little formed flock, wearing her biggest smile, Byul following suit behind her. She watched the tallest guy in the back pull his phone from his pocket and turn it to them.

"Of course," Yongsun said and the young girl ran right into her arms, nearly knocking Yongsun back. Almost immediately the girl realized her error and hopped back as if shocked.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean -- "

"Don't be silly. Would you like a picture?" Yongsun asked, bringing Byul closer to her as the group nodded, the young man reaching out to a nearby stranger to take the photo. As Yongsun and Byul posed, a few more people stopped, noting what was happening. Finally, someone from a few feet away shouted,

"It's Mamamoo! Mamamoo is here!" and to Yongsun and Byul's bewilderment, suddenly there was the sound larger oncoming movement from further away.

Yongsun and Byul exchanged momentarily startled looks as they stepped back from the group and bowed, saying they had to go as more and more people turned each with phone cameras pinging in their direction. Yongsun flipped her hood over her head as she grabbed her bag, Byul donning her sunglasses as the crowd closed in. Byul shoved Yongsun in front of her as people started to pursue, never fully encroaching, but making the pair have to walk briskly as the ever-growing crowd called their names, asking them to turn around and occasionally they obliged, waving, and in doing so, nearly collided with several bystanders. "We're not going to be able to stay," Yongsun said as Byul nodded, pointing to an exit and with a burst of speed, she wrapped her arm tightly around Yongsun's waist, keeping her forever in front of her, as they raced first around one corner and then another to the exit sign that would lead them to the parking lot.

As soon as they hit clear air, Byul ran further ahead of Yongsun, clutching the other woman's hand in hers as they zig-zagged between cars until they came to the company van. Byul looked over her shoulder and saw that a few people who had been pursuing them were now flooding the far end of the sidewalk but her attention was focused on getting Yongsun safely inside the van. She stayed on Yongsun's side until she was inside and then, keeping low, Byul saddled across the backside of the van until she was at the driver's side and could slip in unawares. The windows were tinted on all sides and now that they were safely away from the onslaught, the winded pair burst out laughing until tears were rolling down their faces. "That was terrifying," Byul said, "The maknaes are going to be so jealous they weren't here!" Yongsun sat up straight all of a sudden.

"We didn't throw our trash away!" she realized aloud. Byul laughed harder, clutching her stomach. It was several minutes before she calmed down enough to drive them away.

****************

A few days after Mamamoo's single, "I Miss You," dropped, RBW announced that Mamamoo's comeback would be at the end of the following month and that a full album with more than one video would be released. So today, the girls had gone to set to film their comically fun new song, "Taller Than You." Yongsun was sitting in a director's chair, pushing against the plush in her cheeks, her bright orange costume reflecting a weird tint beneath the assorted lights as she stared into the small hand mirror. _I'm the only one without a heart-shaped chin. These cheeks look like they belong on an Irish scullery maid._ Byul approached from behind, her black and white slipper knocking Yongsun's crossed leg down and catching the leader's attention. "Aww-AH!" Yongsun cried, hopping out of the chair as the rapper began to retreat in a fit of giggles, swinging her leg up and forward, "you break this mirror and it's **your** bad luck, not mine."

"Surprised it didn't crack with you staring that hard into it," Byul teased, taking a few steps back but automatically recovering her steps as Yongsun turned away, suddenly uninterested in playing. "Oh, no, wait," Byul countered, wrapping her arms around Yongsun's waist and snatching the compact from the leader's hands, shoving it into one of the jumpsuit's many pockets. Byul used her weight to rotate Yongsun a few steps as the leader groaned in her arms. As the maknaes made their way over, the pair caught sight of the Mamamoo TV camera and turned their attention to the lens, feeding each other nonsensical lines until Byul said something particularly scathing. And of course, Yongsun's fists came flying as Wheein stepped in front of the camera while Byul wrestled and struggled away from the attack, laughter echoing from the twosome above everything else. Seconds later the director called for them to jump into the next scene. Literally.

Yongsun asked the camerawoman if she could film a few segments and as Byul walked into her next scene, Yongsun turned the camera toward the hobby horse against the backdrop of an exaggerated height chart. Once playback of the track began, Byul charged toward the large piece of equipment and with a strained jump flew across the large expanse of the padded fixture. Yongsun nearly dropped the camera amongst her gales of laughter. "Your turn!" Byul yelled as Yongsun handed the camera off to Byul and raced into position. She was also successful, landing in a perfectly executed gymnast's pose as Byul peered at her through the camera lens. Sensing the camera was likely in trouble, the MMMTv personal quickly snatched back their equipment as Byul waited for Yongsun to approach with a broad smile and was impressed with the easy swagger in Yongsun's gate. The leader had been on and off in terms of energy for most of the shoot, and while Byul sensed there was likely a league of explanations, (up to and including how hard she had been staring in that mirror), it was important now to keep the energy going so they didn't resent writing such a repetitive and upbeat song to begin with.

As they transitioned into the next segment, Wheein and Yongsun interacted with their "Fan" camera as Byul got her make-up fixed. Once she was properly re-touched, she crossed quietly behind Yongsun and stuck her arms up under the leader's pits and the pair sunk into an interactive interview starring Yongsun's face and Byul's expressive hands. Of course, it all came crashing down as soon as Byul picked Yongsun's nose, flicked the imaginary booger at the camera, and tried to wipe said offending finger around Yongsun's lips, and once again the pair were entangled in a wrestled tango that very nearly ripped their costumes. But at least Byul had made her laugh.

Their next segment's costuming consisted of little black dresses this time, and while they waited near the prop table, Byul plucked up a pink ballet shoe and wielded it at the camera. "Let's play a game," Byul decided to Yongsun who stared at the shoe, her eyes already betraying to the rapper how tired she was already growing. Hence the game. Even a dumb one was enough cause to stay awake.

"All right," Yongsun conceded with a forced smile for the camera's sake.

"Guess the item," Byul said, wrapping the ribbon lace tightly around the grip of the shoe and bringing the toe end to the front of her face, rubbing it against her cheeks as her tongue spun on a "raerrrr" noise.

"Shaving," Yongsun replied giddily.

"It's a razor, but ok, you go," Byul conceded handing Yongsun the shoe. Yongsun turned the shoe out as she made a trilling, "brr, brr," sound then brought the insole to her ear.

"Annyeonhaseyo," Yongsun said with a grin, and Byul's mouth dropped open into an impressed 'o' formation, the leader handing the shoe back to Byul who unraveled the ribbon on one side and keeping the shoe in one hand and the end of the lace against her ear, pressed the toe-shoe against Yongsun's chest.

"Wow, no. No," Yongsun said, "so presumptuous she thinks she can just do this." Byul laughed, handing the shoe back to Yongsun who immediately planted it on top of her head.

"Not your style," Byul commented, taking the shoe off Yongsun's head bringing it to her own face. "Oh, it doesn't smell. It's not been used." She shoved the shoe back in Yongsun's face.

"Aww-AH! I just had a turn," she complained but threw the shoe over her shoulder via its laces and arranged it like a backpack, making Byul laugh so hard she had to lean into her leader. Her hand fluffed Yongsun's bow at the top of her head.

"Doesn't she look dainty?" Byul asked the camera before stepping back with an ever-growing smile. Yongsun rolled her eyes, but once Byul's back was turned she smiled ever so slowly. For a few minutes, she had forgotten about the fact their manager had told her she would be getting an important e-mail that would need her prompt response today, and it had just been the two of them and their antics. She doubted she could create such chemistry with anyone else.

Although it was apparent the producers at "We Got Married" were certainly going to try, because come lunchtime, that e-mail was in Yongsun's inbox. As Byul sat beside her, eating her boxed lunch, shoving another large bite of rice into her mouth, Yongsun read through the consensus contract, stifling groan in the back of her throat as she read one particular line. Byul stopped mid-chew and nudged her. Yongsun stared at her for several seconds, weighing whether she wanted to share, knowing this whole thing was a formality because like with so many acts and responsibilities of Idoldom there wasn't **truly** the option of saying no to certain people. Perhaps it was because of that she turned her phone toward Byul who read what had just made Yongsun's stomach turn: "contestants will be required to share a bed during night time-related activities."

Byul swallowed but it was hard as Yongsun's knee bobbed up and down anxiously, waiting on the other woman's reaction. Byul stared at the phone for a few more beats before handing it back to her after which a hard yank on Yongsun's chair brought the leader sitting right beside her. Beneath the table, Byul rested her hand on Yongsun's thigh, running her fingers gently against the fabric of the jumpsuit as she munched away on the rice. Yongsun breathed a sigh of relief as realized she hadn't shared a bed with anyone . . . well, except **one** person . . . since school ended. And he was so far in her rearview mirror that it seemed a foreign concept to her she would share a bed with anyone else now. _Dammit, why does **that** bother me more than the kissing?_

\------------------------

The Eugenia Spa in Bangkok was the perfect isolated location for Mamamoo to film the video for their title track, "You're the Best." But though they were at a spa, Yongsun seemed more tense than usual. "No, no we have to do it again," seemed to be her mantra for the two-day shoot, pushing her other members to more than one near breaking point. The smiles they had to keep reconfiguring became harder and harder to access the more Yongsun nitpicked their performances. "It's not right, we have to do it again," was also a newly excavated favorite phrase she seemed to be stuck on whenever she looked into the monitor, usually singling out one of the maknae's energy. Eventually, Hyejin got so fed up with their leader that she very nearly knocked her over with her swaying hips, turning after the director called cut to ask her if that was enough "sassy attitude," for the demanding woman. The pair had parted without harsher words, but it definitely didn't make for the fun atmosphere they had managed to create on their last two video shoots. That was until the moment when the members had been playing out by the pool and Yongsun had been leaning over to splash Byul who was at the opposite end and had fallen right in. For a moment the entire team was worried when she didn't immediately re-emerge, but after a beat Yongsun's head crested over the water with a huge smile on her face, begging forgiveness since so much had to be redone.

The mirth of the accident faded by lunchtime however wherein the four of them found themselves sitting on opposite ends of the table as they scrolled through their phones in silence when the director announced they wanted to films some solo shots before they ended for the day. Yongsun volunteered to go first, wanting to get away from the tension she had admittedly created, only to find that when she watched her own moments in playback there was little she found objectively working. To exasperated looks from both Wheein and Hyejin, Yongsun stayed on set to watch them film short scenes, Wheein at a restaurant eating pasta, and while there was still light and they had their male actor, Byul and Hyejin washing a car with the guy in separate stanzas. She said nothing as they all filmed, choosing instead to quietly admire through the teleprompter how stand-out each of the members executed their moments and how perhaps her anxieties from the start had set her off in the wrong direction with them. Still, she said nothing, allowing them to shoot free of any comment from her, only sensing a slight flush hit the back of her neck when the guy whom Byul was interacting with managed to brush some suds across Byul's nose playfully for the camera. Of course, once the scene ended, Byul's adoring smile disappeared and she strolled right over to the video monitor Yongsun was sitting behind. She rested a dried-off hand on her leader's shoulder as the videographer rolled the playback for both of them.

As the day dragged on, the girls changed into pajamas and shuffled their way up to the final scene for the day. Tensions had ebbed but hadn't completely disappeared. The crew informed them it was going to take quite a while to readjust to set up in the cramped hallway into the bedroom and they had to wait for someone to bring a more appropriately sized camera from one of the nearby studios. Without much else to do, all four members piled onto the bed, exhausted from take after take, costume after costume, the admitted flurry and busy nature of this shoot, in particular, contributing to their flared temperaments, although always with each other and never toward anyone else. When they all cuddled together side by side, Yongsun was relieved when Wheein's small, warm palm massaged a small circle on her lower back before turning and spooning Hyejin, the maknae's own hand reaching over, fingers brushing through Yongsun's hair briefly. Yongsun's cheek nuzzled against Hyejin's hand before it retreated and Yongsun turned to face Byul, the two of them laying side by side as Byul's arm draped over Yongsun's torso. They stared at each other for several seconds, Byul grinning at how Yongsun's cheeks pressed against the white sheet, and how adorable it made her look. Byul shifted closer, her fingers twirling and tightening around the hem of Yongsun's pajama top. Neither looked away as they evened and synched their breathing, Yongsun's arm extending above her head and past the black bars of the bed, her other hand slinking up beneath her cheek so she could see Byul better. Byul's palm began to caress between Yongsun's shoulder blades as all four of them listened to the bustling going on downstairs, echoed now against the quiet repose the group was finding themselves in.

All of Yongsun's nerve endings began to relax as she stared at the face she had fallen asleep to several times in the last several years, but somehow, never quite so intimate as this, even with two other people on her other side, even with so many people downstairs. She felt safe. She felt . . . capable. Byul's gaze filled her with the sense that for the first time in a long time, things were maybe going to turn out all right. In the end, anyway. Even though the idea didn't feel certain, it felt . . . manifested, wanted. Her eyes fluttered closed. _All right . . ._

********************

The schedule for the day was almost impossible. Since the video drop for "You're the Best," Mamamoo had been played on more radio shows, streamed more heavily on YouTube and music streaming platform, and the unveiling of the stage was something MooMoos and the team at RBW was greatly anticipating. The four had just shoveled back into their van after leaving a fan sign across town to haul ass to their performance on M! Countdown. "I can't believe you actually did that," Wheein cheered, slapping Byul's knee repeatedly, "I really did. I thought you were going to blurt out this wild confession in front of God and the world." All four of them were guffawing over the memory of what had happened just a little while ago on stage, although it struck none of them as hard as it had Wheein. "I was so embarrassed."

" **You** were embarrassed," Yongsun countered, "imagine if she **had** and I had to find **some** way to let her down gently so I didn't get 'Moster Leader' tagged onto my name after I broke up the group." The four of them howled at the idea, even if Yongsun's tongue in cheek delivery dispelled a cloister of legitimate concerns.

"I was just trying to make up for the fact we had such a busy schedule on your actual birthday we didn't get to celebrate," Byul insisted, semi-blushing at the moment she had embraced the fact she could brandish the words 'I love you' to Yongsun in public via a handed over fan sign, compiling that with the fact Yongsun's response was to lean into her ear and tease they should live together to her, a fact that once revealed managed to ramp the audience up even more. "I suppose we could have at least gotten you a cake." Yongsun rubbed her stomach.

"With these schedules? It's hard enough to eat when I have to but sweets-bloating on top of it? Plus the sugar crashes?"

"I would kill for some tanghulu right now," Hyejin complained, her stomach practically growling in agreeance.

"Do not speak that word in my presence," Byul demanded, tossing a wadded up piece of paper in the direction of the front seat. The driver snapped back at her to be careful making all four of the girls repress another round of laughter.

A few hours later after a lot of crazy traffic and more than one near collision, Mamamoo was walking down the studio's hallway when Byul did a double-take, having caught sight of a name on a door's sign. "Red Velvet are here? I've been wanting to meet them!" Yongsun pushed Byul toward their own tethered off dressing room.

"Later, later," she insisted, trying very hard to make sure no one overheard Byul's request seeing as how there were more than a few people stationed outside and around the new SM Rookie group's door. Still, it had been to no avail as minutes after Red Velvet's performance came to an end, there was a knock at the door.

"I heard you wanted to meet someone," came a sweet voice from a raven-haired beauty, the group's leader, Irene. Mamamoo and Red Velvet stood in front of one another, exchanging polite bows before the formalities died away and immediately, Hyejin and Wheein tugged Wendy and Joy into a corner while both Irene and Yeri flanked the other side of the circle next to Yongsun, the cluster diving into a fun and fidgety exchange that lasted for nearly half an hour as they got to know one another. However, Yongsun's eyes drifted across the room more than once to where Byul and Seulgi shared the couch. Byul seemed incredibly at ease as she leaned casually against the backing, her smile, and laughter big and bright in time with the other group's lead vocalist. Seulgi, in turn, was not bothering to keep any formal distance between them, reflecting Byul's comfort level back at her with a few stray touches at Byul's knee or even against the trace of the rapper's forearm, and more than once Yongsun's attention had to be pulled right back into the conversation, her shyness flaring up worse at the swirling sensations spiking her bloodstream.

Byul on the other hand was seemingly oblivious to the torrential quiet from Yongsun's eyeing direction until Seulgi called attention to it. "I don't think your leader likes me," Seulgi mentioned, throwing Yongsun a wave and a smile, as sincere as she could make. Byul turned over her shoulder and tried to wave Yongsun over but was surprised when Yongsun shook her head and turned her attention back to a story that Joy was telling the group. Shrugging, Byul returned her attention to Seulgi.

"Yongsun unnie is probably the shyest of all of us, and she's likely nervous about the performance on top of that. This is a big comeback for us but she struggled a bit with learning the number. She's a B blood type like me so she worries whenever she thinks she may not be seen as perfect." Byul's hand lept up to cover her mouth as Seulgi giggled. "Oh, please don't tell anyone I said that," she insisted quickly. Seulgi's hand touched Byul's knee.

"Secret's safe with me," she eased, her hand lingering there for a few extra beats as Byul smiled, her cheeks pinkening at the contact. "Listen, I would love to hang out sometime. Can I get your number?"

Yongsun watched as Byul crossed to the make-up mirror counter and fetched her phone, handing it to Seulgi. She shut her eyes and winced. Her stomach was cramping. Luckily seconds later, Irene stood and her group followed suit. "You guys did wonderfully," Yongsun insisted, extending a polite hand out which Irene took and shook gracefully, the woman's beautiful presence making Yongsun feel slightly self-conscious but only just, considering Irene's smile was full of sincerity and warmth as she said,

"We really are huge fans, that's not just smoke. Maybe next time we can hang out longer." Wheein and Hyejin nodded fervently as Byul and Seulgi stood. Yongsun bit the side of her tongue as she watched the pair exchange a brief hug and a wave as Seulgi followed the rest of the group out.

Moments later, Yongsun turned to face the make-up mirror, fussing over her hair as Byul approached her with a ragged sigh as if she had just gone through a work-out. "Why didn't you come over? Seulgi is wonderful. I knew she would be. Frankly, I wanted to meet her out of all of them. Although Irene is beautiful isn't she? The camera doesn't do her near enough justice." Yongsun picked up the lipstick she intended to wear onstage and stared into the mirror as she applied it.

"Same can be said of Seulgi," she observed aloud though her tone didn't carry with it near the same sincerity as Byul's. The rapper shifted her attention into the mirror as well, ensuring she caught her leader's eyes.

"That's more orange than you usually go. Should that apply for all of us?" Yongsun turned and noticed how close Byul was. Both sets of expressions sobered. "Trying to pull attention to your lips?" Byul asked, her eyes darting down to Yongsun's mouth and back up to her eyes very deliberately. Yongsun smirked, a quick exhale passing her lips as she capped the lipstick and tossed it into the counter, clucking her tongue alongside her shifting gaze.

"Five minutes, Mamamoo," a stage manager's head poked in to announce. Yongsun called the maknaes to fall in line as they foursome marched into the hallway, Byul making sure to remember to grab her costume's beret on the way out.

********************

Yongsun's exhaustion levels had hit a new standard by the time they arrived at the studio for their guest spot on "Stardust." Though she wasn't at all fond of Iced Americanos (really she tried to avoid them whenever she could), she found so far that day she had already gulped down two, mostly because she hated the taste and it was easier to get them down if you chugged them. Now it was easy to fall into the show's segment of acting games and improv skills. The foursome sat on stage in a deserted auditorium while Yongsun read out rules and commands from the stack of cue cards in her hands. The girls first played a form of musical charades, the singer's acting and singing skills called into question to mimic each performer in a loose warm-up. Hyejin and Wheein, in turn, led into a sort of mirroring game where one had to start a dance move and the other followed, much to the entertainment of Yongsun and Byul, because the looser Hyejin got the goofier Wheein's expressions became and vise versa until all four of them had dissolved into laughter, the crew in front of them even chuckling beneath the music's dying track.

But impressions and play were not the only tasks on the docket. Improvisation was next and it was Byul and Yongsun's turn to take a swing at their on-the-spot acting skills. Drawing a scenario from a list of folded pieces of paper, Byul was forced to sit a few feet away in a chair while Yongsun read the scenario. She laughed, though the chuckle was shallow in her chest when she turned the piece of paper for the camera and the maknaes to see. "So now you have to walk into the scene and start that scenario," Hyejin said as Wheein groaned, already anticipating what this could possibly unveil.

"I don't like this," Byul groaned toward the camera, "I do **not** ," knowing she would have to do the obligatory "yes and -- " to keep the scene going. Yongsun stepped up to Byul, a stern expression in her eyes as something chilling ran through her pupils. In response, the shocking shift in atmosphere triggered Byul's secondhand embarrassment and she had to place a finger under her nose to keep from laughing. Shoving the card forward, Yongsun demanded in a high pitched voice,

"Who is this girl?" Byul's mouth opened. "Who is she?! Tell me!" Yongsun demanded. Byul pointed to the card, pretending there was a photo of someone on it as she said,

"That? That's the girl I'm seeing," she played along, her tone much more even than Yongsun's as behind them Wheein was practically smacking Hyejin to death from how much laughter she was holding in her tiny little body.

"Who is she?" Yongsun demanded and when Byul shrugged, Yongsun's hand wound up and passed quickly in front of Byul's face, Byul turning rapidly in response so that the pretend slap registered. Yongsun's tone dipped low as two fingers roughly cupped Byul's chin. "Look at me," she demanded before shaking the piece of paper in Byul's face. "Why would you do this to me?" Yongsun cried, her voice shrilly hiking in a way that struck Byul dumb. Byul attempted to fabricate a response as Yongsun's eyes remained firmly on hers. It took every effort on Byul's part to not register some privately cloaked hint on Yongsun's face, to not read into something buried beneath the pretend scenario. Gratefully, Hyejin did what she always does best and interrupted,

"Great! Now hit her for real!" allowing for the tension to dissipate and everyone to relax. Byul stood from her chair as they all laughed, wanting to reach out but was unable to with how quickly Yongsun migrated back to her chair, shaking off what just happened.

Byul wouldn't get her chance to check in with Yongsun until they were in the hallway following the wrap up of the shoot. Taking the leader by the hand she pumped their linked arms back and forth until Yongsun was laughing and finally Byul smiled. "Good, for a minute there I was thinking we were going to break up," she teased. Yongsun's eyebrow ticked up.

"Oh really? You think we should break up?" Yongsun continued pushing Byul's arm via the press of their interlocked hands until they were very nearly wrestling with each other, absent any resistance but their own. As if in total sync, their breathing started to hike, exhaled in spurts of giggles.

"Yeah," Byul countered, loving how this tug-of-war was escalating, "yeah, fine we should break up." Yongsun's hand twisted Byul's arm back in an unusual way, breaking their linked hands but at the same time, drawing the rapper closer to her so that when she said,

"Fine," she had enough counter leverage to push Byul away from her with a sardonic grin. "Fine," she reiterated, throwing her hands up in the air, "Thank you." Byul's shoulders slouched as she trucked the few steps that separated them and firmly grabbed Yongsun's hand.

"No," Byul contended, stepping closer until Yongsun was flushed against the wall, the leader's head turning out in a teasing but somehow lusciously alluring manner. Byul wanted to lean forward and kiss the exposed skin Yongsun's long brown hair was framing, but knowing that public displays of affection were riskier when they were away from anything that resembled a familiar base, Byul took a step back and before bringing Yongsun's hand firmly to her lips, muttering "no" once more before pressing Yongsun's hand firmly against her kiss. It brought Yongsun's attention back to her and when Byul removed her lips from Yongsun's skin they were both breathlessly laughing, though only they could hear the enticing temptation laced beneath.

*******************

A few days later Mamamoo participated in a large-scale collective interview that featured five other groups. Yongsun had been up all night rehearsing her answers for all of the questions, making sure she would know exactly what to say since CEOs and managers from all across the K-Pop board would be there as well as nearly every Show station. There would be millions of people viewing the broadcast all at once. Yongsun's moderate fear of speaking had registered at a ten for the last three days. She said nothing on the drive to the studio, mouthing over and over the answers written on the postcards in her hands. She rarely spoke except for polite pleasantries in the make-up chair, and when all of the groups lined up and took their seats on the broadcast stage, she remained silent as Byul took a seat on her right. "You're paler than the studio floor," Byul tried teasing, "like you're going to hit it any moment. Should I beat it up for you instead?" but Yongsun didn't smile, only gave Byul a passing look before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath as the cameras in front of them signaled the beginning cue.

Byul turned to face the camera as well, putting on the typical Idol smile as the interview began. The MC rotated on questions with two other group leaders before it was Yongsun's turn. Bringing the microphone to her lips, Yongsun's long dark brown hair caressed one of her shoulders as she nodded and responded clearly and with a conviviality in her voice that registered as both sincere and inviting. Byul's attention remained on Yongsun the entire time and when the leader finished answering the question, the primary camera shifting to the next person, leaving only a few running manual cameras running, Yongsun felt the cavernous maw of attention alleviate itself. Her face was still terribly pale, however, so Byul leaned forward to capture Yongsun's gaze as the singer inhaled sharply through her nose twice, her neck contracting from the effort until her eyes landed in Byul's. The rapper gave her a large smile as her hands wrung in her lap, desperate to reach out and massage the tension from Yongsun's neck or squeeze it from her hands but unable to move under the glare of eyes, mouthed, "You did wonderful." Yongsun responded the only way she could, with a small nod, and focused her eyes on the ground.

There was still one more question for her to handle at the very end so when the primary camera returned to Mamamoo, Yongsun raised her microphone with a smile once again. This time when she answered there was more bounce in her reply and she even managed to garner a little laugh through the attendees and MC, even out to the audience where so many important people in their industry were seated. When the camera navigated away from her this time, there was an immediate shift of her gaze to Byul's, as if her instinct was to find a resurgence of strength a second time, and faithfully, Byul's attention and smile were both there along with yet another tiny nod. Yongsun stared and the longer she did so the brighter she felt as if the world inside her was glowing from a spot only Byul ever seemed to be able to touch. When the groups gathered together to take a picture, Yongsun's hand reached for Byul's, the smile on her lips so big and encompassing that it was in total contrast to what she projected only a few minutes ago. Looking and resting in Byul's eyes she was centered, totally grounded, so when she turned to look at the camera her smile was sincere, Byul's small laugh radiating in her ear.

Moments later, Yongsun and Byul traversed the backstage hallway hand in hand, occasionally slipping into separated stances only to then interlock some parts of their bodies, Yongsun always the initiator and Byul never moving to change, redirect, or correct. Something as simple as walking to the van had in this moment become the orbiting of two celestial bodies, their other group members holding back with the crew to continue to collect the remains of the dressing room so when the pair slipped into the van, Yongsun joining Byul in the back seat, they were the only ones there. Byul opened her phone to check a few messages, clips from the interview already speeding through the internet and into social media. "Unnie, look -- " Byul said, turning her phone to Yongsun and noting that the woman was staring straight ahead, her focus seeming to penetrate through the tinted windshield in front of them. Byul's brow furrowed. "Unnie, are you all right?" Byul blanketed her hand over Yongsun's knee bringing Yongsun's attention from its forward trajectory to the sight of Byul's hand on her knee. Byul's hand raised as if to retreat, levitating above the bent knee bone, but returned again when Yongsun's hand blanketed over hers. Byul watched the strange sight with trepidation, spiced blood coiling through her chest, flushing every inch of skin as she watched Yongsun's big brown eyes raise to hers. Something in them took her breath away, and two seconds later she found out what.

"I love you," Yongsun proclaimed, barely above a whisper but with such sincere finality that Byul was fairly certain that the oxygen had in fact depleted out of the universe somehow. Byul's mouth opened and closed rapidly as the sounds of approaching footsteps begged her to hasten a response.

"I -- I -- " Byul stammered just as the van's sliding door opened yet again and Wheein piled into one of the bucket seats, Hyejin after her while their manager took the front passenger seat. Byul moved to shift away from Yongsun as was part of their unspoken understanding, but Yongsun held her hand more firmly.

"I'm so hungry I could eat my weight," Hyejin stated, "and we don't have a show tomorrow so I'm going to order bulgogi. If I have any more fish or tofu I may vomit." Wheein chuckled as the engine turned over and Byul and Yongsun's attentions turned to their phones, occasionally out the window, but the pair didn't unlock their hands until they both dropped off at their respective residences.

**********************

Embracing the fun, sensual nature of their song, Mamamoo's choreography for "You're the Best" was loads of fun to perform. During their first Inkigayo performance, a stage in a sea of others, they had already incorporated a down the line slap with boisterous whacks across one another's cheeks with matching cheesy sound effects, and even though the camera wouldn't pick it up, the audience was in full view of Hwasa's hands slipping up MoonByul's inner thigh, Wheein's around MoonByul's waist until she cupped one of the rapper's buttcheeks, adding an air of sensuality to the upbeat tempo of the retro groove number. Through the song's three key and tempo changes, the group also added a moment of slow-motion improv between Solar and the other members, all in an effort to make the performance broadly enjoyable and ultimately stand-out. Somehow, where other small numbered groups struggled to not be swallowed by the large stages' framing, Mamamo always managed to parade through the same space with every ounce of their energy, as if they were born to live in the moment of every performance. Whether Hwasa was shaking her hips in sharp and swift sways or MoonByul was knocking her fingertips on Solar's teeth, the presentational flow of the song's performance radiated how powerful Mamamoo had become as a group.

And this time, it paid off.

Mamamoo stood by as the points were calculated in real-time, the camera placing them in bubble graphic screens as the categories unveiled the total for the first-place prize. With hands folded in front of them, clutching their hand microphones, they watched the numbers flux up and up until finally, their point total read: 9433, a landslide to their two other competitors.

Immediately four sets of hands flew to their mouths in shock as the stage erupted in a spray of confetti for Mamamoo's first win. Byul's hands were last to dance above her painted lips, her eyes widened in shock as if she were experiencing everything in slow motion while the maknaes were damn near bouncing up and down. Wheein was handed the Inkigayo statue from the MC. All it took was one encompassing look between each another for tears to cascade down their cheeks as applause filtered through the room. Yongsun's mouth hung open and for a brief moment, confetti landed on her lip. She sputtered it clear so she could speak. Her voice trembled and there were high pitched sounds of "mmm, " and "ummm" as she tried to find words big enough to comprise what this meant to the four of them. Wheein, who was usually the most composed in these sorts of situations had to step back so her hard-hitting sobs didn't ring through the microphone, Hyejin happily wrapping her best friend in her arms with a laughing smile. Ultimately the leader did her best to relay their thanks through a trembling voice, shaking hand holding the microphone and as she finished up her upper body folded forward in a bow, her words petering off so Byul said one last thank you on all of their behalfs. Once Yongsun was upright once again, Byul's arms opened first, and all four girls wrapped themselves into a tight circle, heads bowing together for a private moment in the midst of all of the chaos around them, the loving glow of some "at long last" success radiating only for and between them.

To celebrate their big win, the entire RBW crew escorted Mamamoo to a local restaurant, renting out the place so they could all celebrate privately and properly. As the congratulations song began, a cake was placed on the table between the four members who donned party hats and blew the candles out at the cheery medley's conclusion. Once the applause died down, the girls still standing, Byul extended her cup for a toast, Yongsun gripping her hand around the object, their hands inadvertently connected as the leader cleared her throat. "Speech! Speech!" a crew member called from the back.

"Give us a minute, we are so overwhelmed," Yongsun countered with a smile as Byul leaned forward, the glass between them maintaining its balance between both sets of fingers.

"That means she's trying to think of something to say," Byul clarified and Yongsun shot her a look that confirmed just that as polite laughter filtered through the air.

"Mamamoo is nothing without everyone in this room. Even though we're the four in front of the camera we could not have come this far without all of you and we are so very happy and grateful you are able to celebrate this first win with us."

"The first of many!" came a deep voice from the back as CEO Kim Do-hoon raised his glass in their direction.

"The first of many!" the group resonated as Mamamoo's heads bowed, their cheeks blushing as everyone drank to the toast.

The girls had a few bites of the food brought to their table before Yongsun leaned across to Byul who was sat opposite her at a caddy-corner and said, "Let's make some rounds." Hyejin shoveled three quick successions of rice into her mouth and as she chewed and nodded, Wheein agreed,

"Great idea. They have beer at that table," to which she and Hyejin bee-lined for the far end of the table toward the back. Yongsun and Byul exchanged a knowing glance as they followed, observing at some distance Wheein tackle their manager from behind in a warm embrace. The maknaes settled at the table while Yongsun traversed around, singling a few people out to thank personally before she found herself back at Byul's side. While Wheein and Hyejin celebrated with their usual "pit crew," Yongsun and Byul took a small series of shots from the table and made their way to the next section. Each place they migrated to, someone handed them a congratulatory drink. After Yongsun's third or fourth shot of SoJu she was happy to accept a small offering of flavored beer.

Byul side-eyed Yongsun who took another long swallow of a beer Byul knew the leader didn't care for. "You haven't eaten. Want to slow down before I'm scraping you off the floor? I don't have a shovel big enough for you." Yongsun shrugged and shimmied out the wash of alcohol taste, complete with puckered lips, before resting her head on Byul's shoulder as she replied,

"I'm having fun. Riding the high."

"Oh you're high all right, off your own fumes," Byul countered creating a squelching noise out of the side of her mouth. The assistant at her feet covered her mouth and laughed, Byul patting the girl's back as she realized the person beside her probably didn't have the sort of relationship where such shared information was appropriate and apologized.

Eventually, Byul and Yongsun settled at the far table beside CEO Kim Jim-Woo and started to pick and munch on the appetizer plates. Yongsun's mouth shared equal time and company with her metal chopsticks and a bottle of SoJu Byul insisted they share, otherwise, she knew her comment about peeling Yongsun off the floor wouldn't be too far away from occurring. The leader was in a homey work element for the first time, and thus her usual professional and introverted personality was taking a holiday as she leaned over to one of the board members and made a polite comment about the new building renovations that were happening and how excited she was to hear they would soon be rehearsing in a new studio. The older woman was asking Yongsun a few technical questions and the leader was doing her best to respond, Byul watching the entire exchange with quiet fascination, the three little yet precious words Yongsun had shared between them a few days ago playing over and over in her head, making the alcohol in her system burn not just her belly but transport the sensation like magnetic sparks through her toes, her ears, her fingertips. She'd played it in repeat so many times she worried it had shifted from being "too good to be true," to "no really it wasn't true," but watching the way Yongsun's eyes sparkled, how her voice swayed up and down in pitch, how charming and inviting her face was because she was just so damned happy . . . it was hard for Byul's mind not to return to the proclamation they had now voiced, even if they couldn't currently, or rather had yet to manage to, celebrate in any way more befitting to what certain adjoining thoughts would suggest.

Her thoughts were immediately shattered when one of the male assistants leaned over and asked, "When do you begin filming 'We Got Married,' Yongsun? My sister loves that show I want to be sure to tell her when to watch!" Byul's smile faded as her internal voice begged her to transported anywhere else though her only plausible solution to her discomfort translated into shoveling pieces of octopus tentacles in her mouth and guzzling large sips of SoJu while Yongsun answered.

"After we return from the states," Yongsun said, reminding Byul of their next international gig and allowing a blister of a smile to peak out against the heat she was feeling against her skin. "But tell her the episodes won't air until probably April." Once the exchange was finished with a few bows, Yongsun's attention turned to Byul, the both of them seeing how Yongsun's hand twitched, her fingers flexing, but no movement toward Byul was made. Gratefully they didn't have to ruminate further down that road as Jim-Woo stood at the far corner of the room for a speech. Byul turned around to listen to what their CEO had to say, everyone's attention upon him. And in that moment, Yongsun did reach for Byul, under the table, finding the rapper's hand and linking their fingers together as they all received the impressed praise from their boss. Byul swallowed, the touch seemingly innocent but also more necessary than she had originally assumed as she squeezed Yongsun's hand, keeping the embrace until the appropriate place to applaud arose and they were forced to break apart to accommodate.

As the night waned on, eventually the restaurant announced it had to close and while the crew and managers settled up the bills, Mamamoo walked into the brisk night air, the alcohol in their systems enhancing the sensations of the early spring air against their cheeks. "Oh, there's my ride!" Wheein called, pointing to an extremely expensive car across the street, trotting down the abandoned roadway toward the vehicle as the other three girls chastised her.

"You're in no condition," Byul said through a peel of laughter as Hyejin approached Wheein from the other side.

"You are going to be my chauffeur," she demanded, "take me to a place with expensive clothes and even more expensive men."

"You have no money," Wheein reminded her. Hyejin began rummaging through Wheein's coat, searching the interior pockets as she demanded,

"Give me money for expensive clothes and expensive men." Wheein nearly keeled over as the searching gave way to tickling, and Yongsun shook her head, migrating up the street, Byul alongside her.

"You're both going to get arrested!" the leader scolded through her own laughter. One of their managers wrangled Hyejin and Wheein away from the car and toward the opposite side of the street.

"Wait, wait!" Wheein called as the foursome separated into different vehicles, "I love you! We did it! It's easy from here on out!" Wheein called into the late night to which Yongsun and Byul nodded and laughed.

"Easy! So easy!" Byul called back as she and Yongsun piled into a taxi that had been called for them, the maknaes stepping into the van. Their manager gave the driver the address and some money and seconds later the pair was being hauled off to Yongsun's apartment.

Yongsun and Byul's heads reclined against the fabric of the rented car, their hands resting close between them. A chuckle flittered through Yongsun's throat, Byul's gaze turning to watch the muscles in her leader's neck vibrate, move and contract in a way to accommodate the sound. It made her own throat very dry. "I can't believe it," Yongsun said through a sigh, "I can't believe after two years -- more really -- "

"Did you doubt it would happen?" Yongsun's head ticked from side to side.

"Don't we always?" Byul's hand snaked over just far enough that their pinky fingers interlocked, signaling Yongsun's attention. Streetlamp light faded across their features as they stared at one another, the hammering of their reflected pulse points enhanced by how much alcohol was teaming through their system. It felt familiar, and because of that familiarity neither of them were surprised when as the car came to a stop in front of Yongsun's apartment building, Byul leaned forward and told the driver,

"No need to drop me off, I'm staying here. Keep the fee," and slid out behind Yongsun, both of them staggering to step onto the sidewalk as Byul shut the door behind them and the car drove away.

The minute the apartment door shut behind them Yongsun's bag and keys dropped to the floor and her arms were around Byul's neck pulling her into a kiss. They maintained the kiss, getting drunk all over again from the taste of alcohol on the other's lips as Byul walked them back, peeling off Yongsun's coat, Yongsun copying Byul as both articles of clothing fell to the ground. Yongsun's back pressed against her bedroom door, the wood stressing with a groan as Byul lifted Yongsun up until the leader's thighs were sinched tight around Byul's waist. Byul's free hand felt for the handle, hitting the top of the faux brass twice before the knob turned and they tumbled past the bedroom threshold. Byul's hand swiped out for the light switch, flipping it up once found only for Yongsun's hand to reverse the move and bathe them in mostly darkness once again. Groaning, Byul took another few steps, spilling them across the long-side of the bed.

Byul kissed down Yongsun's clothed body until she was kneeling on the floor, stripping one of Yongsun's free of its sock and shoe. "I can do that," Yongsun insisted, tearing her other shoe off and yanking both socks along with it. Byul got to her feet slowly, the room spinning from the booze and exertion so her toes did the work of freeing her shoes from her feet while Yongsun slid back on the bed. Her pupils were so large her eyes were practically black as her head ticked upward once, two taught fingers extending up, pulsing inward as she beckoned Byul to her, but in case the rapper wanted to play dense, her husky voice commanded, "Get over here."

Crawling up the duvet like a panther, Byul's weight splayed deliciously across Yongsun's smaller form as a fevered kiss enveloped the singer's lips. The bodies writhed together until Yongsun's nails first scratched across Byul's lower back before running back up to the bottom apex of Byul's spine, strangling the fabric between her fingers and dragging it up and over the rapper's head, and flinging it to the ground. Locking her knees at Byul's hips, Yongsun flipped them until her center of gravity was straddled atop Byul's abdomen. The blinds of Yongsun's window were cracked just enough that lamplight from the street below cast Yongsun's silhouette in matching shadow and light so when Yongsun stripped off her own shirt it gave Byul was super grateful to be laying down. The rapper's fingers danced in raking pressure against the ripples of Yongsun's soft stomach as the second shirt joined the first on the floor. Yongsun's gaze lingered in matching heady admiration at the sight of Byul beneath her, her own palms rubbing down the tops of Byul's arms as the rapper's hands traced higher, both sets of breath releasing in shorter bursts and gasps until Byul was cupping and massaging the cloth that obstructed her hands from touching the sensitive skin beneath. Byul wasn't gentle, she couldn't be, some primal part had temporarily seized over her delicacies and when Yongsun's palms clamped down on the back of Byul's hands to encourage the rough pressure, Byul released what sounded like a mixture of a moan and a growl. Yongsun closed her eyes, her head dipping back exposing her neck as Byul's frustration escalated at wanting to touch what lay beneath, but never once pushing past any barrier.

Yongsun leaned forward and brought their lips together once again, Byul turning them onto their side as their kissing intensified, tongues exploring deeper until Byul broke away, her exploring hands memorizing every line and dip as they traced down Yongsun's stomach. Her hand moved lower, Yongsun's breathing hitching as her eyes shut on reflex, and Byul's hand cupped the cloth between Yongsun's legs. The gasp that passed between them seized at everything in Byul's core, if it could clench it did, and for a moment she was removed of all sense. It was the touching of Yongsun's forehead to her own which rescued her wherewithal from where it had been kidnapped, Byul moaning into the kiss bestowed upon her seconds later as they both began to move against each other.

Yongsun very nearly punched Byul's shoulder when the rapper stopped, but only briefly as Byul's hand landed on the button of her pants. Yongsun's eyes opened, meeting Byul's gaze, but before she could pop the piece of metal between her fingers, Yongsun grabbed Byul's wrist, stopping them from going any further. In the moment of shared pause, panting heavily, Yongsun shook her head. "Not drunk," Yongsun said, already groaning at how her body wanted to indulge. Byul licked her lips and nodded, hand removing itself from the spot she hoped to one day call home and instead perching and skating lazily across the skin of Yongsun's arm.

"I'm -- sorta glad you did that," Byul confessed, "even if I've convinced myself **this** is the only way it could happen." Yongsun's fingers drew up Byul's collarbone to the peak of her shoulder.

"You've thought about it then?" Yongsun asked, her eyes never leaving Byul's as her tone quieted alongside her libido. Byul leaned forward and placed a firm but sensual kiss on Yongsun's lips.

"I think the real question is . . . have you?" Byul's eyes were open, more open than Yongsun could ever remember them being. There was an answer in Byul's question, one that Yongsun felt safe enough to confirm.

"I stopped us, didn't I?" Yongsun leaned forward and kissed Byul yet again, her lips trailing this time until they landed at the dip in Byul's collar bone where her teeth and lips pressed and sucked in tandem with her teeth. Byul's hand caressed through Yongsun's hair, squeezing at the roots once or twice, Yongsun yanking them closer at the waist. After a few seconds, Yongsun's lips transitioned into soft kisses as she peppered the welt with her lips and whispered, "Just so we both remember."

*********************

"I thought it was supposed to be flat," Wheein complained from the back of the rental van as Mamamoo and their primary team drove across the twisting highways.

"Austin is very different from the rest of Texas," their translator informed them, "lots more green and hills. Go anywhere else? Nothing but dunes and desert, even in the biggest of cities you could drive for miles and never leave the limits." Byul's attention turned to Yongsun who was busy scribbling away in a notebook that looked very similar to her own. She hadn't seen the leader quite so entranced with her own writing in a little while so she leaned over and tried to sneak a peak.

"No," Yongsun insisted, her knee rising as an immediate impeding wall from Byul coming any further, "I'm working on something."

"That's obvious. I want to know what."

"Also obvious," Yongsun's small pencil tapped the corner of the page as her head tilted from side to side, the vehicle taking another large, winding turn so she was forced to grab the "oh shit!" handle until they were all evened out on the road.

"I'm not gonna make it," Wheein groaned, rolling down the window and hanging her head against the frame like a green-colored pitbull. Good thing it was warm outside.

Not wanting to raise her voice over the sound of the gusting wind, Byul tapped the notebook as Yongsun passed an opened water bottle to Wheein who weakly cradled it between her fingers and gingerly sipped. Yongsun rolled her eyes at Byul's insistence, the rapper's grin growing as she started to layout a beat to the tapping's request. Yongsun leaned forward and said, "If you must know . . . the last few shows we went on I've noticed something. And it's not just been the number of lightsticks but -- a few of them have been holding up signs saying the same thing." Yongsun opened the notebook and showed Byul the title: 'I Love Too.' Byul's smile grew.

"You're the biggest softy, you know that? You're all squish," she remarked, digging her fingers into Yongsun's side and twisting, Yongsun's only form of recourse was the book in her hand which wailed across Byul's knees. The loud cracking sound caught Hyejin's attention as she plucked her headphones out and her head whipped around.

"Kill her after the performance," Hyejin scolded with a lilting grin as the three of them laughed. The van jerked again as Wheein moaned and this time Yongsun reached underneath the seat looking for a clean plastic bag. Just in case.

South By Southwest was one of the biggest music festivals in the United States that usually lasted days on end with every form of art imaginable as if the Sidewalk Film Festival met Woodstock and Mamamoo was one of the only K-Pop bands on the line-up. Their stage was smaller than most, but the outdoor event really enhanced its large scale feel. The members enjoyed being able to walk outside and not worry about being accosted, to see so many different people with crazy hairstyles, wild clothes, it was apparent the city was filled with all walks of life. "How is this place weirder than LA?" Hyejin asked, lacing her arm around Wheein's waist as they strolled across the back lot lane toward the staging arena to await their chance to perform. The pair walked in casual stride, following one foot with the next that suggested so many years of being in sync. Yongsun and Byul watched them with a bittersweet fondness, glancing at one another briefly to exchange a layered and knowing smile before they all approached the gate that sectioned off the tents set up as the preparation area.

Less than an hour later, Mamamoo was performing on a breakaway stage to thousands of people who likely didn't understand hardly a word of what they were saying, apart from the random shouts and commands to have them cheer, scream, and applaud, but they definitely gave back what the group exuded. MoonByul in particular seemed to get more and more jazzed the rowdier the crowd got, the silhouette of the sinking sun only bolstering how the smell of the crowd's energy hit her high. When it came time for her to sneak up behind Solar during "You're the Best" and push her cheeks together, she remained in place for a beat, a sharp lean in bringing the leader in a quick hug and to her delight, Yongsun's laughter glittered the next phrase she sang. Seas of hands raised into the air and started to raise and lower in tempo, waving back every time Mamamoo's choreography had them do the same at the audience. The smiles on all four of the women's faces remained wide and sincere throughout the twenty-minute set, the crowd chanting for an encore. In response, the girls grabbed microphone stands and their handheld mics as the translator informed the audience via Solar's remarks, "We hope this will be a bit of a cool down for you to ease you into your evening. Thank you for having us, we love Texas!" and the opening chords of "I Miss You" began to play. The skies broke out into washes of reds and oranges against the dipping blues as the girls' powerful vocals blasted through massive speakers on either side of the stage and as a result, a sea of lighters ignited in a wash of flickering glow in time to the music. During the last verse, there was a peculiar movement in the corner of the large crowd, and then MoonByul tapped Solar's shoulder and Solar to Wheein, Wheein to Hwasa as the highlights of the green and white MooBong peered out amongst the crowd. A small tear came to Solar's eye but gratefully it was the highest point in the song so she could blame closing her eyes and turning away on the need to unleash the power notes for the final beats of the song. Once the song concluded, all four members threw extra hearts and kisses in the direction of the fan who had made her way toward the front before vacating the stage.

Unable to participate in the overflow of alcohol being offered, the maknaes begrudgingly followed their manager and crew up a fire escape landing to a small roof alcove adjacent to one of the primary stages to watch at least one show before they headed back to the hotel. The foursome leaned over the railing as a bluesy-rock sound unfolded from the band below. "You guys should get something to drink, it will make being this high up easier," Hyejin teased as Yongsun leaned against Byul closer to cut the dipping wind chill of the evening.

"Solidarity," Byul insisted, resisting the urge to wrap her arm around Yongsun, even though the crew that had escorted them had seen them do that and more -- intimacy was always funny between them after . . . well . . . **after**. **After** that night, things very nearly **all** things, had become . . . bigger. Not enough time had passed for things to really settle and sort and to be honest, Byul was surprised Yongsun was bothering to maintain her rotation around Byul's orbit at all. But being in the States, especially, afforded them a little bit more leniency. Hyejin and Wheein had mentioned taking benefit of some of the attractive fans they'd met the last time they visited K-Con, together and safely of course, discretion being of the utmost importance, but strangely, Yongsun didn't seem to exhibit the want to take such a risk. Instead, she reached over and tugged at the hem of her jacket so she could nuzzle against the crook of Byul's shoulder as the man's sultry and crystal clear voice began to sing,

"Is that seat taken? Congratulations  
Would you like to take a walk with me  
My mind it kind of goes fast  
I try to slow it down for you  
I think I'd love to take a drive  
I want to give you something  
I've been wanting to give to you for years  
My heart."

Yongsun didn't understand all of the words, but she caught "love," "give," "years," . . . "heart," . . . and how those words repeated in echo from the back-up singers as the song continued. In the obscurity of the small cluster of the crowd, Yongsun's hand wrapped in Byul's as her head raised, Hyejin and Wheein hugging them both from behind while still maintaining a flank on either side as the four of them clustered together, watching and listening, wind in their hair and smiles on their lips.

\------------------------

The singularly decent thing about the "We Got Married" set was the fact that just behind the facade of the scaled "house" she and Eric would have to be living in was a private dressing room. That's where Yongsun was camped out at the moment, head cradled in her hands after a long shoot. Rounding up on a lot of traits Yongsun either didn't care for in a person or the fact they were both wholly opposite and anxious personalities, on the whole, being around Eric wasn't terrible, although he tended to make some of the most inane comments. "Did you know you sing with a slight accent? It's really cute," he had told her while they were waiting for the photographer to finish setting up so they could take their make-believe wedding photos. It had come out of nowhere, Yongsun realizing he probably didn't know how to start a genuine conversation with her that wasn't scripted.

"And your Korean has **no** accent so perhaps that balances us out." Eric had laughed so she supposed she'd said the right thing, but the entire day was just leaching from how uncomfortable everything had been. She had spent far too much time parading around in wedding gowns, most of which were far too conservative for her taste, but each one was pre-approved by some studio head to present Solar as the most virginal of brides ( _That hasn't been the case since my seventeenth birthday party . . ._ ), meanwhile the checked suit Eric had been pegged into only made the brightness of his hair look strange in the sunlight. The thoughts regarding how ridiculous they both looked, no matter how pretty the pictures turned out, were ones Yongsun kept to herself. Solar was marrying him after all, not her. Although that wasn't the weirdest part of the day, it really should have been.

Banking on the fact that both Solar and Eric were Idols, the team of reality spectators (who were more like puppet masters) suggested they perform for them. The request, in the off-set, wasn't something Yongsun found **too** odd, she and Eric **had** met once or twice in the midst of their insane schedules to rehearse "My Ear's Candy," she just hadn't counted on both events being filmed the same day. During the number, they landed the choreography fairly well, and it was her job, at the end of the day, to present a strong performance. That she could handle. What felt -- weird -- was how close Eric had been when his hips pushed up against her when they performed. It had thrown her off because it assaulted the power she was trying to wield, the kind she had as a part of her wheelhouse, right out of her sails. In an effort to recover it, she turned back around and flirted with him, turning her charisma level up to an eleven much to the joy and applause of the people "grading" them. It was part of the "bit" that he lean over her shoulder into her space, his profile brushing against her ear, but it was a sensation she had to swallow until finally the song ended and with a swift spin they faced each other, Solar reaching up and grabbing him on both sides of his jawline to press a hard but quick kiss to his forehead. _There. Done._ she thought, mentally checking off a contractual requirement as they bowed to their audience and left the small stage.

She had excused herself from Eric and her entourage, seeking out a moment of peace after the crazy cacophony of the day. Still, something was making her stomach swim and without trying to suss out the reason why, she pulled her phone from her back pocket and opened the text screen she shared with Byul who had texted her that morning, something that had become a daily ritual somewhere down the road, telling her to go easy on Eric not everyone can handle women with such power . . . or such explosive after-meal farts. The comment had made her roll her eyes when she blearily checked it the first time before breakfast, now it both sinched her insides and settled some tiny part of her rattled brain. She shifted in the metal make-up chair, the only sound echoing in the acoustically heavy room, glancing up in the mirror and seeing the slight smudge of her make-up from where she had pecked her lips against Eric's forehead minutes ago. Exhaling, she stood and turned her back on her reflection, going to grab a make-up wipe to remove the entirety of the lip stain while the phone in her hand had been commanded to call the number in her #2 speed-dial slot.

Pressing the phone to her ear she sat down on the nearby couch, damp scented cloth rubbing hard against her lips a bright voice on the other end said, "So are you already ready to file for divorce?" Yongsun's smile grew at hearing Byul's voice but it quickly faded as the efforts from the entire day crashed down on her like a seismic wave, somehow doing so through her very pores as she collapsed back against the sofa. "Wow, tell me all about it," Byul's voice tried to coax as Yongsun's finger's pressed against the bridge of her nose, her eyes shutting. A few seconds passed in silence before Byul asked, "Yong, are you there?" Yongsun nodded, forgetting for a moment that Byul couldn't see her. "Hello?"

"Did you make sure Wheein and Hyejin got to the promos?" Byul laughed on the other line and it shook what little pressure had managed to build in Yongsun's head free.

"I'm their keeper now?"

"When I'm not there you are. Shit, that's a dangerous combination." Yongsun laughed, it unnerved and surprised her that the sound was wet-laced. She hoped Byul wouldn't pick up on it. But she noticed everything.

"Yongsun-ssi, what is it? Are you all right? I wasn't going to make a deal out of you calling, you never call but -- but aren't you still supposed to be on set?" Once again Yongsun nodded to no one, it just seemed easier than trying to find words for the swelling swarming through her system.

"This is really fucking weird." There was a beat as Byul's voice slowed down, the words taking on new meaning as she did so.

"Are - you - all - right?" Yongsun swallowed.

"Yes. I'm just -- it's all very awkward." Byul's chuckle was dry.

"Well, that wouldn't take a genius to figure out. You knew it was going to be that way. Is he at least nice to you?" Yongsun's eyes shifted to the ceiling, trying to dispel some of the tension that was giving her a neck cramp, knowing no one was there to help her massage it out if it started to seize because the one who usually noticed and did immediately did something about it was across town and on the other end of the line.

"I went ahead and kissed him. Got it out of the way." There was a pause that hit Yongsun's chest like a patter of stones before Byul's abruptly cheerful tone answered,

"And you called to tell me he uses grapefruit flavored lip balm, the worst kind because it always dries like ass on your lips."

"You'd know all about the taste of ass on lips," Yongsun teased, making Byul laugh, a sound which was slightly jarring at first but by the tail end returned to some decibel of sincerity.

"You make no sense sometimes." The pair chuckled quietly until something in Byul's voice dusted over her tone as if she were asking the question from far away, "Did you like it?"

"All I tasted was make-up," Yongsun dictated, "and his brow was kind of sweaty. We'd been dancing." There was a sigh of relief in her ear as Yongsun's brain caught up to their previous communication's indication, "Wait, no, NO! I'm **not** kissing him like that! Ugh!" Byul's laughter was robust and hearty again.

"Well, it's in the contract."

"We get to decide what kind. And it was quick anyway, like kissing my sister."

"Ew, you kiss your sister? Keep your bedroom talk to yourself, unnie," Byul chided as Yongsun rolled her eyes. She was starting to feel better being in a space, if only mentally, that felt more normal. She'd missed the ritualization of their banter, only now when it was absent knowing how frequently she had consciously or subconsciously sought it out prior.

"I've been known to kiss a sister here and there," Yongsun teased, her voice carrying a playful and flirtatious lilt that stilled Byul's response. "Ah, caught you off guard, didn't I?"

"No," Byul replied quickly, "shouldn't you be getting back to set?" There was a pause. "Do you want me to pick you up later?"

"I have another schedule to go to after we finish up here. But I'll see all of you tomorrow. I only have to be here briefly." There was another pause as Yongsun wondered if Byul would invite herself over to her apartment anyway, but she was to be disappointed.

"Make sure you get all your cootie shots before you hang around us. Don't want you spreading your 'Happy Couple' disease to the maknaes. They may try to run off and tie the knot themselves." Yongsun groaned.

"They'd be forever insufferable," Yongsun said, hearing someone approach, knowing she likely only had a few seconds before there was a knock on the door, "just keep them in hand until I get back."

"I'm good with my hands," Byul practically crooned into Yongsun's ear before dropping the call. Yongsun's heart thundered hard against her chest, her head ticking to the side as she thought, _Yes you are you cocky bitch_ , just as her manager knocked on the door to fetch her so they could leave for the day.

Across town, Byul dropped the call from where she stood in Hyejin's kitchen. The maknaes were out on the little alcove porch, the only thing between Byul and them was an opened glass door. Byul went to the refrigerator and grabbed herself another bottle of SoJu. The Loser Crew had been at promotions all day and had decided to wind down, apparently not sick of one another just yet, with some convenience store foods and alcohol. Byul inhaled another large swallow, tasting the grapefruit and immediately regretting the purchase after the comment she had just made about Eric Nam kissing her gi-- well, kissing her-- mm -- it was a bad joke anyway. Sighing she crossed back onto outside, Hyejin reclined on two legs of a large wooden chair taking a long drag off the cigarette she just lit. The maknae only smoked when she had a dark red wine, something to help curb the cravings but not cause enough vocal damage. "Hand me one of those, will you?" Byul asked pointing to the cigarette pack.

"Since when did you start back up?" Wheein asked, swallowing down another large swig of beer. The clanking of the metal beneath the porch chairs creaked as Hyejin leaned forward and grabbed the pack off the adjacent table, tossing it to Byul. The rapper pulled a stick out and lit it with the lighter Wheein passed to her, one inhale immediately relaxing the spike that had been shooting across her nerves.

"I needed the taste of something strong all of a sudden," she muttered, taking another long pull.

The younger girls had been chuckling about some ridiculous nonsense as Byul had left them to their own devices a few minutes ago, enjoying the incumbent night air and echoes of the city sounds while twilight twinkled in the distance. Byul leaned over the edge of the metal railing which groaned the tiniest bit from decades of rust and decay, inhaling another large puff of smoke in the suddenly deterred silence. "What did Yongsun-ssi want?" Wheein asked, reaching over to play with Byul's pant leg. The rapper watched her tug at a loose string before pulling it free, rubbing her fingertips together to toss it into the street abyss below. Byul licked her lips.

"She had a 'We Got Married,' schedule today right?" Hyejin filled in, "Called to give you a play by play did she?" The hand that held the SoJu bottle tipped the opening back against Byul's lips. The grapefruit seemed appropriately bitter with the taste of the tobacco against it. It wasn't something that would linger in the back of her throat if she didn't use mouthwash before bed. She doubted she would. Byul's buzzing gaze scoped the city.

"She was out there with him today," Byul said, her voice sounding as far away as her focus, Hyejin and Wheein exchanging a curious look out of Byul's periphery. "Why does that bother me?" Byul shook her head, already hating where this was going.

"Dunno, unnie, you tell us," Wheein interjected, "it's just a dumb ass show. Truly dumb ass show I mean, didn't they have Taemin on there one year?" Both she and Hyejin giggled. "Who do the producers think they're fooling? Like he has any interest in the opposite sex." Wheein's head whipped up to Byul who seemed dead set now on keeping her attention anywhere but Wheein's eyes. Nevertheless, the smaller woman stood, somewhat delicately as she had ingested less food and more alcohol in the last two hours. "Oh," she muttered, placing a hand on Byul's lower back, "Unnie . . . is this about -- "

"What? Is this about what?" Byul snapped, turning to Wheein so suddenly that Wheein's hand flew back in defense. "Yes, Wheein, it is exactly about that." Byul's voice was brash and sharp but beneath the edges was something that hit both maknaes right in the heart. Byul's head swayed a bit from side to side as she turned and crossed to a chair in the far corner, slouching into it before a long drag on the cigarette finished off the stick and she tossed it over the railing, negating the use of the ashtray on the tiny glass table only a few feet away. "How am I supposed to deal with the fact she's taking the brunt of this for the both of us?"

"Well, honestly, if this is the CEOs way of handling that situation she's the only one that could." Byul's eyes shot up to Hyejin.

"I've fucked around with men before!" she shot back but Hyejin's long finger pointed in Byul's direction.

"Not the same thing as fucking one, my dear, nor is it the same as falling for one," she countered without a hint of judgment, "and you know it." Hyejin looked between Wheein and Byul, pulling Wheein's attention back to her and in doing so, bringing her partner in crime a few steps closer, "Is that what has been happening? Has it become **more** between you and Yong?"

"Is that why you're hurting this bad over a phone call? Over the idea that she spent time pretending to be the partner of some guy who barely knows anything about her?" Wheein added as if she and Hyejin were reading from the same script.

Byul sensed there was the possibility that if things between her and Yongsun continued, this conversation with Wheein and Hyejin would inevitably have been broached. But she hadn't counted on them being so damn insightful in the process. "I think I love her," Byul admitted, twirling the SoJu bottle in her hand before meeting first Wheein then Hyejin's kind eyes. There was a long pause of silence where all that could be heard was the echoes of the city until Hyejin brought her chair back to settlement on all fours and leaned across the table, reaching into her wallet before pulling out three slips of paper and handing them to Wheein who was wearing a shit-eating grin.

"I swear I thought Yongsun unnie would break first," Hyejin confessed as Wheein stuffed the won bills into her back pocket, tossing Byul a devilish smile. " **Why** when she is one of the most repressed people I have ever met -- " Hyein's finger flew up as her defense rose in body language and decibel tone, "It was because she gets more confessional than 'I think' when she drinks." Hyejin pulled her chair closer to Byul, leaning forward so her elbows rested against her knees. The maknae took a small inhale from the still-lit cigarette, blowing the smoke out of the corner of her mouth as her opposite hand continued to balance the wine glass between her legs. "This is business, Byul-ssi," Hyejin said, "you can't get jealous over business."

"Although apparently, she can," Wheein said matching Hyejin's hawk-like stare in Byul's direction. Byul felt ganged up on and that made her temper flare, but she also felt so simultaneously debilitated that there was little she could do to defend something as on the money as what the others were poking at. They were like well-intentioned vultures piercing and picking at her torn, deteriorating heart. Shaking her head free of the image, Byul leaned forward and grabbed another cigarette from the package, lighting it briskly before standing.

"It's stupid. Isn't it. Not the whole jealousy thing, the -- the other." Hyejin and Wheein's eyebrows raised in unison, one was about to respond behind the other but Byul kept going, "Of all the people in the world to fall for it's the one person who drives me so far up the walls most days I can't think straight? We fight almost all the time, she nags, she's a control freak, she never listens to me, and just now? Just now I think she called me to get some sort of, I don't know, comfort? Only she was too proud to ask for it! She **never** knows what she wants from day to day, one minute she can't stand to be in the same room with me the next I can't get her to let go of whatever part of me or my clothes she chooses to cling onto! She's stronger than she looks with that grip! Why would **anyone** with one - grain - of - sense want to get involved with someone like that? I've got to be out of my fucking mind! And apart from it being **wildly** dangerous it's always so. damned. **draining**! She -- she drives me absolutely batshit fucking **crazy**!" Wheein and Hyejin's mouths hung open for a few minutes before Wheein leaned back with a long, low whistle, shifting her head from side to side.

"Damn, unnie, you've got it baaaaaaad." Hyejin chuckled, swallowing the sound against another gulp of wine. The cigarette in Byul's hand had burned halfway down the stick and one good inhale brought on a cough seeing as how the wetness that had arisen in the back of her throat was now seeking to overcome anything else. The remnants of smoke left in her lungs puckered through the corners of her lips as she mashed the butt into the ashtray and sunk back into the chair, pressing the SoJu bottle against her forehead while the other palm pressed into her eyes.

"I know. Fuck it, I know." She turned her head to spit onto the ground and take another drink. She got gross occasionally when she was truly on her way to getting pissed and cared less and less for manners. Gratefully she was with two people who seemed not to give a flying.

"So let's go on the show and mess with him," Hyejin finally spoke up. Byul's eyes shot to her, the vision surrounding the woman's visage pulsing a bit but she was nodding. "Don't groupmates usually go on that show? Or they can?" Wheein shrugged.

"I don't see why not," Wheein concurred, finishing off her beer and placing it in the nearby rubbish bin. Hyejin finished off her wine and handed the empty glass to Wheein who stood slowly, giggling a bit at the head-spin that she was getting before crossing through the opened door and into the kitchen.

"We'll go and make the situation awkward for the both of them. Expose how ridiculous the whole thing is. Not that I think Yongsun is unaware," Hyejin assured, kneeling in front of Byul and rubbing the tops of the woman's knees, "I didn't know it was more than physical attraction," she muttered, her tone and features quietly honest for the first time that evening, peeled away from all hijinks and jokes that were her usual monikers as Byul stared down at her, feeling the pull of that wetness from the back of her eyes as she gazed into the big browns of her youngest member. "This -- isn't going to be easy, Byul-ah," Hyejin said, using the younger moniker but for a moment, it seemed appropriate, "but it doesn't have to be lonely." Sniffling Byul nodded, leaning forward as she wrapped Hyejin in a hug that the younger member returned. "Although if you need comfort of another kind, I could teach you a few tricks you could share with our glorious leader. Free of charge. Well not true, you gotta buy me dinner first." Byul leaned back and laughed, wiping the singular tear from her eye before batting at Hyejin who took Byul by the hand and led her back inside.

*****************

A few days later Byul, Wheein, and Hyejin lugged large boxes of decorations into a poolhouse where 'We Got Married' would be filming their latest episode. The trio spent the morning in front of the cameras blowing up balloons and hanging signs and streamers, all the while cutting up and making jokes that were based more on trying to embarrass their leader rather than in "mock-celebration" of the pairing they were there to commemorate. More than once Wheein checked in with Byul by making a few funny faces at her just as Hyejin did the same with a series of winks and, when the cameras were off, streamlines of dirty jokes. It kept Byul's temperature level so when they all went outside, lounging back in their pool chairs as they waited for Yongsun and Eric to arrive, it was that much easier for her to keep her head cool.

Not long after they got situated, however, there was a loud piercing laugh that Byul instantly recognized. "Yah!" Byul shouted, leaning forward, "we were supposed to surprise you, not the other way around!" Yongsun was clapping along with her laughter as she ascended the steps and Byul charged for her. Wrapping her arms from behind, she lifted Yongsun off her feet in a tight hug as Eric slowly stepped up behind them, Hyejin and Wheein sashaying up to "greet the brother in law" as they so bluntly put it. Byul turned as soon as she heard him say hello, plucking the bow headband off her head and shoving it onto Eric's. "Much more your color," she said of the blue and white polka dots with a laugh.

Taking a few steps toward the house, Byul resisted the urge to take Yongsun's hand, though their fingertips constantly brushed as she practically crowed, "Wait until you see how badly we wrecked the place," as Yongsun smiled and said,

"I can only imagine," her right hand raising to twist the prop ring around her finger, catching Byul's attention to the motion. Something akin to having a pebble shoved in one's ear lanced against Byul's temple but instead of wincing she only forced her smile wider as the group meandered into the house.

The cameras caught Eric and Yongsun's reactions as they saw the small spattering of decorations, The Loser Crew decking them out in hats and popcorn blasts as they pretended to celebrate, Yongsun staying fairly far from Eric most of the time and enjoying the childish ways her members were behaving instead, and whether it was purposeful or not, the camera caught sight more than once of Yongsun leaning over to Byul and whispering something so that the pair burst into another round of laughter and smiles, all while Yongsun continued to fidget and play with the ring on her finger. As soon as the crew deemed they had enough footage in the sitting area space, they all decided to trek outside for a few games the crew had made up.

Bringing out a large piece of whiteboard with heart questions attached, Byul put on her best MC voice as she waltzed in front of Eric and Solar, "Yo Eric!" Byul began, her rapping skills coming into play, "Now that you're our brother in law, it's time you answered to something higher than your new bride -- her sisters." Eric laughed awkwardly while Yongsun cheered giving Byul a grand-standing high five. "Pick a question from the board," she commanded. When Eric hesitated, Byul reached over and snatched one up and read it aloud. "How many girlfriends have you had before Yongsun?" Hyejin laughed and nudged Byul, her eyes reminding her to not lay it on so thick, though her smile suggested she was enjoying the little broil being enacted.

"Before Soar, two," Eric said, "so I think I know what my next question will be." He plucked up a pink heart that said, "Especially since I don't understand, it says Yongsun vs. Solar?"

"Me in real life or my stage persona," Yongsun said with a nod, throwing Byul a look that said, 'don't roll your eyes.' Byul bit the top of her thumb to keep from doing just that.

"Oh, when I first saw Solar it was onstage and I thought, 'wow! she's really incredible!' and when I first met Yongsun, I thought," Eric's arm encircled Yongsun's shoulders as he leaned closer to her, "she's more beautiful outside of the spotlight." Hyejin and Wheein burst into laughter as did the camera crew. Byul bit the inside of her cheek and nodded. Yongsun chuckled beside Eric and leaned away just as Eric's arm lowered, her eyes going up to Byul who gave her a fond smile, although it was only half-formed, before crossing to the patio table and pulling out a large bag.

"Next game!" she called, "we'll have to go to the green for this one!" The rapper lugged the heavy bag ahead of the group, Yongsun keeping in step as the camera crew followed but with the lenses off.

"I can't believe you did all this," Yongsun said, sounding both reproachful and impressed, "I really am surprised." Byul nodded.

"It was the maknaes' idea."

"Oh no this **reeks** of their doing," Yongsun reiterated, taking one handle of the bag only for Byul to yank it away.

"I've got it. Thanks," Byul insisted as the group reached the grassy area, the cameramen instantly setting up the tripod and boom mic and turning everything back to the group. Yongsun barely had a chance to register the shift in Byul's icy demeanor before her MC face was plastered across her expressions once again. "All right, now this game was chosen by the producers," she prefaced, "Wheein and Hwasa will try to pop as many balloons between them, literally, as they can, and Solar and Eric will do the same." She opened the bag and unveiled a large number of inflated balloons. "I'm odd man out, so I get to check and make sure no one cheats," she teased as Hwasa and Wheein rolled their eyes.

"What's the punishment if you lose?" Wheein asked.

"A kiss!" Hyejin insisted.

"That -- that could be problematic if you lose," Eric said through a stuttered laugh. _Not necessarily,_ both Yongsun and Byul thought though their inability to voice the shared sentiment only saw it pass between them as a restrained, mischievous laugh. It lightened Yongsun's spirits a bit as they all tagged into the game, Hyejin and Wheein going first.

The balloons popped one right after the other with them, but when Eric and Solar tried, Eric clutched Solar so close that she yelped every time there was the possibility of the balloon bursting, and more than once the crew thought the balloon itself had popped. After each thirty-second turn, Wheein and Hwasa had managed to pop ten balloons while Eric and Solar hadn't popped a one. "Did you use your nails?" Eric asked from where he lay atop the grass several feet away, out of breath. Wheein shook her head.

"No just our bellies," Wheein insisted though Hyejin and Byul grinned, knowing that Hyejin had used her sharp nails each time, their intimate hug allowing only the camera to see how swiftly she exploded each.

"It's time for the penalty," Hyejin insisted. "A kiss." Yongsun was suddenly wildly aware of how many sets of eyes, human and camera, were on her as she stammered,

"Well, I -- this is the first -- "

Charging up to the maknaes, Byul extended her hand out to them shouting, "Good job guys!" and the trio placed their fingertips across one another after shouting, "oi!" and dropping them.

"Mamamoo is so scary!" Eric cried as Wheein sashayed around Yongsun singing Rhianna's "Work," before joining Hyejin and Byul across the field to watch the penalty unfold. Byul knelt, focus remaining on the fake couple as Yongsun was finally forced to look at Eric.

"What do we do?" Yongsun asked. Eric's hand raised between them as Yongsun started to laugh, her cadence echoing discomfort as well as shock.

"Whatever you're comfortable with," he stated as she looked over to the bandmates. Yongsun's torso trembled in trepidation over what was likely about to happen. "Do you want to receive it or give it?" he asked, Yongsun's eyes fluttered, landing on Byul whose smile was tight but there as Yongsun nodded and said,

"I want to receive it."

"I want cheeks!" Wheein said, pointing to either side of her own cheeks.

"No, no, wait! I can decide can't I?" Yongsun countered.

"No," Hyejin said through a laugh. Byul's stance stiffened as she shook her head and stood, laughing in the contagious cadence of the sisters beside her but finding little mirth in the action as Yongsun's head started to swim. Eric pointed in their direction.

"They're so scary!" he called out, both he and Yongsun starting to circle one another in an effort to stall the inevitable. Byul took a few steps toward them as Yongsun yelled,

"I'm so confused," saying **anything** that came to mind in an effort to postpone this moment into an inevitable passing without anything as uncomfortable as kissing on camera occurring, and just as Byul was about to deteriorate and go to her as was her honed and trained instinct, Eric circled back and took Yongsun by the wrist, blocking the rapper from coming any closer, pulling Yongsun's attention from Byul's attempt cross, her eyes reading in surprise that to the camera no doubt appeared to be a state of flustered admiration when in reality it was shock from the jarring switched focus. It made Byul take two large steps back, finding this situation less funny by the second. Hyejin tapped her lower back and said,

"Remember, they have to," she whispered, "and better he feel bad about it," so only Byul could hear her as Eric tried to awkwardly calm Yongsun's flustered mannerisms.

"This is the first time I'm seeing you get this red," Eric stated, no doubt in his own awkward way trying to calm her but Byul bit her inner lip, knowing that calling attention to an issue was not the way to deal with Yongsun. He had no idea how to do that.

"Let's do this!" Hyejin called, now wanting to get it all over with. Hyejin groaned as Yongsun once again found Byul's attention locked in her own and there was a slight push of aggression in Byul's voice as she openly decided,

"You can choose right or left cheek." There was something confrontational about the choice and Yongsun knew it. While she resented the goad, there was a small flash of relieved justification rearing in her head at finally being able to put something to bed that Byul wanted to rear from the corner rather than face head-on. _Better than nothing at all . . ._

"Left," Yongsun announced clearly. They could both hear the commentators already asking why that question was necessary, and in point of fact, Eric asked,

"Why does it matter, why is that important?" But it was very important to them. Which was why Byul's face softened, knowing he wouldn't be touching any part of where Byul normally resided.

"Should we set the mood?" Hyejin asked, starting to hum the melody to 'Words Don't Come Easy,' Byul quietly singing the words to try and showcase how this was so **not** bothering her . . . especially that the maknaes were now using "that song" in this particular moment.

"Kiss! Kiss!" Hyejin and Wheein chanted as Eric moved to Yongsun's left, and as he leaned in, Yongsun kept eye contact with Byul until she felt his dry somewhat chapped lips touch her cheek. Abruptly, her eyes shut and she yanked herself away, covering the laughter spilling from her lips that would have likely embarrassed him. When she opened her eyes again, she sought Byul out first, and only caught her profile as the rapper's attention was honed in another place in the distance. Hyejin and Wheein took over asking Eric a series of funny, weird questions for the camera before they left, Byul standing behind them, somewhat stone-faced.

Yongsun's expression slowly sank and shrank the longer she stared at Byul, hoping to catch her gaze but never once managing. In fact, her disposition became so sour that by the time they wrapped their segment, she **and** Byul were expressing little more than forced convivial looks for the camera. As soon as the director called cut, Byul crossed the grassy terrain at a speed that Yongsun hadn't been anticipating and therefore was unable to catch her. Seeing as it was part of her job to stay with Eric, she was forced to go with him back to the studio, the crew left to clean up whatever mess shooting had garnered. Though it was sunny and warm outside, Yongsun couldn't remember the last time she felt so cold, practically shivering as she was escorted to the studio's van and her bag. Reaching for her phone she immediately tried to think of a text to send to Byul, but unable to think on anything too eloquent just sent a series of question marks.

She stayed on "read" for hours with no pop up of text bubbles. The ride back to the studio was one made in silence, she and Eric never really having much to say to one another apart from pleasantries where necessary whenever they were alone. She kept waiting to feel her phone vibrate with a reply, any sort of word, her temper sparking when they arrived at the production studio and still be no word from Byul. Her ears broke out into a blistered color that was both antagonizing and uncomfortable, especially considering how long that sensation lingered into the same-day late-night shooting schedule. There was no way she would be able to address the issue before midnight.

But midnight was fine by her if that's what it took.

After a message letting Byul know she was on her way, Yongsun wasn't barred at the gate, was buzzed up to the apartment, but received no other form of communication until Byul opened the front door for her. Yongsun was left to shut it behind them as Byul turned her back on her visitor and walked down the hallway. "Did you have a chance to eat?" she asked, making her way toward the refrigerator, flipping on lights here and there. Yongsun caught her by the wrist and turned her around.

"Don't," Yongsun insisted, wanting to conclude the sentiment with "treat me this way, like it's not **me** standing here. As if something, somehow is different now." But she didn't. Instead, she stared at Byul, the rapper's eyes tired and unfocused. She'd either been asleep, or the red rims around the bottom parts of her lids suggested --

Releasing Byul's wrist her hand traced up Byul's jawline until the drawing press of her fingers beckoned and brought their lips together, only managing to scrape the landing before Byul took Yongsun's wrist and whispered, "Not out here, we'll wake up my sister," before dragging Yongsun back to her bedroom. She shut the door quietly behind them, making sure to flip the switches down as they exited until the only source of light in the apartment was the dull, soft glow of a lamp near Byul's makeshift desk in the corner. Yongsun stood in the middle of the room a little at a loss for what to do next, Byul's body braced against the door, her weight supported by the grip she maintained on the knob. She really did seem exhausted. "What couldn't wait until tomorrow?"

"You," was Yongsun's quick reply, now prickled back into the present by Byul's seemingly -- **irritated** energy that Yongsun was in her home. In her bedroom. "If you hadn't spent so long staring at your feet throughout the day you would've noticed how painful all of that was for me." A dark, temperate chuckle blew through Byul's lips as she raised and bared her palm to the light and crossed slowly to Yongsun. There were four little cuts in the shape of crescent moons in her skin, deep and red.

" **This** painful?" she asked, her voice low and cracked. Yongsun took Byul's hand and pulled her closer, both thumbs pressing into the dip of Byul's hand as she whispered,

"There was nothing that obligated you to be on the show at all. Why put yourself through any of it?" Byul's facial expression softened into a pitiful visage, her eyes glistening as her free hand raised and her index finger wrapped a strand of Yongsun's hair behind her ear. She sighed with a small shake of her head.

"Yeba," she whispered before bringing their lips together in a kiss that clutched Yongsun closer to her. Yongsun's hands ran up into Byul's hair as she guided the other woman's lips toward the plump of first her right cheek and then her left, Byul kissing wherever she was guided, erasing the only way they knew how what had been enacted through false consent. Once Byul's lips traveled to the small dip between Yongsun's jawline and throat, Byul guided Yongsun with her until the back of her knees hit the bed, the momentum splaying both of them across the duvet.

They kissed for several minutes, side by side, the heat of passion never rising, but instead slowly wavering until Yongsun finally pulled away. _I was so scared,_ she thought, but said instead, "You know the whole brat act of yours isn't usually my favorite, but I have to admit, after pretending to smile for neverending days at Eric's dumb jokes it was a relief to see a, uh . . . **pop** to his ego." Byul groaned but smiled.

"You love it when I'm a brat," she countered, "hasn't he been nice to you?" Yongsun sighed and rolled onto her back.

"Sure he's nice but he's also -- **really** oblivious to social cues." Byul nodded, resting her head against one hand while her other draped atop Yongsun's stomach, pressing gently in a firm, comforting back and forth motion. Adjacently, the hand Yongsun didn't have buried behind her hand blanketed Byul's hand.

"Sounds like you both have something in common," Byul teased, Yongsun turning to give her a disgruntled look, "Come on, unnie, call a spade a spade, own what you are." Yongsun's head tilted a bit.

"Oh? And what is that? A 'pretty fool' according to you?" Yongsun quietly hoped her calling attention to the nickname which was becoming a regular moniker would stop Byul from using it. She was secretly enchanted by the bestowment. Byul shrugged.

"If the shoe fits." Yongsun's attention turned back to the ceiling as she closed her eyes and muttered,

"Brat." They lay like that for a few minutes, Yongsun's breathing evening out so for a brief moment, Byul wondered if Yongsun hadn't fallen asleep, but eventually, the leader's eyes fluttered open and she said, "I feel like this was an overreaction."

"To?" Byul fished, hoping she would elaborate, sensing what wanted to be said but impatient to hear it come from the source rather than her well of guesses.

Yongsun turned back to Byul until they were mirroring each other with cheeks pressed against warmed palms, "I had no idea what I wanted to say when I came over I was just -- so angry because -- because you wouldn't talk to me." _I carry so much why did you make me carry that too?_

"Weren't you busy?" Byul asked, Yongsun shooting her an incredulous look in response.

"Please. Mindless work only takes so much focus. Why are you making me say things you already know?" Byul licked her lips.

"Because sometimes I don't know, unnie. Sometimes I think I can handle something and -- then he puts his arm around you, then he kisses you . . . then you're even wearing a fake ring." Byul reached up to take Yongsun's hand, now absent the gaudy prop ring that had been there hours before. _It disgusts me_ , Byul thought, seeing the indentions of the ring still left on Yongsun's hand. "But thank you for making him pick the left cheek. For -- understanding what I couldn't say." Byul's smile was sad but sincere as she looked back up at Yongsun, still holding the singer's fingers between her own. She saw in the half-lit silhouette of her leader's face a lot more of the weight than she was willing to share or expose. "We have a promotion tomorrow, are you going to be all right?" Yongsun shrugged.

"The diet pills give me a boost of energy, I will just make sure I take them early enough." Byul sighed. "Oh don't give me that or I will bring breakfast with me and force-feed you every bite. Kimchi pancakes even. Make sure you have cabbage breath before you have to talk to hundreds of people." Byul nodded before tossing her leg over Yongsun's waist, grabbing both of Yongsun's wrists and pinning them above her head. They were both dangerously close to the edge but Byul was becoming more of an expert when it came to balancing her center of gravity. Especially when the primary source was between her legs at the moment. "What the -- "

"Are you taking care of yourself? Tell me the truth Kim Yongsun or I'll never let you go." Yongsun's wiggled her hips, playing into the game now.

"You know I can flip you. Your head will hit the ground and then you'll have to do promotions with a bloodied lip and purple eye." The shifting was quick but half-hearted as Byul's grip tightened on Yongsun's wrists. Pressing extra hard as she leaned down, Byul didn't miss the gasp that passed through her leader's lips.

"What aren't you telling me?" she asked. Yongsun groaned, pushing her head back into the pillow before eyeing Byul with as much tension as she was getting.

"Fine. My parents are still giving me a hard time. When I went to lunch with them the other day all they could do was talk about and praise how Yonghee was getting along with her business. Even with all of these successes, they're not things they understand. So -- it still feels like I'm disappointing the only other people who know me as well as . . . well as well as you." Tears were starting to form in Yongsun's eyes as Byul let go, sitting back and shifting until she was cradling Yongsun against her chest. "No," Yongsun insisted, an open-palmed punch pushing against the rapper's waist, "No, don't feel sorry for me, I don't need your pity. I don't know **how** you got that out of me." Yongsun's moments of forceful resistance deteriorated the minute they were executed, her head curling against the natural heat of Byul's body. Byul chuckled as she began running her hands through Yongsun's hair.

"Maybe you like losing control . . . when it's safe." Byul closed her eyes briefly reimagining how dilated Yongsun's pupils grew the minute she knew she was properly pinned. "Tell me, unnie, do you get confessional after sex?" This time Yongsun did hit her, square in the shoulder, pushing Byul far enough that the intimacy of the embrace was broken and Byul was left chuckling and grabbing her "wounded" arm.

"Something you will **never** get the chance to find out," Yongsun insisted, "not unless you intend to suddenly wake up the opposite gender. And not even then!" Byul bit her bottom lip as she examined Yongsun's face.

"You should take more acting classes, unnie, polish up your poker face." Yongsun reached behind Byul's head, yanking the pillow free from her recline and smacking it down on Byul's face. The second blow was blocked by Byul's arms as she grappled the pillow away and tossed it across the bed, wrapping her arm tightly around Yongsun's waist and pulling her into a searing kiss. Yongsun fought kissing her back until Byul's lips pried their entwined lips open and her tongue began exploring, massaging, and deepening the kiss with every ounce of passion until Yongsun finally moaned. Yongsun's arms and legs wrapped around Byul's body as they kissed until they exhausted one another.

Yongsun didn't leave until the sun started to peek over the horizon, just enough time to run home and get a shower before their daily schedules were set to begin.

******************

Yongsun was relieved to finally be packing up the small dressing room, knowing that next week would consist of back to back daily show performances and she could return to what felt familiar and socialize with the people that upped her energy rather than flayed her anxiety. She had just latched her suitcase, her manager and stylist heading out to find their flag their transportation to the pick-up area of the parking deck when there was a knock on the open door. Forcing a smile, Yongsun turned to Eric. "Come to say good-bye?"

Eric's tall stature curled as he pressed his knuckles against his palms, his gaze jumping between Yongsun and the floor. "Did you have a good time?" he asked. Yongsun grabbed her nearby modesty blanket, holding it to her chest even though she was wearing a sweater.

"Sure," she said, "you -- you treated me with respect, Eric. Thank you." She extended her hand for a shake. He stared at the extended palm for a moment before he delicately blanketed his palm against hers, but instead of bobbing their hands in the ritual for the intended gesture, he held them.

"Yongsun, this may seem like it's coming out of nowhere but -- I was wondering, could I give you a call sometime? Maybe we could get together after your promotions finished?" Yongsun's eyes grew as she registered what he was asking, even if his Korean was a little all over the place in parts. It couldn't have been more obvious what he was insinuating. Yongsun could already hear Wheein's laughter in the back of her mind if she had been in the room, Hyejin's insistence she accept and make-out with him on the spot, and Byul? Her lips tingled from the kisses they had shared a few days ago.

Yongsun very nearly pried her hand free, swiping up the nearby bag, giving him as sincere and polite a smile as she could as she said, "Well, you have my number," she answered before by-passing him into the hallway. He pursued her, his larger gate allowing him to stay in close proximity almost instantaneously.

"I just -- the show is pretend but I want you to know I think you're really special. And I had a good time with you. That whole thing could've been a nightmare and you made it not be." Yongsun stopped, peering down the turn of a corner as they nearly collided with people transferring a clustered costume rack, she and Eric bowed and said hello as was obligatory. The pause in walking momentum allowed him the opportunity to squeeze his hand around the dip of Yongsun's elbow and pull her to him. As she peered up at him, trying to read the depth of his expression, her skin twitched from how tightly his hand clamped over her arm, his fingertips able to touch with how small she was. She was suddenly very aware of their height difference as he stepped closer. "Should I not call?" he asked.

A small twist of her arm unlatched his hold on her as she took a step back and said, "Eric, it was nice working with you, but I really do have to go I have a show in a few hours. I really should be saving my voice. You know how it is." She stepped around him, leaving him standing as her pace toward the exit door where her manager awaited to whisk her away quickened.

Hours later, Yongsun felt relief and joy at having been able to shake off every part of her promised to "We Got Married" into becoming Solar onstage as Mamamoo performed "You're the Best," for their most rambunctious show audience yet. The energy that radiated off the platform when it was announced they had collected yet another win filled the girls with such elation they descended the studio stage steps and b-lined up the metal risers into the audience, a cluster of MooMoos holding their MooBongs alight as the encore performance began cheered to almost deafening levels. Each member walked through as far as the studio's security allowed, touching hands, dancing with audience members who were confined to their seats, and feeding off the crowd that was celebrating so festively with them. **This** was Yongsun's element, side by side with all these proud people chanting their name, able to openly and face to face embrace their fans' love, replacing something shallow and empty with something profound and pure. More than once, someone tapped her shoulder and asked for a high-five, more than once she saw someone's shocked face as she approached and waved jubilantly when she made eye-contact with them. Such simple things that gave her just as much, if not more, pleasure than the fans that were there to support them.

The week that followed was a chaotic and hectic one but by the end of it, "Melting's" album promotions were concluded, and Mamamoo walked away with seven show wins. "When it rains it pours!" Wheein cheered as their team served congratulatory champagne in the dressing room. CEO Jim-Woo had stopped by to make a special announcement.

"Isn't that a saying for bad news?" Byul asked, her hand finding the opportunity in the chaos of the crowd to slip under the hem of Yongsun's shirt, fingers massaging the skin beneath her touch. Yongsun's poker face had improved, the only reaction to the sensation she gave was a side-eye in Byul's direction and then a half-hearted slap against the rapper's arm as she sipped her champagne. Jim-Woo cleared his throat.

"Congratulations to Mamamoo and all of the RBW team on a successful promotion," he began, his slender face breaking into a thin but sincere smile, "you all worked hard, and Do-hoon and I have decided that's a sign for us all to work harder. After a lot of discussions, preparation, and planning, while it's not going to be international -- " Hyejin let out a quick shriek, covering her mouth having caught on to what was being eluded to, and frankly she wasn't alone as the entire room began to buzz considering the rumors which had been filtering through the company for months, " -- we have decided this is the time to take Mamamoo **on. _tour!_** " The four girls enveloped themselves into a tight hug, spinning on the spot as they jumped up and down and cheered, splashing champagne all over themselves and the floor.

"Yah! We have to clean that, calm down!" Their manager chastised, splitting them apart as the girls continued to laugh. "Also, he's not finished talking, listen up." It took a moment for Mamamoo to refocus, the maknaes only halfway succeeding, as Jim-Woo continued.

"Take the week off to prepare a few ideas about stages, then return the following Monday ready to work harder than you ever have before." He raised his champagne glass in Mamamoo's direction. "Mamamoo! Fighting!"

"Fighting!" the entire room roared as the girls re-entered their circle and celebrated further.

\---------------------

"All right, let's start from the bridge!" the female choreographer commanded through a clap. Mamamoo were positioned in their dance sweats in front of four chairs learning new choreography for a song they had selected for their upcoming concert. The song re-started following the tall woman's count down of "five six seven eight!" The foursome hit matching poses, leaning across one another at the hip as the swagger of the bedroom style music filtered through the speakers, singing along to the sultry chorus.

Hyejin and Wheein stepped back to stage left while Yongsun and Byul navigated to stage right, shifting a tiny divide so that when the repeat of the chorus' song title echoed on repeat, each pair faced one another. "Hip-roll, hip-roll, roll, roll, turn!" the choreographer directed as each woman placed their hands on their own hips, twisting in the direction of their partner as they stared into the other person's eyes, Yongsun's pinkening cheeks breaking into a bashful smile while Byul tried her damndest to maintain eye contact long enough before the turn circled them back to back. "All right that was better, cleaner," the choreographer interrupted, "that's all I'm scheduled for today but you guys still have three more hours."

As the dance crew packed up their stuff and headed for the door, Yongsun turned to her group mates and asked, "Should we try it with the sweatshirts? So we know our angles?" The maknaes looked like they wanted to protest, but Byul cut them to the quick.

"Can't we just take a break from this song? We haven't gone over 'Mr. Ambiguous' since last week." Though Byul was complaining in Yongsun's direction, her focus was at the ceiling, head lulled back as her hands gripped the back of her hips, her tone indicating she had zero desire to run the number even once more. Unfortunately, Yongsun didn't pick up on the cue.

"This is our final number, it has to be the best. We just started learning it and it's not **learned**. Here," Yongsun crossed to the nearby table and plucked up the large beige sweatshirts they would be wearing during the number and handed one first to Hyejin and then Wheein who stared begrudgingly at the thick garment but after a beat started to undress. When Yongsun extended the sweater to Byul she just stared at it.

"Really, Yongsun, I'm not in the mood anymore." Yongsun's eyebrows shot up, crinkling the lines in her exposed forehead, the ponytail high on her head seeming to stretch her cheeks back into her ears with how hard Byul's insubordination shocked her.

"Byul-ah. Put on the damn sweater so we can rehearse." Byul yanked the sweater from her leader's hands before tossing it right back onto the table, staring at Yongsun after. Yongsun stood aghast, both Hyejin and Wheein staring at what was about to unfold, telepathically priming the other to grab the first one that made an onslaught move. And apparently it was going to be their leader, who retrieved the sweater Byul had discarded and shoved it hard against the rapper's chest. "Put it on!" Yongsun bellowed. Byul's pushed Yongsun back a few inches. Hyejin and Wheein approached but didn't yet intervene.

"No!" Byul cried, grabbing her bag and heading to the door, "fine me if you want, I'm taking a break." Yongsun tried to make for the door but Wheein's palm pressed gently against her chest stopped her mid-stride.

"It's my job to go after her!" Yongsun insisted.

"As leader. But you're not her friend right now. She won't hear you. Do you want more time wasted?" Wheein asked before removing her hand and charging after Byul, having a pretty solid idea where the rapper had stormed off to.

Yongsun stared at the door, still holding two sweaters in her hands. "What the fuck just happened?" she muttered, meaning it as a rhetorical question but turning to Hyejin none the less who was staring at her in a signature stance of hers, hips cocked to the side and hands flanked on the back of her waist. "Do you know something I don't?" Hyejin exhaled through her nose, her lips crinkling a bit as one hand traced across her shiny orange bob. "I mean, that came out of nowhere right? I'm not imagining things?"

"Do you really want to hear it, unnie, or are you just barking because she didn't let you bite?" Yongsun threw the sweaters across the room, only one of them managing to land on the table.

"Tell me," Yongsun's tone was both demanding and trepidatious, a moniker it was likely only someone like Hyejin could have picked up on since both of them had to learn how to properly communicate with each other, suffering from so many fights and hurt feelings before they readjusted both sets of expectations. They may have paired off to opposite teammates in terms of closeness, but there was something very unique in the bridge between Yongsun and Hyejin, the sort of way blue and yellow could come together to make green -- primary opposites but when working in harmony created something eye-catching.

Hyejin crossed to the mirror and leaned against it once she sat, opening a bottle of water from a stash nearby, her tank top (she had managed to discard her crop top covering before the ensuing explosion) riding up to her bra line. The maknae wiped her face as she took a swallow. Against a raised knee she balanced the container as she stared at it instead of Yongsun. "Some things are obvious. Like the fact we now have to shoulder the weight of this concert and it's only been a month since the announcement and suddenly there's new choreography and new costuming. But that's standard fare. What **isn't** is the fact beneath all of that I caught Byul yesterday catching up on your latest episode of 'We Got Married.'" Yongsun's eyes rolled dramatically with the dip of her head as she let out a loud groan.

"This bitch! I thought I'd fixed that. Why is she watching it?" Yongsun started to lightly pace as her arms folded over her chest. Hyejin paused waiting for her to start ranting but when it was apparent Yongsun was instead choosing to fold into herself to examine whatever tended to happen between her and Byul in the dark -- something Hyejin understood, though Yongsun never asked her about her own flings -- Hyejin continued.

"Do you remember when they told us not to cut our hair before debut and I did it anyway?" Yongsun stopped, looking down at Hyejin who was giving the leader no more focus than the uptick of her eyes.

"What does that have to do with what happened? Besides, you got lucky. They likely thought your decision was connected to what they saw as my poor leadership." Hyejin burst out laughing, curling a pout onto Yongsun's lips at being, in her opinion, taunted by the younger woman. Hyejin got to her feet and shook her head slowly.

"You really need to do something about that ego. Not every consequence falls squarely on your shoulders. If anything Byul is **telling** you that she wants to be in it with you. Why aren't you letting her? Or can't you see that our little hamster rapper is head over heels in love with you?" Yongsun balked, her head ticking from side to side and for a moment they both wondered if she was going to try and deny it. But instead, she bit her bottom lip and sighed, finally fitting all of the pieces together, realizing one night didn't undo everything Byul was likely to see once she decided to watch Yongsun's performance, and even in knowing it was a performance there was still a plethora of things Yongsun did and did not remember saying while pretending to be married to someone else. "I think she exploded because -- something about today set her off. Maybe you can take some time and think about what that was?" Yongsun's phone vibrated across the table. Fetching it she saw there was a text from Wheein asking if it was all right for them to come back in. Yongsun's brows furrowed.

"Odd question," she muttered before typing back an insistent yes.

Yongsun and Hyejin shared a suspended look before Yongsun uttered two words she didn't share nearly enough, "Thank you," just as the door handle turned and Wheein and Byul re-entered the room. Byul's hands were in her back pockets as she sheepishly approached Yongsun with a small bow.

"I'm sorry for being disrespectful," she muttered, "can we just get back to rehearsal?" Yongsun's arms twitched to reach out and hug in the woman in front of her, but the weight of Hyejin's confession -- not just the reiteration of what she had suspected, but knowing that at the very least Hyejin, and then by proxy Wheein both knew how Byul felt about her -- stilled her arms. Instead, she patted Byul's shoulder and nodded.

"Let's just practice, and we don't have to try the sweaters just yet." Byul pointed to the one on the floor.

"Especially since now I'm going to have to wash mine," she said with a small laugh, picking it up and setting it on the table as Yongsun looked over her shoulder and noticed the maknaes whispering to each other. Yongsun almost took the moment to ask Byul if she was all right if maybe there wasn't a time they could talk out what happened better, but no. That wasn't their language. They made up and moved on. Water under the proverbial bridge. So instead she went to the sound system and set up the track while the other three members returned to their starting positions in front of the mirror.

******************

In the weeks that followed, each member of the group threw themselves into preparations for the concert. Byul in particular stayed at the studio as late as she could as often as she could, rehearsing and re-rehearsing her solo stage as she worked and pushed to solidify each little part of the choreography she had mocked up herself to instill every movement with every piece of story she could derive from the song she had chosen. It had been an easy thing to throw herself into, just her and the music and the mirror. The only person she was accountable to on those nights were herself, her strongest eye and harshest critic. Yet every night after each wrist-bleeding session she always faced down the same text from Yongsun asking what she was up to. Some nights she responded with the truth, other times she just left the leader on read. Those were getting fewer and far between as the next day she was faced with a cold shoulder she had to work to unthaw as they were shuttled off to either a promo, performance, or rehearsal given the day's intentions. When she was with the other three, it would help re-sync her motivations, work ethic, and goal sight, pushing her to make the commitment that by the time Friday rolled around at the end of each week, she would not put herself through yet another viewing of the latest episode of "We Got Married" in an effort to maintain her sanity. Yet somehow, the combination of her curiosity and deepest fears ensured she lost that battle every time.

Tonight was no different from how any other had played out. She was sitting in the small studio, most of the lights out except the one in the farthest corner, watching the episode on her phone, watching as in this particular case Yongsun -- no, Solar, it was easier somehow if she told herself it was **Solar** since it was how the program was referring to her anyway -- was giving her "newlywed husband" a massage to help relax him. Byul watched **Solar's** fingers caress up and down Eric's legs, across his arms and hands. She could feel the pressure being exuded even though it was someone else receiving the touch -- because she knew precisely how every bit of that felt. In point of fact, at their last photoshoot, Byul had been acting so tense that Yongsun had offered to give her back a quick rub. Byul watched with a somewhat turning sensation as Solar's hands execute the same ministrations Yongsun's had only a few days ago against her own skin and muscles.

She slammed her phone so hard against the shiny studio floor that for a second she worried she had shattered the screen, but when she picked it up to examine it there was nothing more than a few crumbs of floor dust pressed against it. The contraption immediately vibrated in her hand. A text from Yongsun: "Can we talk?" it asked. Byul stared hard at the screen, eclipsing the top portion of the video that showed a smiling Solar gazing at some tall, goofy baffoon in their shared bed and typed back quickly, "Busy tonight. Maybe later," before turning her phone off. Setting her phone on top of her bag she got the music started up, blaring it louder as she began her routine, running and pushing it until she was sure the sweat on her back and in her eyes gave more of an explanation for the sting at the corner of her lids than the redness from the tears that fell.

Byul's muscles slowly unclenched a few hours later beneath a scalding hot showerhead. Her sister was spending the week at her parent's house so the apartment was dead quiet, her urge to turn the television on just for some company at its peak as after she stepped out of the shower and threw on an oversized shirt and some baggy pants she turned her phone back on. Her clock told her it was already nearly one a.m. as she opened up a series of texts from Yongsun, all of them one sentence or one word saying the same things, "Can you come over?" "I need to talk to you." "Are you ignoring me?" "Please." Byul bit her bottom lip, wondering how to best reply when the phone rang. She thought about sending it straight to voicemail before sliding the call open and putting it to her ear. There was a long pause on the other end before Yongsun's voice simply asked, "Please, Byul-ah?"

The key Yongsun had given Byul a few months ago slipped quietly into the lock of Yongsun's apartment roughly an hour later as Byul wearily walked through the front door. She quietly secured the latch behind her, there seemed to be something quieter still about this moment in Byul's eyes. Or perhaps that was just because she was so damned exhausted. Kept herself exhausted so she wouldn't be exactly here. So why had she come when Yongsun called this time of all times? Yongsun was sitting in the kitchen sipping on a glass of almond milk, catching Byul's eye-line as the rapper slowly approached the other side of the island and took a seat on the opposite bar stool. Distorted reflections mirrored back at them in the dim kitchen light from the makeshift marble finish as Yongsun smiled and placed her half-empty glass down on the counter after it left her lips. "What couldn't wait until tomorrow?" Byul asked, reiterating a line that was very nearly becoming a tell between them. She waited for Yongsun's biting response of "You" but instead was nearly thrown off the stool when Yongsun's head bowed, the breaking sound of a sob following the action.

"I'm so tired," she confessed quietly, the rapper's hand extending out to blanket over Yongsun's hand but the movement didn't coax Yongsun's fingers to embrace the gesture. Yongsun's hand remained limp beneath Byul's touch as she continued, "It all feels so very heavy. So . . . unending." Taking her hand back she wiped at her cheeks before looking up at Byul who was staring back like a deer in headlights, her previous fatigue mostly forgotten in the face of Yongsun's distress. "You know they . . . they never **really** emphasize how tired you'll be when they try and prepare you for this life." Byul's tongue swiped across her bottom lip.

"Is that why I'm here? Because you're tired? That's an awfully long trip for a fact we're all suffering from." Yongsun chuckled, both irritated and embarrassed by Byul's cavalier tone.

"I do sound pathetic, don't I?" she muttered, downing the rest of the milk in her glass. In spite of herself, Byul sighed and shook her head.

"You're not pathetic," she insisted, "unnie, what is it? Why did you need to talk to me?" Yongsun set the glass down again and in doing so seemed to have found a bit more of her resolve.

"It's been a month since you could stand to be alone in the same room as me," she chided, getting up from the stool and rinsing the glass in the sink. "I wish I didn't have to corral your attention."

"Why? Because you've never had to before? I already hop when you say jump do you need me to leap when you say it too?" The glass clattered against the steel of the sink as the water shut off, Yongsun turning to Byul slowly. "I'm not your doormat, Yongsun. I've had a lot on my plate too if you haven't noticed."

"A doormat?" Byul's attention suddenly shifted to her folded hands on top of the counter before the interlocked set lowered into her lap. Yongsun's knees trembled momentarily as if she had just accidentally charged into a wall she hadn't seen or had somehow missed and was now suffering from an all-over body sting she would feel in the morning and for days on end. "That's news to me," her flattened tone admitted. A biting laugh flicked across Byul's lips like a broken matchstick had just cracked against her tongue.

"I'm **never** in it **with** you even when I sense you might want me to be just that." Byul's attention turned to Yongsun. "You don't think I **notice** you look to me **just** as often as I look at you? I know you're a little slow on the uptake, but you're not dumb. You can play off every last bit, ration and reason to the cameras, fuck if I don't do it too. But it's still there. Cycling back in on itself. Your -- your **need** for me . . . I can't be projecting." Her hands returned to the table as her firm resolve began to break and she shook her head, blinking back the onset of tears. "I fucking can't. It's too much if I am. It -- it'd be too much."

For several painful seconds, Yongsun remained immobile, every moment finally aligning along the same path to catch up to her. In spite of everything she had done -- Hyejin had been right. Somehow, regretfully, painfully, it seemed Byul was doubting. Hadn't she already said it? Showed it? Had Byul lied when she said those things were enough? "Why do you feel this way?" Yongsun asked, approaching the corner of the island, hoping to pull Byul's attention to her, finally feeling a little relief amongst the pain that Byul was excavating what she had been fearfully guessing at for months on end. Byul looked up and her head shook a bit before she hopped down from the stool and crossed into the living room, taking large strides to work herself up before whirling around and shouting,

"I hate that you didn't even stop to say no!" Yongsun slowly approached.

"Say no?"

"You never even **thought** about saying no to being on that show! Or tried to get out of it?! You just **accepted** it!" Yongsun's body stammered as much as the fluctuating cadence of her voice.

"So you wanted me to just **reject** what I was being **told** to do? You think I'm like you? Like Wheein or Hyejin?" Yongsun's voice raised to match the flames coiling off Byul's body. "The expectations for me are far more intense, the repercussions **far** more severe!"

"How can you **say** that?!" Byul yelled, "Do you **hear** yourself when you talk?"

"I'm the leader!" Yongsun cried, "And I'm also very, **very** replaceable." Byul was stunned into silence. "Oh, did I shock you? Had you not considered that I don't sing as well as Wheein? I don't have Hyejin's stage presence or your dancing and rapping ability?" Yongsun licked the corner of her lips and tasted salt. "You all assume that because I'm at the front of the line I'm the most secure. But I'm not. I'm the one with the biggest target on my back. I **also** hear what they say about my age! Fuck, Byul, I'm **five. years. older** than Hyejin and Wheein. When was the last time you saw that in a long-term, successful, small girl group?" Byul's body began to sway with every punch Yongsun threw at her. "So yes, I work harder, I kiss more ass, I bow lower where I can and go on **stupid** reality shows to pretend I'm something I'm not because the thought of not being in Mamamoo after all of this . . . " she reached up and punched Byul's shoulders with a force that nearly knocked both of them to the floor as she screamed, " . . . of not being with **you** after all of this . . . is something I don't know if I would survive!" Yongsun covered her eyes as a sob wracked her body and through a twisted strain forced out, "I fucking hate you. I fucking hate that no one can make me feel more than you. I fucking hate that you don't get it yet, you don't get it, you just don't -- "

Byul closed the distance between them, wrenching Yongsun's hands free so she could look at her, her tone breathless as tears started to form in her own eyes. "What Yongsun? Say it. **What** don't I get?" She saw "It" deep in the recesses of Yongsun's eyes, the truth unable to be buried beneath the black swell of the large pupils staring back at her. She willed her own eyes to reflect the sentiment, to bring that part of Byul's heart that Yongsun had staked her claim in years ago so the woman in her arms would be brave . . . and say it. And if she did? Byul would take it as permission for what was to come next.

"I love you, idiot," Yongsun declared, "Don't -- don't you love me too?" Byul's hands cupped Yongsun's cheeks, her thumb running across Yongsun's bottom lip.

"When haven't I loved you?" A wet laugh brushed through her lips. "Especially when I hate you. Like you hate me, huh?"

"Stop being a little shit and kiss me." Even though it was Yongsun who requested the sentiment, she was the one to clasp the back of Byul's neck and bring her into a deep kiss. The pull continued as the pair's tangled kissing navigated them down the hallway until they tore through Yongsun's bedroom door. Before they could approach the bed, Byul shoved Yongsun against the wall, using the pressure of her heaving chest and strong kisses to immobilize Yongsun so she could undo her pants and untuck her shirt. Yongsun's hands ripped the article of clothing right off Byul's back seconds later. Byul reciprocated, pulling Yongsun's shirt over her head and for the first time found herself able to admire Yongsun's naked chest -- at least under these circumstances. She'd definitely shamelessly stared various times throughout the years whenever the leader decided to walk around topless before a shower or while changing into a new costume, but this was different. This was the offering, the supplication, of being willing bare before . . . _before a lover._ And once again Byul was caught staring. "Are you going to just **look** at them?"

"Just for that," Byul taunted, exhaling a quiet laugh before sinking to her knees, her lips trailing kisses down Yongsun's sternum to her abdomen until she was tracing along the hem of Yongsun's waistband, keeping her eyes upward as Yongsun watched her worshipping descent. Yongsun's hands ran through the rapper's hair, fingers clenching as Byul's lips caressed over a particularly sensitive area while her fingers unfastened Yongsun's pants, stripping her of every article of clothing below the waist in one go. The soft bedroom light exposed Yongsun completely to Byul who in removing the final piece of Yongsun's clothes, reclined on her heels to admire Yongsun's completely nude form, her fingertips running across the svelt curves and cuts of Yongsun's calves, placed there through years of exhaustive work. Every line of Yongsun's frame held every particle of sacrifice and strength that very few people ever got to see. Byul tried to remain underwhelmed at the thought of being one of them but it took everything in her to not mutter a "wow" so instead, she pressed her hands firmly against the slightly tanned skin of Yongsun's thighs as she rose to her feet, her lips tracing up Yongsun's stomach until they landed on the hard, risen points of Yongsun's aroused breasts.

A small, hiking lift brought Yongsun into Byul's arms as she turned her to the bed, her mouth still clamped around the newly exploring nipple in her mouth as she laid Yongsun back against the duvet. Yongsun moaned, her body twisting before Byul's focus shifted to her other side, but before her lips could land, Yongsun leaned forward and clutched Byul's pants by the hem and shoving them clear of the rapper's lower body, Yongsun's shortened nails scratching across Byul's spine making her shiver as the tracing action reached the clasp of Byul's bra and with a click of her fingers, snapped it free, tossing the bra to the floor to join the rest of their clothes. Yongsun took the same moment Byul had to stare at the woman above her, taken aback at how delicately beautiful she was. She knew Byul loved to blend her masculine and femininte traits into one, but it truly was the soft elegant sculpting of Byul's womanly form that really made her motor rev. She quietly anticipated what was unfolding between them as their eyes locked and remained woven until their lips met again and their hands began to explore everywhere they could touch. New sensations scattered through the both of them at now being able to feel, taste, touch in so may decadent new ways. It was like being drunk without the alcohol, so it was quite the shock to Yongsun's system when her upper body was hit with the gentle embrace of the absence of Byul's body as the rapper kissed down Yongsun's body, not stopping until her head landed between the singer's legs.

As Byul parted Yongsun with her tongue, Yongsun's hand threaded through Byul's locks, her head straining back into her pillow, her back arching the tiniest bit as Byul's pointed tongue pushed into her. "Fuck," Yongsun moaned, biting down on her bottom lip as her hooded eyes drifted down to Byul's who was staring up at her. A spike of heat liquidated what was left of whatever small part of Yongsun enjoyed the bed power play as she surrendered to everything Byul's mouth was doing to undo her. A moan rode upward from the very back of her throat until it crested across her vocal chords in a loud extended cry, alerting Byul to how quickly she was working her over, how near she was to her first orgasm. Byul laughed low in her throat, Yongsun feeling it as a result, her system unprepared for the disconnect of Byul's lips with her body. "What? No no no why did you stop?" Yongsun asked as Byul's thin, catlike body slinked its way up until Byul was kissing her again. At first, Yongsun was startled by the taste of herself on Byul's lips, her shortlisted previous lovers never being kind enough to return the favor of oral prior, but as Byul's body rested against then moved against hers, her thigh massaging against the raised and sensitive areas between Yongsun's legs, the taste fired off like an aphrodisiac.

Clutching Byul closer, Yongsun's tongue pressed hard into Byul's mouth eliciting a moan from the rapper as they rolled back and forth across the mattress, finding new places to kiss, new pieces of skin for fingertips to caress, how it felt when one pair of hips straddled and pushed against the other, how touching one place and kissing another elicited new sounds and shivers that were both frustrating and deliriously tasty all in one go. It seemed to go on for hours, both of them so revved up it was likely one or both was going to explode before Byul pulled Yongsun into her lap from where she sat back on her haunches, one arm wrapped around Yongsun's waist to keep her close, the other playing at Yongsun's open and waiting center. Their eyes met as their lips parted, and Byul knew there was no reason to ask if Yongsun was sure or if, **somehow** they should force themselves to stop. The sweat on their brow and the quiver in their breathing, the pattering tremble of Yongsun's fingers clutched in the frame of her shoulder blades all gave their consent.

When Byul pushed inside her, Yongsun's hips rolled down and they both moaned, releasing years of tension in one combined movement. Yongsun clutched Byul tight, immobilizing them both as her cheek pressed against Byul's, her chest hitching up as she began to cry. Byul's opposite hand pressed Yongsun tighter against her, letting the tears fall for a few minutes, before Yongsun's desperate kisses covered her shoulder, up her neck, her jawline, their wet eyes meeting before a searing kiss acted like a gunshot to Yongsun's hips and she started moving against Byul's deeply penetrated fingers. Yongsun's legs clenched tightly, locking her in so Byul was able to wipe the wet strands against Yongsun's face clear of her line of sight so they could maintain their eye contact, soft gasps mingling with peaks of high-pitched moans. "That's it," Byul encouraged, "that's it, Yong, let go. All the way. Give me everything. I've got you."

Pressing her forehead against Byul's, Yongsun gripped Byul's shoulders so tightly that she was certain they were going to collapse under the force as the leader's hips became more rapid and insistent, Byul's hand moving in and out just as fast, pressing against the upper wall g-spot with every ounce of strength she could manage until finally, Yongsun's body shot up, her chest shoving upward as her back nearly arched all the way back into a curve so strong she probably looked like a question mark. The weight of it all brought them both back to a reclining position as Byul kissed every sweaty part of Yongsun's neck before throwing Yongsun's leg over her shoulder and starting up again. Yongsun met her beat for beat and rode out several scream-inducing orgasms until they both collapsed in a heated, sticky mess on top of each other, Yongsun on top from the position where she had ridden Byul to ecstasy at least three more times after the first two rounds.

The pair lay there, fingers tracing across warmed to cooling skin, Yongsun's head cradled against Byul's chest, both wearing bleary grins that tinted their afterglow in a blissful blanket that made the need for covers unnecessary. "You -- seemed to be in your element," Yongsun said, dancing around the real observation in her mind.

"Is that your way of asking if I've done this before? With a girl?" Yongsun shifted a bit, making Byul chuckle. "Shit, was I really that good? I mean I guessed by all the sounds you were making I was doing something right but damn!" Sitting up, Yongsun swatted Byul, kicking at the rapper's heels while the latter cackled.

"Have you?" Yongsun asked. Byul grabbed Yongsun's incoming, swinging hands by the wrists before bringing both to her cheeks and kissing the inside of each palm.

"It was the best I've ever had too," Byul said without a hint of irony, "because it's you." They paused in the moment of truth before they both cringed and smirked.

"You're so cheesy!" Yongsun cried as Byul laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, even I felt how slick that grease was," she concurred, "although . . . " Byul's hand found its purchase against something else that was still wet and she grinned, "that's not always such a bad thing," she finished before her kiss pushed Yongsun onto her back for yet another go.

**********************

Green: striving for excellence and drive for excitement. Yellow: an enduring hope and inspiration to reach our dreams. Orange: captivating charisma and the caliber to show it. Pink: lasting affection of love; Pink -- it's who we are. The eclectic circumference in the squared color representation for their first grandstand concert: Moosical was plastered all over Olympic Park in Seoul. For the majority of the summer, each member of Mamamoo had been working tirelessly along with their teams to create a memorable experience for MooMoos, new and old, and the cycle of performances was coming to fruition in a weekend in August. In between all of that, however, Yongsun and Byul had found moments to steal away both off and around their set-up schedules.

In point of fact they had become so comfortable maneuvering in and out of closets and private dressing rooms that one day when they were being far less careful (likely due to in part to scrambled exhaustion), the maknaes had walked right in on them mid-kiss, forcing them to jump back with such force they both nearly stumbled to the floor. "Yay!" had been Wheein's cheering reaction as Hyejin laughed so hard she nearly collapsed.

"We know, we know we need to be more careful," Yongsun insisted. Hyejin gathered herself enough to cross the room, still chuckling as she placed a hard kiss on Yongsun's cheek.

"Don't you fucking dare," she whispered in their leader's ear before immediately counteracting that with a nod and, "but yes you do," and a smile that lit the oldest and youngest in the room up from the inside. Hyejin had turned to Byul and asked, "So does that mean I've lost my chance?" with a sly wink that made Byul blush.

"Uh, we -- um -- " Byul stuttered, making Hyejin groan as her hands encircled Byul's wrists shaking them playfully from side to side.

"If you don't learn to lighten up you'll die an old maid and a virgin Byul-ssi," Hyejin's eyebrow raised in Yongsun's direction as she peered flirtatiously over her shoulder, "or is that no longer of potential concern?" Wheein was practically doubled over in laughter as Yongsun's ears turned the color of Hyejin's pink costume.

Really, it couldn't have gone any better both she and Byul later decided, not that there was anything to tell or talk about with Hyejin and Wheein. Not officially. If anything, there was far more to hide. So when they were on stage in front of their fans, in an element that only the four of them could dominate, singing and performing to the cheers of so much love it was unreal, the tension they kept bottled up throughout the day released itself on the stage. And in one number, in particular, Byul was unafraid to show, rather than tell, exactly what had been giving her endless hours of happiness amongst a new palette of fantasies.

The concert was filled with many long and rambunctious numbers but during the show's powerful second half, one of Melting's more popular b-sides was now given choreography that featured the girls in little more than long-sleeved male white button-downs and modesty shorts. As the lights faded to a soft dim and the sounds of an alluring saxophone filtered in, Mamamoo began their seductive number, complete with background dancers in suggestive BDSM attire. When Wheein crossed to Hwasa, Solar to MoonByul, MoonByul's eyes locked hard with Solar while their hips rotated in tandem toward one another, quirking her lips in a smirk she knew drove their leader round the bend because it had become a precursor to some of their most passionate moments. Its intended effect sparked a swell of Solar's pupils and when they stepped into the next pose of the synced choreography, MoonByul knew she had Solar's permission for the next phase of spontaneity. A few beats later after one turn out and another turn toward, MoonByul's hand instead of running down the silhouette of Solar's hair scooped across Solar's chest, and while the press wasn't deep MoonByul knew Solar's body well enough now that even past the body leotard beneath the flimsy material of the button down, there was in fact a spice of arousal. She had to bite the inside of her cheek **hard** to keep from smiling as the parts of the crowd that saw the move nearly lost what was left of their shit.

Yongsun meanwhile continued on with the song as was intended, though she got her own form of vengeance when the pair popped backstage. She grabbed Byul's hand, pressing two firm, flat fingers against her palm, biting the corner of her bottom lip, something **she** knew was a trigger for Byul, and from the tiny pop of Byul's lips separating, she left her standing there via a cocky strut in her step. These were the ways they played backstage, in between songs, in a language they were cultivating and crafting as the days wore on since that night in April. And here, in their element, where the chants and cries of fans honored their efforts without anything other than the cycling high of performance, their daring vibrato between each other only heightened. It was its own aphrodisiac in a way, something only the four of them shared in the same way through the same moments in time. And whatever was budding between Yongsun and Byul was magnified in its blossoming as they performed as Solar and MoonByul.

Toward the end of their performance, the four of them all sat down on stage to sing a song that Yongsun had begun crafting, but Byul, Hyejin, and Wheein had all collaborated on, creating the very first song from Mamamoo to MooMoos. The transition of the lights caught little sparks of light in the sequins of their white and gold majorette style uniforms as MoonByul's rap began: "My heart becomes neglected by familiarity after time the hurting words that comfort gives each other. I hope it doesn't come to us, let's send it to space far away, okay? Did you just laugh? I like it when you laugh. What do you need to say? Wherever I go, I think I'm reassuring today, but my growing greed I hope I won't push you away."

The first swell of the melody was taken away by Hwasa's raspy, lulling voice as all the members swayed to the lovely, enchanting rhythm for a flow of the verse until both Wheein and Solar had joined the culmination of gratitude and warmth radiating from the song. As the verse and chorus led into the next stanza all four members stood, traipsing down the catwalk of the stage, fans on either side hidden in the dim lights but faces alight against the glow of the lightsticks, until all four of them were fanned across the lower apex of the stage's platform echoing the sentiment: "I can't express everything in words between us now. I'm sorry, just because I always receive. Thank you and I love you. I remember those words when you first rang me, the words 'I won't let go.' I promise you, always, I love you too."

It was then that the screen shifted behind them, the music dying away as Mr. and Mrs. Kim's voices filtered over the speakers, their encouraging, cheerful words for their daughter turning all of the member's attentions to the projection. As if she had been punched, all the air left Yongsun's lungs and like a faucet had been turned on behind her eyes, she broke into tears, immediately covering her eyes at seeing her parent's own recorded visages in front of her, singing her praises and the equal fervor for Mamamoo, encouraging words she had so desperately longed to hear for years coming from their lips. As soon as the picture shifted focus to Mr. and Mrs. Moon, she listened to the praises the next set of parents offered for their hard-working child, who had wept so openly in her mother's lap the day she had been let go from SM, vowing to not give up and try again and again until she was here. Byul's head bowed in gratitude as tears cascaded down her cheeks, the high of the performance and the stress of the work imbued with each teardrop from her parents' supportive words to keep fighting. Hyejin's parents, Wheein's mother followed, the surprise complete, Wheein the most stable in terms of her emotions continued to sing as each member slowly found the wherewithal to join her, though Yongsun never fully recovered during the entirety of the number, her voice faltered, wavered, and she let it. If she was going to show fans through song how she felt, and if she had to hide so much of who she could be, then for a moment, they would hear who she was.

As the song strummed its final notes, the foursome convened in the circle, wrapped in one another's arms as the sounds of the crowd roared and the lights dimmed until there was a complete fade to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is reading, I appreciate it so very much. Please, if you haven't already smack that Kudos button just like Yong smacks Byul when she's greasy. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, if you did please please please leave me a comment below so I can know what you thought. I had a lot of fun writing this one and I hope you had just as much reading it. Remember, there's a lot of story left so I hope you're ready to continue to go through the gamut of this "passion project" of mine because we're really JUST beginning. Thank you again. MWAH!


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